The title for this post is taken from the lyrics of one of my favorite Matt Pond PA songs: "New Hampshire". I've always loved this lyrics despite it's simplicity and (as you'll soon see) it seemed like an appropriate title. But as I began to dwell on this particular lyric, it started to bug me. I get what he's aiming for with this line, that there are certain things you do and say that you can't fix. But, analytically speaking, aren't all things that you do things that cannot be done? I'm mean you can obviously fix situations and apologize for what you said and/or done. But you're not undoing what you've already done, you're just fixing it. Think about how in every romantic comedy the main guy screws up and then spends the rest of the moving atoning for his mistake so that the girl will take him back. In the end she always does, but not because he undid whatever it was that made him lose her in the first place. He merely fixed the problem*. So really, when you think about it, this line is merely stating the obvious, with a degree of untruth in it. That said, I still like this line. I'm a dichotomous individual.
Anyhow, below are a few stories of things I've been apart of or witness that I wish had gone differently, i.e. Things that I've done (or saw) that I'd like to undo (get it?). Let's just move on to the stories before someone makes a "That Thing You Do" pun.
- Let's start with a little 3rd person perspective here. After Lute Olson retired, former recruit Brandon Jennings (goggle him if you don't know the whole story) was quoted in ESPN The Magazine saying "See, I don't look so dumb for not going to Arizona now do I". Actually Brandon you do. The only reason you're currently playing pro ball in Europe is because you couldn't get the SAT grade needed to qualify academically for the U of A. You took the test 3 times and only passed once and the one time you did pass you're score rose so dramatically that everyone was certain you had cheated. So you could only qualify academically by cheating. Considering you get over a third of the points needed to pass just by spelling your name correctly, I say you still look pretty dumb for not going to the U of A. Real effing dumb in fact.
- Ok so that first one had nothing to do with this blogs title, but that quotes been bugging me for awhile and I had to say something. The rest of these actually make sense. Hopefully
- So a few weeks ago I went to see the Crooked Fingers in concert (there music not for everyone, but I personally love them. Probably a little too much). Anyways they put on a tremendous show and all that jazz, but that's not what's important here. What's important is that through at the show I, and everyone I was with, including my sister in-law, kept on noting how beautiful the bassists/violinists/back up vocalist was. As the show began to build towards it's conclusion and while the euphoria was building inside of me, I decided that I was going to talk to her after the show. When the show ended we all went outside to catch are collective breath. As luck would have it, the band came out to meet there to meet their fans and stood about 5 feet away from us. Naturally I stood there frozen and avoided eye contact with the bassist at all costs. After a few minutes the bassist went back inside, walking towards the bar.
I figured this was my chance to seize the moment. I had it all planned out in my head. We meet at the bar, I'd buy her a drink and say something like: "Hi, my name's Calvin. I'm 23 and still live at home and have no plans for my future. I think you're music is rad.". Of course this was going to sweep her off her feet and she would fall head over heels in love with me, so my confidence was riding high. However, she ruined everything and passed the bar and stop at their merchandise table instead. I then chickened out an ducked into the bathroom instead of talking to her. As I stalled in the bathroom I began to regained my compuser. I told myself that I had to talk to her, if for no other reason then to prove to myself that I could do it. Triumphantly I exited the men's room and saw my muse packing up her equipment. So I went up to her and told her: “You guys put on a great show”. She turned around with a pick in her mouth and said thanks for coming out. I then tried to say “Yeah, you guys are great”. I got the first four words out fine, but instead of saying great, I said something “groat”. Mortified by my inability to speak I walked away, head hung low. And that’s why, you don’t fall in love with band chicks
- So I had more to write about, but I’m tired and lazy. Happy Thanksgiving All
Until We Meet Again
* The Back To the Future trilogy is an exception to this rule.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Thursday, November 06, 2008
An Obamanation: A Fistfull of Thoughts on the Election
So the election is finally over, and we have our first (sorta)* black President. Congratulations to Barrack Obama for becoming the Jackie Robinson of the Oval Office.
