For today’s post I was going to write some whining emo piece about how I’m tired of the Suns getting jobbed by injuries each year in the playoffs. I wasn’t even going to talk about the loss of Amare (Top 10 player in the league, best finisher in the NBA) or Kurt Thomas (Best interior and help defender, 2nd best rebounder on the team) I was going talk about Raja Bell. Now that Bell is out for the foreseeable future, it looks like the Suns magical post season run is coming to an end. Much like the loss of Joe Johnson last year, Bell’s injury has crippled the Suns. But I’m not going to write about that today. Maybe I’ll finally crack next year when the Suns bow out of the playoffs because of an injury to another key player. But enough about B-ball, let’s move on to something that I hope will be much lighter and happier. Today I’m giving you not one, but two album reviews. And unlike normal reviews, which give you a brief over-arching view of the album, my reviews will be track by track*. Today’s two albums are Mason Jennings’ Boneclouds and Snow Patrol’s Eyes Open. Let’s get started!!!!!
Mason Jennings – Boneclouds
Intro: This is Mason’s first major label release and I’m afraid of two things: 1.) That he will become popular and that every cheese dick in America will start reffering to him by his first name only. Ala Dave, Jack and John. And 2.) That the album will get over hyped and critics will turn on Mason for not delivering. Only time will tell if either of my fears become reality.
Mason Jennings – Boneclouds
Anyhow before we get to the track by track break down I need to get something off my chest: I think this is Mason’s weakest album to date. I could be wrong and this album could be a grower, but right now I think this one’s probably his worst. That said, I also thought Birds Fly Away had only 3 good songs on it at first, and now I love almost every song on the record. And while I feel this is Mason’s weakest album, it’s still very, very good, just not on par with the rest of his work. Anyhow let’s just get on to the track breakdown.
1. Be Here Now - The opening track and first single off this album is vintage Mason, with one exception: They put f*cking reverb on his voice. Now I’m arrogant, but not arrogant enough to claim I could be a better producer the Noah Georson. However I feel very strongly that Maosn’s music leads little to know producing. Espically his voice, which is perfectly unique and beautiful. Also one of Mason’s greatest appeals is his music’s intimacy; his albums feel like he’s playing them to you in your living room. When you start to produce his voice it takes away this great quality. Other then that though this is a terrific song.
2. Gentlest Hammer – Ugh. Another track and another reverbed vocals. For those of you who don’t know what reverb is, it basically makes your voice (or musical instrument, you can put a reveb effect on both) seem echoing. Unlike the first track though, I’m not convinced this song would be any better if you stripped it down. This just isn’t a very strong song, probably one of Mason’s worst. It almost seems like he’s trying to bring himself down to Jack Johnson’s level.
3. If You Ain’t Got Love – A classic Mason love song. In another classic Mason move, this song isn’t really about a woman. Instead it’s about his child who had complications after birth. And yet it’s also about a woman. Mason’s is such a tremendous song writer that he can write a love song about multiple things and still have the song feel completely normal. Other artist would trip all over themselves trying to do this, but Mason does it all the time without it ever hindering his songs. He’ terrific.**
4. Some Say I’m Not – Most critics will point to this song and say how Mason is “branching out from his normal style on this one”. And of course, most reviewers would be wrong. This song, musically has the feel of a southern slave hymn, which means it could fit perfectly on Birds Fly Away. However the song mainly deals with Eastern religion, and the beat does have some eastern influence in it, so I could see how to the simple ear this song would sound like Mason going out of his comfort zone, but it’s not. Also I feel certain this song is a lock to appear in the drug scene of Zach Braff’s next film.
5. Moon Sailing On the Water – This is another classic Mason slow/lullaby esque song. And while I’m very fond of this song, it also is one of the key songs you can point to on how this album is probably Mason’s worst. It’s very good, but not as beautiful or as moving as some of Maosn’s earlier slow songs such as: Train Leaving Gray, Adrian, Darkness Betwwen the Fireflies, Isabel and Ballad of Paul and Shelia.
6. Jackson Square – This is another classic Mason song and this one can hold up against all of his earlier work. In this song Mason tells the story of two lovers who fell out of love and instead of playing each other the narrator of this song blames the place where the falling out happen: Jackson Square. This is my 2nd favorite song on the album.
7. If You Need a Reason – For my money this is the best song on the album. It has Mason’s best opening line since Bullet with “Got so lost that I went to church. Sorry God but you made it worst.”. And almost like a Simpson’s episode you start out thinking it’s a song about religion, but it’s not. Instead is just another love song. And in the end aren’t all of Mason’s songs love songs?
8. Which Way Your Heart Will Go – Another solid slow track, but like Moon Sailing On the Water, it doesn’t live up to Mason’s previous works. This song is to his wife and that’s about all I can think to tell you about this song.
9. Where the Sun Had Been – WTF? That’s probably what every Mason fan thought the first time they heard this song. It’s not that it isn’t good, it just sounds like nothing Mason has ever done before. For starters the song is driven by the synthesizer and bass. Also on this track Mason’s voice has reverb on it, but I don’t mind it here because it works completely with the song. You really have to hear this song to understand what I’m talking about. I’d explain it better, but I’m really lazy.
10. Jesus Are You Real – Emo teeny boppers always talk about how Conor Oberst music is ‘SOOOOO REAL’. If by real they mean overly melodramatic and pretentious as all hell, then I agree. His music is ‘real’. That description of music always pissed me off. So why do I mention it here? Because there’s no better way to describe the last song on this album. In this song Mason just lays out his problems with God. This song feels more intimate then almost any other song he’s ever written. He’s maiking himself completely vunerable, and that’s the beauty of this song. It almost seems like a desperate prayer more then a song.. Either way you look out it it’s still really good and feels real. Anyhow let’s just move on to Snow Patrol’s album before I take my own life for describing a Mason Jennings song the same way 16 year old girls croon about Fevers and Mirrors.
