Fix You/It

Time again for yet another new gimmick that I’ll probably never use again, this one’s called fix you/it. And yes it’s a Coldplay reference, and yes I’m embarrassed, but I think it works. And besides Coldplay’s not all bad, I mean they did point out to us that the stars are in fact yellow*. Anyhow, below you’ll find a list of broken things and my advice on how to fix them. Well enough with the foreplay, let’s jump right in.

Sports Center:
- Lets be honest, this show is just slipping, it’s plummeting off it’s pedigree. The show has become more gimmicky then my blog. Each months there’s less and less high lights and more and more analysis and topical pieces. Sports Center should be about highlights, save analysis for Outside the Lines and NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB, ect, ect, Tonight and what not. Honestly the only time and issue should have analysis is if it’s truly a ground breaking, larger then life story. And worst the show should be 85% highlights and 15% analysis. Right now it seems as if there’s more analysis then highlights, which is just plain wrong.
- No more Stuart Scott. His lazy eye creeps everyone out, he’s not funny and the only people who like him are rich white kids who have never come in contact with an actual black person. Do us all a favor and put “Stu” out to pasture.
- And finally if you insist on having analysis please teach your side reporters how to speak. I personally cringe every time they throw it some writer for ESPN the Mag or ESPN.com. I cringe because A.) This person generally looks like they’re about to sh*t themselves because they’ve never been on TV before and B.) Every single one of these people talks to the camera as if he’s addressing a kinder garden class. It’s just so damn awkward. Please, teach these people how to talk before you let them on TV, I don’t think that’s asking to much.

Radio Music: (This category is awkwardly phrased.)
- This maybe asking to much, but can the Soul not Meet Body every half hour?**
- Stop trying to portray James Blunt and Nickleback as actual artists. List James Blunt is a huge joke. His lyrics are beyond atrocious and it sounds like he’s trying to sound like Aaron Nevil covering Maroon 5 songs. And as for Nickleback, well there first to single were exactly the same, literally. If you haven’t heard the mash up of ‘How You Remind Me’ and ‘Someday’, in which the songs line up perfectly, the whole way though, then you might not no what I’m talking about. But just trust me.
- Diversity. Just like a good portfolio, mainstream music needs this in the worst way. I mean do we really need 50 pop punk bands posing as limp-wrist core bands? Can anyone actually tell the difference between Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, All-American Rejects, Good Charlotte, Hawthorne Heights and the 40 other bands that all have the exact same sound? The answer is of course no. And we won’t even go into the multiple U2/Radiohead rip offs***.
- Originality. I could on forever on this, let’s just move on.

The Daily Show:
- Jon Stewart, for the love of gawd start taking yourself less seriously. You use to be funny, and now you appear as if you’re running for office in ’08. No matter how hard you try your show isn’t going to get Bush impeached, so just concentrate on being funny. Trust me it’s for the best.
- New Side Reporters. It’s pretty obvious that the shows writers are still funny, but the show has yet to recover from losing Mo Rocca and the Steves. And the group that has replaced them is about as humorous as Larry the Cable Guy and Paul Rodriguez. And if you think either of those men are famous please stop reading my blog.
- Stop being so damn preachy. Maybe it’s because I tune it to the show for humor and not to get my opinion from it, but lately the show has been extremely pretentious, listen I’m pretty sure your sh*t smells to. Or maybe it doesn’t, but it sure seems like it does.

Nick and Jessica:
- Listen I loved ‘Newlyweds’ just as much as everyone else, but I feel strongly that this situation doesn’t need fixing. My reasoning for this: I’ve fallen head over heals for Nick’s new single “What’s Left of Me”. And no, I’m not joking. I really like that song.

NBA Refs:
- Start listening to Mark Cuban. While his views are a little extreme, with a little tweaking they would be just what the league ordered. If you haven’t read his take on reffing in the playoffs yet go here: www.blogmaverick.com
- Consistency. This is all you can ask a ref for, is to be consistent. Instead one play the refs will call a player for a foul if he’s with in three feet of his man, then on the next they want call a foul unless someone gets tackled. Have some sort of guide line and stop flying by the seat of your pants out there, you’re embarrassing yourself.
- Let the big men play. I’m sick and tired of seeing tick tack fouls called on big men. I the offense player initiates any contact he’s going to the line, which is BS. I know the NBA wants scoring up, but at least give the defensive player a chance, especially in the playoffs.
- Remember, it’s not about you. Let the players decide the game. I’ve seen to many great games ruined by the refs this postseason. The prime example was the Spurs-Mavs game 3 on Saturday. Dirk, as good as he was, got a call every time he drove, irregardless of what the Spurs defense did. They fouled Tim Duncan out, who was proving once again why he’s the best player in the game, on an awful call and made sure that Dallas would have a chance to win the game at the line. Is it to much to ask for a good post season game in which I don’t have to talk about the refs afterward? Seriously, I just want to see the players determine the outcome of the game,
unassisted.

My Blog:
- Editing. Seriously this thing is so damn sloppy, the least I could do is spell check.
- Drop the ego. Most of the time I come off like a pragmatic, egocentrical a-hole. My posts would probably be a lot more readable if I had a little bit of humility.
- Branching out. Let’s face it, I’m really not that diverse. I only have opinions about sports, music, TV/Movies and every now and then video games. My blog would probably be better if I was interesting.

Well that’s it for now. Hopefully that will sustain you for sometime, because I’m pretty winded after all that typing. Stay pure readers.

Until We Meet Again.

* With apologies to Chuck Klosterman. I meant that more as a reference then blatant plagerism, honest.
** This joke here is referring to the Death Cab for Cutie single that plays every 30 minutes.
*** For the musically uneducated these are the bands you hear on the radio and think are Coldplay.