For those of you who were wondering, I did not vote. The thing is, I actually liked both these candidates before the election started. Then as the compromises started to build on both sides as November neared (I see you Palin), I started to just get sick of both of them. In the end the only reason I could think of to vote for one over the other had to do with the unabridged version of an essay written about McCain for Rolling Stone 8 years ago by a now dead alcoholic (DFW!). So in the end I didn't vote, because I believe you should actually have convictions, or at the very least some motivation, when you vote. Clearly I had neither.
I guess I'm happy for Barrack and I wish him the best of luck, although I highly doubt his Presidency is going to affect me in any real way. Mainly I'm just excited that this thing is over and all those boring people who decided they needed to have an opinion on everything over the past 6 months can go back to having nothing to talk about. What follows will be a brief rundown of my election day** and let me assure you that almost none of it has to do with actual politics.
- Let's get the political stuff out of the way. My favorite this year was 102, which here in Arizona was designed to define marriage as a union between a MAN and WOMAN. What exactly is the purpose of this prop? To make gay marriage even more illegal? I just don't understand this, although the ad campaign for Prop. 102 was pretty hilarious. Anyway, this prop. passed as did a similar one in California. Heterosexuals 1, Gays 0
- The majority of my day was spent at Starbucks, which was an absolute clusterf*ck. The company decided it would be a great idea to give out a free tall cup of coffee, and so the majority of my day looked like this:
Customer: Hey you guys are giving away free drinks to people who voted?
Me: Yeah you can get a free tall coffee, hot or iced.
Customer: What about Frappaccinos?
Me: Um, no. Like I just said a free tall cup of coffee, hot or iced?
Customer: Ah, what about an iced tea or a latte?
Me: Are you serious? I've told you twice in a row now what you get for free. Do I really need to say it a third time?
Customer: Besides the coffee, what else can I get for free?
Me: (Looking around for a blunt object to bludgeon myself with)
Repeat that exchange roughly 375 times and you have my day. I wish I was joking. Here's another exchange I frequently had with customers
Customer: Well my child voted today, can they have a free drink as well ?
Me: Yes, they can have free tall coffee, hot or iced.
Customer: But they're only a kid, they don't drink coffee...
Me: Well I'm sorry, but that's all I can do
Customer: That can't have a free Frappuccino or something?
Me: No, sorry.
Customer: But they're only a kid...
Me: Tell you what, how about I give your child a free pretend beverage of their choice for the pretend election they partook in today.
Ok well I never actually said that last part, but lord knows I wanted to. Now some of you make think I'm over exaggerating, let me assure you I am not. Or perhaps you think I'm a little too angry and cynical about this, but two days have passed since then and I'm still jarred by this whole experience. I can honestly say this was one of the worst days of work I've ever had.
- Another thing that happened to me at work was that I got yelled at by managers and customers alike for asking people who they voted for. Apparently this is taboo, because such information can occasionally cause heated arguments. I guess I can understand that, but then people kept going a step further and telling me that the information is private and very personal. Now this I can't understand. If you do something in a public place and then wear a sticker promoting that you did it, is that thing really that private? I don't know about you, but when something is private in my life, I certainly don't wear a sticker to promote this "private or personal" thing. People also generally don't put a bumper sticker on their car promoting something private. In fact, I go out of my way to keep private things private. There's a reason you don't see people wearing "I'm an alcoholic"*** or "I have marital problems" stickers. It's because these things are truly private, people want to keep them out of the public light. They also don't go around collecting free swag they get for something that's supposable highly private and personal.
- On a closing note, during a rare slow period in my day a woman came in decked out from head to toe in Obama gear. I sarcastically asked her who she was voting for, to which she replied:
"I voted for the man who's gonna change this country"
I sat there for a second debating whether or not to explain to this woman that our government is set up to run off a series of checks and balances, essentially negating the possibility that one person could actually change the country on their own. Instead I just stood there and said: "Wow". Now I'm not very intelligent by any meaning of the word, but the ignorance in this country is truly mind blowing at times.
This woman then proceed to haggle with me about whether or not she could get something other than a tall coffee for her free beverage.
God Bless America
Until We Meet Again
* Technically, dude's 1/6 black, that's all I'm saying.