Rating: 8 out of 10
Snow Patrol – Eyes Open
After writing one of the best Brit rock songs of all time with Run and then following it with another great single Chocolate Snow Patrol is back in an attempt to over take the Doves and become the king to Brit Rock***. This is album is pretty much everything you’d expect from Snow Patrol: fun, catchy, poppy and beautiful but lacking in the depth department. Just about every song on this record is beautifully written, semi-predictable, tons of fun, and ultimately forgettable Anyhow enough with all that, let’s break this sucka down, track by track.
1. You’re All I Have – The album gets off to a rocking start with thise little number. This song feels like a combination of the Strokes and Pavement. What that translates into: a great Brit Rock song.
2. Hands Open – This track is the 1st single of the album and is also the albums worst track. It’s pretty much useless outside of the Sufjan Stevens reference midway through. Actually I think it’s more of a shout out then a reference, references tend to be a bit more subtle.
3. Chasing Cars – This is a great Brit Rock**** anthem. And for the life of me I can’t figure out why it’s called Chasing Cars. The song never even mentions cars. This is probably why I’m not a real journalist. A real journalist would have done some leg work and figured out the reason why the song was named what it was. Other reasons I’m not a real journalist include, but are not limited to: a refusal to let go of personal biased when writing, not interesting, a writing style that could best be described as sub par plagiarism. Anyways let’s get back to the song. It’ll probably be the best ‘anthem’ type song to come out this year*****, but it’s not nearly as good as Run or All These Things That I’ve Done by the Killers. This song also has my favorite line of the album: “I need your grace to remind me to find my own”. I like this line, a lot, but feel like it could still be a little better. That’s why I think this line also completely sums up Snow Patrol. It’s good, depending on my mood really good, but not great.
4. Shut Your Eyes – After referencing, or giving a shout out, to Sufjan a few songs earlier here the boys from Snow Patrol make a would be forgettable song interesting by ripping off some harmony lines from Illinois.
5. It’s Beginning to Get to Me – Another song that most music lovers would find to be boring, but not me. For reasons I may never be able to understand, I can’t help but love a song with a great rising and sinking synth line. And wouldn’t you know it this song has one of those. It’s similar, but not as good to the synth rift on Snowden by Doves. Unfortunately this song sounds like it could be a Coldplay song, not a very good sign.
6. You Could Be Happy – My vote for 2nd best song on the album. In the end it will probably end up being by favorite. On this track Gary Lightbody, the bands lead singer, stops trying to write anthems and switchs to twee pop. He makes the change beautifully and writes a song that feels like it should be a lullaby or in a fairytale.
7. Make This Go On Forever – Another uninteresting track, However this one can’t be saved by a Sufjan esque harmony line.
8. Set Fire to the Third Bar – I enjoyed this song because it was out of the ordinary for Snow Patrol. Musically it’s pretty much the same as the rest of the album. But this songs a duet with some women who’s name I’m too lazy to look up. What’s interesting about this song is that the woman’s voice never really meshes with Lightbody’s. Most people will think that’s a knock on the song, but I disagree. I think this makes the song stand out and I feel pretty sure I wouldn’t like this song if the voices did blend perfectly together.
9. Headlights On Dark Roads – Lyrically this song is poor. However it’s still extremely catchy and enjoyable. I’ve always maintained that I could listen to a band with great music and sub par lyrics, which also explains my love affair with the band Travis. Unfortunately for Snow Patrol I can only like them and this song. As it turns out must of my love for Travis comes from nostalgia.
10. Open Your Eyes – This is another tremendous anthem song. I only have two beefs with the song 1.) The opening rift reminds me of By the Way by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and 2.) I realize they’re trying to be simplistic, but couldn’t the chorus have been something more then just constantly repeating “Tell me that you’ll open your eyes.” I’m all for having a constant theme and motif through out an album, but it only works if you give said motif some depth. Otherwise it just seems like you’re being lazy. That said the songs still really catchy, beautiful and enjoyable.
11. The Finish Line – One of the few tracks on the album that can easily be distinguish from most of the others on the first listen. It sounds as if they’re covering one of the last songs of any and every James album. Even the song’s title is similar to one that would close out a James album. Anyhow, as my description should have led you to believe this is a good song.
Rating: 7.3 out of 10
Well that’s all for today. Check back next week when I’ll do a track by track review of the new Dixie Chicks album… Just kidding!!!! I didn’t buy and/or repeatedly listen to that album!!! Ha,ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! (You know in real life when people say true things and try to play it off as a joke and then laugh way to hard trying to convince everyone else they’re joking? Well as it turns out those situations are extremely hard to transfer over into the text format.)
Until We Meet Again
* However my reviews will be just like most reviews in that I will be demeaning and pretentious as all hell.
** As if it wasn’t obvious enough by now I’ll come out and say it anyway: I’d definitely be gay for Mason Jennings.
*** If you wise take the over on times in which I’ll use the phrase “Brit Rock” in this review.
**** I apologize, I’m really unimaginative right now and this is the easy way to describe this type of music.
***** Narrowly edging out “The Adventure” by Angels & Airwaves.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
X-3, e-mail and the Suns
Today’s post is going to be very brief and I’m mainly doing it just to give you guys a quick, but very important, update. Do to an overwhelming response to my “Letters to the Editor” post, in which I made up the questions I answered, I’ve decided to get a new e-mail address. I will now give out this e-mail address and if you have a question you’d like me to answer or a commit or suggestion to leave, feel free to drop me a line. My new e-mail address is: anotherwestcoastmorning@rock.com
And now here’s some quick hitters to tide you over.
- I went and saw “X-Men 3: The Last Stand” last night and was very disappointed. The action sequences were amazing, but the film had little to no story. I can’t prove it, but I think they wrote the script either while they were making the movie or two days prior. I imagine the production meeting went something like this:
***Semi-Spoiler Alert***
“Yeah and then we’ll kill him off. After that they’ll be a huge fight scene and all of a sudden everything will start flying up, because Jean’s all powerful and sh*T. And then we’ll go to slo-mo and Wolverine will save the day somehow, because he can’t die. Yeah let’s go with that.”
***End of Semi-Spolier***
I really don’t think they thought through any of the plot developments in this film. What makes this even worse is this film has almost no plot, it’s just action sequence after action sequence. The film was still very enjoyable, but it should have been a lot better. It never earned any of the great fight scenes and the parts of the movie that were suppose to be emotional weren’t at all because there was absolutely no character development at all. Really this movie was just like a video game, great action, very entertaining but no real substance.
- I think the Phoenix Suns are the closest thing to Mid-Major that I’ve ever seen at the NBA level. They’re winning entirely on heart. Skill has a little bit to do with it, but this team has absolutely no right to beat anyone. Yes they’ve caught their shares of lucky breaks, such as the Tim Thomas signing or the Clippers not giving Elton Brand a touch every time down the floor, but even then they have no right to still be playing, let alone up 1 game in the Western Conference Finals. What’s even more perplexing is the fact that they’re winning the games that the teams I root for always seem to lose.
Take game 1 against the Mavs, the Suns control the game for 3 quarters, gave up the lead late, mounted a come back just to tease me, and then let Devin Harris, whose jump shot maybe worse then my own* hit an 18 footer with 4.8 seconds left. I was absolutely thrilled when I saw Harris taking the Mavs last shot. Harris had a great game but, as noted above, he’s a poor jump shooter. It was exactly the shots the Suns wanted Dallas to take, and Nash even got a hand in his face. Of course since I’m rooting for the Suns Harris’s shot barely touched the rim on its way through the net. I was completely deject and thought right then and there about calling in sick to work. But then, as it has all post-season for the Suns, someone came through with a miracle for the Suns when they seemed down and out. Boris Diaw, Boris freaking Diaw hit a fall away, turn around 10 footer with .5 seconds left to win the game for the Suns. At that point I was wondering how Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon, circa 1994 had come into the game for the Suns. I’m mean honestly this was Boris Diaw, He was playing the game of his life, but to hit a fall away jumper with little to no time left and the game on the line, that’s ridiculous. Before this game Diaw was probably one of the last people I’d want taking a shot with the game on the line, regardless of how well he’s playing. Now I feel like he deserves the ball every time. I realize all this is irrational and crazy, but so is this Suns team. This team has lost huge leads, been jobbed by the refs, hit 3’s falling out of bounds to tie the game with a second left and won in double over-time. And that was just game 5 of the Clippers series. The Suns could sweep the Mavs, lose the next 4 games, score 200 points in regulation or when a game on a granny shot from half court by Pat Burke and none of this would surprise me. I don’t know what’s going to happen the rest of the post-season, but I feel confident the Suns can no longer surprise me. I mean honestly, how can they top the last 15 games?
Until We Meet Again
* This is more of a knock on Harris’s piss poor jumper then it is me crediting my ‘streaky at best’ jumper.
And now here’s some quick hitters to tide you over.
- I went and saw “X-Men 3: The Last Stand” last night and was very disappointed. The action sequences were amazing, but the film had little to no story. I can’t prove it, but I think they wrote the script either while they were making the movie or two days prior. I imagine the production meeting went something like this:
***Semi-Spoiler Alert***
“Yeah and then we’ll kill him off. After that they’ll be a huge fight scene and all of a sudden everything will start flying up, because Jean’s all powerful and sh*T. And then we’ll go to slo-mo and Wolverine will save the day somehow, because he can’t die. Yeah let’s go with that.”
***End of Semi-Spolier***
I really don’t think they thought through any of the plot developments in this film. What makes this even worse is this film has almost no plot, it’s just action sequence after action sequence. The film was still very enjoyable, but it should have been a lot better. It never earned any of the great fight scenes and the parts of the movie that were suppose to be emotional weren’t at all because there was absolutely no character development at all. Really this movie was just like a video game, great action, very entertaining but no real substance.
- I think the Phoenix Suns are the closest thing to Mid-Major that I’ve ever seen at the NBA level. They’re winning entirely on heart. Skill has a little bit to do with it, but this team has absolutely no right to beat anyone. Yes they’ve caught their shares of lucky breaks, such as the Tim Thomas signing or the Clippers not giving Elton Brand a touch every time down the floor, but even then they have no right to still be playing, let alone up 1 game in the Western Conference Finals. What’s even more perplexing is the fact that they’re winning the games that the teams I root for always seem to lose.