** Or as some are calling it: Black Tuesday
*** Unless you're in AA
For those of you who were wondering, I did not vote. The thing is, I actually liked both these candidates before the election started. Then as the compromises started to build on both sides as November neared (I see you Palin), I started to just get sick of both of them. In the end the only reason I could think of to vote for one over the other had to do with the unabridged version of an essay written about McCain for Rolling Stone 8 years ago by a now dead alcoholic (DFW!). So in the end I didn't vote, because I believe you should actually have convictions, or at the very least some motivation, when you vote. Clearly I had neither.
I guess I'm happy for Barrack and I wish him the best of luck, although I highly doubt his Presidency is going to affect me in any real way. Mainly I'm just excited that this thing is over and all those boring people who decided they needed to have an opinion on everything over the past 6 months can go back to having nothing to talk about. What follows will be a brief rundown of my election day** and let me assure you that almost none of it has to do with actual politics.
- Let's get the political stuff out of the way. My favorite this year was 102, which here in Arizona was designed to define marriage as a union between a MAN and WOMAN. What exactly is the purpose of this prop? To make gay marriage even more illegal? I just don't understand this, although the ad campaign for Prop. 102 was pretty hilarious. Anyway, this prop. passed as did a similar one in California. Heterosexuals 1, Gays 0
- The majority of my day was spent at Starbucks, which was an absolute clusterf*ck. The company decided it would be a great idea to give out a free tall cup of coffee, and so the majority of my day looked like this:
Customer: Hey you guys are giving away free drinks to people who voted?
Me: Yeah you can get a free tall coffee, hot or iced.
Customer: What about Frappaccinos?
Me: Um, no. Like I just said a free tall cup of coffee, hot or iced?
Customer: Ah, what about an iced tea or a latte?
Me: Are you serious? I've told you twice in a row now what you get for free. Do I really need to say it a third time?
Customer: Besides the coffee, what else can I get for free?
Me: (Looking around for a blunt object to bludgeon myself with)
Repeat that exchange roughly 375 times and you have my day. I wish I was joking. Here's another exchange I frequently had with customers
Customer: Well my child voted today, can they have a free drink as well ?
Me: Yes, they can have free tall coffee, hot or iced.
Customer: But they're only a kid, they don't drink coffee...
Me: Well I'm sorry, but that's all I can do
Customer: That can't have a free Frappuccino or something?
Me: No, sorry.
Customer: But they're only a kid...
Me: Tell you what, how about I give your child a free pretend beverage of their choice for the pretend election they partook in today.
Ok well I never actually said that last part, but lord knows I wanted to. Now some of you make think I'm over exaggerating, let me assure you I am not. Or perhaps you think I'm a little too angry and cynical about this, but two days have passed since then and I'm still jarred by this whole experience. I can honestly say this was one of the worst days of work I've ever had.
- Another thing that happened to me at work was that I got yelled at by managers and customers alike for asking people who they voted for. Apparently this is taboo, because such information can occasionally cause heated arguments. I guess I can understand that, but then people kept going a step further and telling me that the information is private and very personal. Now this I can't understand. If you do something in a public place and then wear a sticker promoting that you did it, is that thing really that private? I don't know about you, but when something is private in my life, I certainly don't wear a sticker to promote this "private or personal" thing. People also generally don't put a bumper sticker on their car promoting something private. In fact, I go out of my way to keep private things private. There's a reason you don't see people wearing "I'm an alcoholic"*** or "I have marital problems" stickers. It's because these things are truly private, people want to keep them out of the public light. They also don't go around collecting free swag they get for something that's supposable highly private and personal.
- On a closing note, during a rare slow period in my day a woman came in decked out from head to toe in Obama gear. I sarcastically asked her who she was voting for, to which she replied:
"I voted for the man who's gonna change this country"
I sat there for a second debating whether or not to explain to this woman that our government is set up to run off a series of checks and balances, essentially negating the possibility that one person could actually change the country on their own. Instead I just stood there and said: "Wow". Now I'm not very intelligent by any meaning of the word, but the ignorance in this country is truly mind blowing at times.
This woman then proceed to haggle with me about whether or not she could get something other than a tall coffee for her free beverage.
God Bless America
Until We Meet Again
* Technically, dude's 1/6 black, that's all I'm saying.
** Or as some are calling it: Black Tuesday
*** Unless you're in AA
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