Take game 1 against the Mavs, the Suns control the game for 3 quarters, gave up the lead late, mounted a come back just to tease me, and then let Devin Harris, whose jump shot maybe worse then my own* hit an 18 footer with 4.8 seconds left. I was absolutely thrilled when I saw Harris taking the Mavs last shot. Harris had a great game but, as noted above, he’s a poor jump shooter. It was exactly the shots the Suns wanted Dallas to take, and Nash even got a hand in his face. Of course since I’m rooting for the Suns Harris’s shot barely touched the rim on its way through the net. I was completely deject and thought right then and there about calling in sick to work. But then, as it has all post-season for the Suns, someone came through with a miracle for the Suns when they seemed down and out. Boris Diaw, Boris freaking Diaw hit a fall away, turn around 10 footer with .5 seconds left to win the game for the Suns. At that point I was wondering how Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon, circa 1994 had come into the game for the Suns. I’m mean honestly this was Boris Diaw, He was playing the game of his life, but to hit a fall away jumper with little to no time left and the game on the line, that’s ridiculous. Before this game Diaw was probably one of the last people I’d want taking a shot with the game on the line, regardless of how well he’s playing. Now I feel like he deserves the ball every time. I realize all this is irrational and crazy, but so is this Suns team. This team has lost huge leads, been jobbed by the refs, hit 3’s falling out of bounds to tie the game with a second left and won in double over-time. And that was just game 5 of the Clippers series. The Suns could sweep the Mavs, lose the next 4 games, score 200 points in regulation or when a game on a granny shot from half court by Pat Burke and none of this would surprise me. I don’t know what’s going to happen the rest of the post-season, but I feel confident the Suns can no longer surprise me. I mean honestly, how can they top the last 15 games?
Until We Meet Again
* This is more of a knock on Harris’s piss poor jumper then it is me crediting my ‘streaky at best’ jumper.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
We Are Epic: A Running Diary of the Day in Sports for 5/17/06
For those of you who were asleep at the wheel, yesterday was one of the best days in sports that I’ve ever witnessed. You had The Champions League Final (UEFA) and then two pivotal game 5’s in the NBA playoffs, including the defending champion Spurs playing for their post season lives. And if that wasn’t enough there was a full slate of MLB games, including my D-Backs trying to sweep their divisional rivals San Diego Padres and take a game and a half lead in the NL West. All in all we were set up for a massive day in sports, and it delivered, in a very big way. I kept a running diary of what transpired, although it should be noted I did this after I had watched everything an not during, so this maybe a bit choppy and sub par, but this great day in sports badly needs to be documented. Will start with the UEFA Championship game between FC Barcelona and Arsenal FC.
Barcelona v. Arsenal:
- I’ve been pumped about this game for some time, it’s the perfect appetizer to the world cup, which I’ve been a little to excited for. Seriously, I get chills every time I see Gatorade’s Team USA commercial and I even get goose bumps during the commercials that that sh*t eater Bono narrated. Needless to say I was ready for some soccer.
- For those of you who don’t know anything about this game allow me to give you a brief synopsis: This is the championship game (obviously) of a league that involves the top club teams in Europe. The game is a big draw because it features two of the worlds best strikers (forwards for those of you who don’t know soccer lingo) in Ronaldino of Barcelona (who plays for the Brazilian National Team) and Henry of Arsenal (who plays for France). It also involves the man who just maybe the ugliest human being of all time (also Ronaldino)*.
- 3 minutes into the game Henry makes a beautiful touch to get himself free in the box, unfortunately his next touch is less then stellar and he’s unable to get a clean shot off and the Barcelona (Bar for short) goalie makes an easy safe. This sequence leads me to remark: “Arsenal shore came out of the gates quicker.” I then look around and realize I’m watching the game by myself.
- 18 minutes in and Ronaldino finally gets his first touch. He plays the ball pass the defensive line to fellow striker Eto’o who gets by the keeper and is promptly tripped up, leading to the keeper getting a red card and forcing Arsenal to play a man down for the remainder of the match.
- Watching the back up keeper come in and realizing that Arsenal is a man down I make a mental note that Barcelona will now dominate the game and that I woke at 11 for nothing.
- No less then 20 minutes later Arsenal has brilliantly packed in and are fairing pretty well on their counter attacks. In the 37th minute Arsenal was awarded a free kick and Henry found Sol Campbell who put an amazing header in the lower left corner as Arsenal goes up 1-nil. In related news I know nothing about soccer.
- In the 2nd half Barcelona completely controls the game and is getting endless scoring opportunities. It’s only a matter of time before they break through.
- In the 76th minute Arsenal’s heroic defense finally breaks down as sub Henrik Larrson plays a touch pass to Eto’o who gets a 1-on-1 with the keeper and plays it pass him. The scores is now tied at 1-1 and it Barcelona has all the momentum.
- It should be noted that in Fifa World Cup ’98 for the Nintendo 64 Henrik Larrson and I lead the Swedish National Team to a thrilling World Cup victory. We defeated the Brazilians in the finals.
- Five minutes later Larrson breaks past the defense and plays a beautiful pass to the streaking midfielder Belletti who’s shot ricochets of the inside of the Arsenal keepers’ leg and into the goal. 83% of England has just been put on suicide watch.
- Barcelona holds on for a 2-1 victory, as Arsenal fans get one hell of a stomach punch game. The post game celebration is filled with a lot of hugging and close ups of Ronaldino forcing me to change the channel to Date My Mom.**
- All in all this was a great match that I’m certain was butchered by my shoddy recap. Let’s just move on.
Cavilers V. Pistons, Game 5:
- I was out running some errands when I get a phone call from my brother Max who informs me that Clevland is up 5 at half time and some kid name LeBron James has 18 points.
- I get home just in time to see the final half of the 3rd quarter. The Pistons have made their run to get back into the game, but The Cavs answer as Flip Murray hits a jumper at the buzzer to put Cleveland up by 2.
- It’s not so much the Cavs as it King James, he’s good. LeBron drives into the lane and is triple teamed yet he still finishes a shot to kept the Cavs in front.
- As the game winds down Chauncey Billups starts to loose his head. Not only is he forcing up bad shots, but he refuses to acknowledge the fact that Mcdyess, Rip Hamilton and Tayshun Prince are scoring a lot more effectively and easily then he is.
- Billups commits three fouls in about a 3 minute span and fouls out. He may have just cost his team the game. Can someone please tell me how this guy was an MVP candidate? Anyone?
- LeBron has often said that he doesn’t believe in ‘presure’ moments. With the game tied and under 2 minutes to play he drives by Price and then puts in a left handed floater over Ben Wallace. This play ignites a round of “Oh Sh*t” from all those viewing at the Paradise household.
- With the game tied and under a minute left LeBron proves he’s the anti-Kobe by passing out of the double team to set up Drew Gooden for the go ahead lay up.
- Flip Saunders for some reason leaves Ben Wallace in the game instead of going with ‘Sheed whose on the bench. Because of this Donyell Marshall is able to come over and help on Prince’s drive and he gets a block. Lindsey Hunter, who holds the record for worst field goal percentage in the shot clock era as well as having a girls first name grabs the rejection and quickly bricks a shot. Eric Snow then grabs the ball and does his best Jerry Stackhouse impression as he hurls the the other end of the court where the Pistons run it down and call a TO with 1.9 seconds, apparently the idea of trying to seal the win at the line was a little too much for him.
- Rip Hamilton brings a solid close to the Pistons choke job as he fails to get off a shot on the ensuing inbounds play.
- Just a really solid game, the Cavs have now won 3 in a row which raises an interesting question: If Larry Hughes brother had died at the beginning of the playoffs would the Cavs have lost a single game?***
We’ve already had two great games, not to mention a plethora of great baseball games and we still have the Spurs facing elimination. Let’s go to the days great finale.
Spurs v. Mavericks, Game 5:
- Tony Parker gets off to a quick start driving in to the lane and hitting some nice floaters. Parkers new thing is to start the games off strong and then not show up in the 2nd half. He’s fast becoming the Chris Webber of guards.
- Just a tremendous basketball game, too much going on to evner try and break it down here. Here’s a brief synopsis of this game: Tim Duncan made all 11 of his first half shots, Dirk got a fast break dunk to end the half tying the score.
- We quickly check in on the D-Backs who have given up 10 runs in 2 innings, I guess we can write off the sweep.
- How does Tim Duncan not win the MVP every year? He’s the best power forward of all-time, his teams are always top 4 in the league and he’s only got one other player on his team who can create his own shot (Ginobli) and he’s sporadic as all hell. And I know what you’re thinking” But what about Parker???? Well first off Tony gets almost all his points of the pick and roll, especially when big men switch on to him. He also scores a lot because no big man is going to help off Duncan. And despite all of this he still falls apart in the clutch, not to mention the absolute tooling Devin Harris is giving him. Say it with me now: OVERATTED!!!
- Kobe is a guest in the TNT studio tonight, and you’re telling me this day isn’t already epic enough? Unfortunately no one brings up Raja and they allow Kobe to dance around the fact that he quit on his team. Charles and Co. don’t harass Kobe nearly enough, but all in all this was great television.
- My fatness gets the better of me as I skip the start of the 3rd quarter to go Dairy Queen. Surrounded by a horde of white trash I order a dip cone, and it was delicious.
- All right I’m fading fast, let’s get this over with quickly.
- Michael Finley raises up and yacks on Eric Dampier like Dampier had just killer his first born. Just an unbelievable dunk, even more amazing when you consider how awful Finley looked the past couple post seasons in Dallas. I didn’t even know he could still dunk.
- The D-Backs score 8 runs in the 6th to pull with in one, and all of a sudden we’ve got a serious toggle option here.
- The Spurs are up 5 with under 3 to go and in complete control pf the game, but the way this series has gone you just know they’ll do something to let the Mavs back in this one.
- On que C-Webb… er… I mean Parker turns the ball over and Dirk races down and nails the fast break 3, tie game. Dirks follows the 3 by trying to do the Shaq esque below the radar run down court. So one needs to tell Dirk that he’ll never look bad ass. And while they’re at it they should also explain that the only thing he’ll ever come off as is a cheesy villain in some PG movie.
- The teams then trade baskets and then with under 2 minutes left Ginobli sinks one of two free throws to put the Spurs up one. Both teams then bunker down on and neither can find a way to score. Predictably Parker makes a great move to lose his man only to miss a wide open lay up, somewhere C-Webb tries to telepathically tell Parker to just start hiding from the ball.
- Under a 30 seconds left and both teams are steadfastly refusing to score. Dirk finally breaks free for a free throw line jumper, but he’s blocked by Bowen and one of the best defensive plays I’ve ever see.
- The Padres put 3 insurance run in the 7th and the game is effectively over, still pretty entertaining from what I saw though.
- In the final 6.5 seconds they’re were two jump balls, the Mavs won both.
- Down one with 2.4 seconds left Jason Terry misses a fade away jumper by about a foot. It falls perfectly to Dirk who tries to hot potato into the hoop but misses badly, especially for an uncontested 2 footer. The Spurs survive in what is fast becoming one of the greatest series of all-time.
I know I didn’t fully capture it, mainly because I got tired there towards the end, but this was a great day in sports, one of the best of my life time. And now I’m going to go to bed so I have some energy left to root on Raja and the Suns tonight. Peace.
Until We Meet Again.
* Although it should also be noted that Ronaldino is currently the best soccer player playing, this is evidence by the fact the he’s the two-time FIFA Player of the Year.
** Ok I probably would have done this anyway. But that doesn’t take away from the fact the Ronaldino looks like the love child of Satan and Dracula.
*** I’m probably going to hell just for thinking this, let alone typing it. But as Alan Alda once said comedy = tragedy + time.
Barcelona v. Arsenal:
- I’ve been pumped about this game for some time, it’s the perfect appetizer to the world cup, which I’ve been a little to excited for. Seriously, I get chills every time I see Gatorade’s Team USA commercial and I even get goose bumps during the commercials that that sh*t eater Bono narrated. Needless to say I was ready for some soccer.
- For those of you who don’t know anything about this game allow me to give you a brief synopsis: This is the championship game (obviously) of a league that involves the top club teams in Europe. The game is a big draw because it features two of the worlds best strikers (forwards for those of you who don’t know soccer lingo) in Ronaldino of Barcelona (who plays for the Brazilian National Team) and Henry of Arsenal (who plays for France). It also involves the man who just maybe the ugliest human being of all time (also Ronaldino)*.
- 3 minutes into the game Henry makes a beautiful touch to get himself free in the box, unfortunately his next touch is less then stellar and he’s unable to get a clean shot off and the Barcelona (Bar for short) goalie makes an easy safe. This sequence leads me to remark: “Arsenal shore came out of the gates quicker.” I then look around and realize I’m watching the game by myself.
- 18 minutes in and Ronaldino finally gets his first touch. He plays the ball pass the defensive line to fellow striker Eto’o who gets by the keeper and is promptly tripped up, leading to the keeper getting a red card and forcing Arsenal to play a man down for the remainder of the match.
- Watching the back up keeper come in and realizing that Arsenal is a man down I make a mental note that Barcelona will now dominate the game and that I woke at 11 for nothing.
- No less then 20 minutes later Arsenal has brilliantly packed in and are fairing pretty well on their counter attacks. In the 37th minute Arsenal was awarded a free kick and Henry found Sol Campbell who put an amazing header in the lower left corner as Arsenal goes up 1-nil. In related news I know nothing about soccer.
- In the 2nd half Barcelona completely controls the game and is getting endless scoring opportunities. It’s only a matter of time before they break through.
- In the 76th minute Arsenal’s heroic defense finally breaks down as sub Henrik Larrson plays a touch pass to Eto’o who gets a 1-on-1 with the keeper and plays it pass him. The scores is now tied at 1-1 and it Barcelona has all the momentum.
- It should be noted that in Fifa World Cup ’98 for the Nintendo 64 Henrik Larrson and I lead the Swedish National Team to a thrilling World Cup victory. We defeated the Brazilians in the finals.
- Five minutes later Larrson breaks past the defense and plays a beautiful pass to the streaking midfielder Belletti who’s shot ricochets of the inside of the Arsenal keepers’ leg and into the goal. 83% of England has just been put on suicide watch.
- Barcelona holds on for a 2-1 victory, as Arsenal fans get one hell of a stomach punch game. The post game celebration is filled with a lot of hugging and close ups of Ronaldino forcing me to change the channel to Date My Mom.**
- All in all this was a great match that I’m certain was butchered by my shoddy recap. Let’s just move on.
Cavilers V. Pistons, Game 5:
- I was out running some errands when I get a phone call from my brother Max who informs me that Clevland is up 5 at half time and some kid name LeBron James has 18 points.
- I get home just in time to see the final half of the 3rd quarter. The Pistons have made their run to get back into the game, but The Cavs answer as Flip Murray hits a jumper at the buzzer to put Cleveland up by 2.
- It’s not so much the Cavs as it King James, he’s good. LeBron drives into the lane and is triple teamed yet he still finishes a shot to kept the Cavs in front.
- As the game winds down Chauncey Billups starts to loose his head. Not only is he forcing up bad shots, but he refuses to acknowledge the fact that Mcdyess, Rip Hamilton and Tayshun Prince are scoring a lot more effectively and easily then he is.
- Billups commits three fouls in about a 3 minute span and fouls out. He may have just cost his team the game. Can someone please tell me how this guy was an MVP candidate? Anyone?
- LeBron has often said that he doesn’t believe in ‘presure’ moments. With the game tied and under 2 minutes to play he drives by Price and then puts in a left handed floater over Ben Wallace. This play ignites a round of “Oh Sh*t” from all those viewing at the Paradise household.
- With the game tied and under a minute left LeBron proves he’s the anti-Kobe by passing out of the double team to set up Drew Gooden for the go ahead lay up.
- Flip Saunders for some reason leaves Ben Wallace in the game instead of going with ‘Sheed whose on the bench. Because of this Donyell Marshall is able to come over and help on Prince’s drive and he gets a block. Lindsey Hunter, who holds the record for worst field goal percentage in the shot clock era as well as having a girls first name grabs the rejection and quickly bricks a shot. Eric Snow then grabs the ball and does his best Jerry Stackhouse impression as he hurls the the other end of the court where the Pistons run it down and call a TO with 1.9 seconds, apparently the idea of trying to seal the win at the line was a little too much for him.
- Rip Hamilton brings a solid close to the Pistons choke job as he fails to get off a shot on the ensuing inbounds play.
- Just a really solid game, the Cavs have now won 3 in a row which raises an interesting question: If Larry Hughes brother had died at the beginning of the playoffs would the Cavs have lost a single game?***
We’ve already had two great games, not to mention a plethora of great baseball games and we still have the Spurs facing elimination. Let’s go to the days great finale.
Spurs v. Mavericks, Game 5:
- Tony Parker gets off to a quick start driving in to the lane and hitting some nice floaters. Parkers new thing is to start the games off strong and then not show up in the 2nd half. He’s fast becoming the Chris Webber of guards.
- Just a tremendous basketball game, too much going on to evner try and break it down here. Here’s a brief synopsis of this game: Tim Duncan made all 11 of his first half shots, Dirk got a fast break dunk to end the half tying the score.
- We quickly check in on the D-Backs who have given up 10 runs in 2 innings, I guess we can write off the sweep.
- How does Tim Duncan not win the MVP every year? He’s the best power forward of all-time, his teams are always top 4 in the league and he’s only got one other player on his team who can create his own shot (Ginobli) and he’s sporadic as all hell. And I know what you’re thinking” But what about Parker???? Well first off Tony gets almost all his points of the pick and roll, especially when big men switch on to him. He also scores a lot because no big man is going to help off Duncan. And despite all of this he still falls apart in the clutch, not to mention the absolute tooling Devin Harris is giving him. Say it with me now: OVERATTED!!!
- Kobe is a guest in the TNT studio tonight, and you’re telling me this day isn’t already epic enough? Unfortunately no one brings up Raja and they allow Kobe to dance around the fact that he quit on his team. Charles and Co. don’t harass Kobe nearly enough, but all in all this was great television.
- My fatness gets the better of me as I skip the start of the 3rd quarter to go Dairy Queen. Surrounded by a horde of white trash I order a dip cone, and it was delicious.
- All right I’m fading fast, let’s get this over with quickly.
- Michael Finley raises up and yacks on Eric Dampier like Dampier had just killer his first born. Just an unbelievable dunk, even more amazing when you consider how awful Finley looked the past couple post seasons in Dallas. I didn’t even know he could still dunk.
- The D-Backs score 8 runs in the 6th to pull with in one, and all of a sudden we’ve got a serious toggle option here.
- The Spurs are up 5 with under 3 to go and in complete control pf the game, but the way this series has gone you just know they’ll do something to let the Mavs back in this one.
- On que C-Webb… er… I mean Parker turns the ball over and Dirk races down and nails the fast break 3, tie game. Dirks follows the 3 by trying to do the Shaq esque below the radar run down court. So one needs to tell Dirk that he’ll never look bad ass. And while they’re at it they should also explain that the only thing he’ll ever come off as is a cheesy villain in some PG movie.
- The teams then trade baskets and then with under 2 minutes left Ginobli sinks one of two free throws to put the Spurs up one. Both teams then bunker down on and neither can find a way to score. Predictably Parker makes a great move to lose his man only to miss a wide open lay up, somewhere C-Webb tries to telepathically tell Parker to just start hiding from the ball.
- Under a 30 seconds left and both teams are steadfastly refusing to score. Dirk finally breaks free for a free throw line jumper, but he’s blocked by Bowen and one of the best defensive plays I’ve ever see.
- The Padres put 3 insurance run in the 7th and the game is effectively over, still pretty entertaining from what I saw though.
- In the final 6.5 seconds they’re were two jump balls, the Mavs won both.
- Down one with 2.4 seconds left Jason Terry misses a fade away jumper by about a foot. It falls perfectly to Dirk who tries to hot potato into the hoop but misses badly, especially for an uncontested 2 footer. The Spurs survive in what is fast becoming one of the greatest series of all-time.
I know I didn’t fully capture it, mainly because I got tired there towards the end, but this was a great day in sports, one of the best of my life time. And now I’m going to go to bed so I have some energy left to root on Raja and the Suns tonight. Peace.
Until We Meet Again.
* Although it should also be noted that Ronaldino is currently the best soccer player playing, this is evidence by the fact the he’s the two-time FIFA Player of the Year.
** Ok I probably would have done this anyway. But that doesn’t take away from the fact the Ronaldino looks like the love child of Satan and Dracula.
*** I’m probably going to hell just for thinking this, let alone typing it. But as Alan Alda once said comedy = tragedy + time.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Fix You/It
Time again for yet another new gimmick that I’ll probably never use again, this one’s called fix you/it. And yes it’s a Coldplay reference, and yes I’m embarrassed, but I think it works. And besides Coldplay’s not all bad, I mean they did point out to us that the stars are in fact yellow*. Anyhow, below you’ll find a list of broken things and my advice on how to fix them. Well enough with the foreplay, let’s jump right in.
Sports Center:
- Lets be honest, this show is just slipping, it’s plummeting off it’s pedigree. The show has become more gimmicky then my blog. Each months there’s less and less high lights and more and more analysis and topical pieces. Sports Center should be about highlights, save analysis for Outside the Lines and NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB, ect, ect, Tonight and what not. Honestly the only time and issue should have analysis is if it’s truly a ground breaking, larger then life story. And worst the show should be 85% highlights and 15% analysis. Right now it seems as if there’s more analysis then highlights, which is just plain wrong.
- No more Stuart Scott. His lazy eye creeps everyone out, he’s not funny and the only people who like him are rich white kids who have never come in contact with an actual black person. Do us all a favor and put “Stu” out to pasture.
- And finally if you insist on having analysis please teach your side reporters how to speak. I personally cringe every time they throw it some writer for ESPN the Mag or ESPN.com. I cringe because A.) This person generally looks like they’re about to sh*t themselves because they’ve never been on TV before and B.) Every single one of these people talks to the camera as if he’s addressing a kinder garden class. It’s just so damn awkward. Please, teach these people how to talk before you let them on TV, I don’t think that’s asking to much.
Radio Music: (This category is awkwardly phrased.)
- This maybe asking to much, but can the Soul not Meet Body every half hour?**
- Stop trying to portray James Blunt and Nickleback as actual artists. List James Blunt is a huge joke. His lyrics are beyond atrocious and it sounds like he’s trying to sound like Aaron Nevil covering Maroon 5 songs. And as for Nickleback, well there first to single were exactly the same, literally. If you haven’t heard the mash up of ‘How You Remind Me’ and ‘Someday’, in which the songs line up perfectly, the whole way though, then you might not no what I’m talking about. But just trust me.
- Diversity. Just like a good portfolio, mainstream music needs this in the worst way. I mean do we really need 50 pop punk bands posing as limp-wrist core bands? Can anyone actually tell the difference between Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, All-American Rejects, Good Charlotte, Hawthorne Heights and the 40 other bands that all have the exact same sound? The answer is of course no. And we won’t even go into the multiple U2/Radiohead rip offs***.
- Originality. I could on forever on this, let’s just move on.
The Daily Show:
- Jon Stewart, for the love of gawd start taking yourself less seriously. You use to be funny, and now you appear as if you’re running for office in ’08. No matter how hard you try your show isn’t going to get Bush impeached, so just concentrate on being funny. Trust me it’s for the best.
- New Side Reporters. It’s pretty obvious that the shows writers are still funny, but the show has yet to recover from losing Mo Rocca and the Steves. And the group that has replaced them is about as humorous as Larry the Cable Guy and Paul Rodriguez. And if you think either of those men are famous please stop reading my blog.
- Stop being so damn preachy. Maybe it’s because I tune it to the show for humor and not to get my opinion from it, but lately the show has been extremely pretentious, listen I’m pretty sure your sh*t smells to. Or maybe it doesn’t, but it sure seems like it does.
Nick and Jessica:
- Listen I loved ‘Newlyweds’ just as much as everyone else, but I feel strongly that this situation doesn’t need fixing. My reasoning for this: I’ve fallen head over heals for Nick’s new single “What’s Left of Me”. And no, I’m not joking. I really like that song.
NBA Refs:
- Start listening to Mark Cuban. While his views are a little extreme, with a little tweaking they would be just what the league ordered. If you haven’t read his take on reffing in the playoffs yet go here: www.blogmaverick.com
- Consistency. This is all you can ask a ref for, is to be consistent. Instead one play the refs will call a player for a foul if he’s with in three feet of his man, then on the next they want call a foul unless someone gets tackled. Have some sort of guide line and stop flying by the seat of your pants out there, you’re embarrassing yourself.
- Let the big men play. I’m sick and tired of seeing tick tack fouls called on big men. I the offense player initiates any contact he’s going to the line, which is BS. I know the NBA wants scoring up, but at least give the defensive player a chance, especially in the playoffs.
- Remember, it’s not about you. Let the players decide the game. I’ve seen to many great games ruined by the refs this postseason. The prime example was the Spurs-Mavs game 3 on Saturday. Dirk, as good as he was, got a call every time he drove, irregardless of what the Spurs defense did. They fouled Tim Duncan out, who was proving once again why he’s the best player in the game, on an awful call and made sure that Dallas would have a chance to win the game at the line. Is it to much to ask for a good post season game in which I don’t have to talk about the refs afterward? Seriously, I just want to see the players determine the outcome of the game,
unassisted.
My Blog:
- Editing. Seriously this thing is so damn sloppy, the least I could do is spell check.
- Drop the ego. Most of the time I come off like a pragmatic, egocentrical a-hole. My posts would probably be a lot more readable if I had a little bit of humility.
- Branching out. Let’s face it, I’m really not that diverse. I only have opinions about sports, music, TV/Movies and every now and then video games. My blog would probably be better if I was interesting.
Well that’s it for now. Hopefully that will sustain you for sometime, because I’m pretty winded after all that typing. Stay pure readers.
Until We Meet Again.
* With apologies to Chuck Klosterman. I meant that more as a reference then blatant plagerism, honest.
** This joke here is referring to the Death Cab for Cutie single that plays every 30 minutes.
*** For the musically uneducated these are the bands you hear on the radio and think are Coldplay.
Sports Center:
- Lets be honest, this show is just slipping, it’s plummeting off it’s pedigree. The show has become more gimmicky then my blog. Each months there’s less and less high lights and more and more analysis and topical pieces. Sports Center should be about highlights, save analysis for Outside the Lines and NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB, ect, ect, Tonight and what not. Honestly the only time and issue should have analysis is if it’s truly a ground breaking, larger then life story. And worst the show should be 85% highlights and 15% analysis. Right now it seems as if there’s more analysis then highlights, which is just plain wrong.
- No more Stuart Scott. His lazy eye creeps everyone out, he’s not funny and the only people who like him are rich white kids who have never come in contact with an actual black person. Do us all a favor and put “Stu” out to pasture.
- And finally if you insist on having analysis please teach your side reporters how to speak. I personally cringe every time they throw it some writer for ESPN the Mag or ESPN.com. I cringe because A.) This person generally looks like they’re about to sh*t themselves because they’ve never been on TV before and B.) Every single one of these people talks to the camera as if he’s addressing a kinder garden class. It’s just so damn awkward. Please, teach these people how to talk before you let them on TV, I don’t think that’s asking to much.
Radio Music: (This category is awkwardly phrased.)
- This maybe asking to much, but can the Soul not Meet Body every half hour?**
- Stop trying to portray James Blunt and Nickleback as actual artists. List James Blunt is a huge joke. His lyrics are beyond atrocious and it sounds like he’s trying to sound like Aaron Nevil covering Maroon 5 songs. And as for Nickleback, well there first to single were exactly the same, literally. If you haven’t heard the mash up of ‘How You Remind Me’ and ‘Someday’, in which the songs line up perfectly, the whole way though, then you might not no what I’m talking about. But just trust me.
- Diversity. Just like a good portfolio, mainstream music needs this in the worst way. I mean do we really need 50 pop punk bands posing as limp-wrist core bands? Can anyone actually tell the difference between Fall Out Boy, Panic at the Disco, All-American Rejects, Good Charlotte, Hawthorne Heights and the 40 other bands that all have the exact same sound? The answer is of course no. And we won’t even go into the multiple U2/Radiohead rip offs***.
- Originality. I could on forever on this, let’s just move on.
The Daily Show:
- Jon Stewart, for the love of gawd start taking yourself less seriously. You use to be funny, and now you appear as if you’re running for office in ’08. No matter how hard you try your show isn’t going to get Bush impeached, so just concentrate on being funny. Trust me it’s for the best.
- New Side Reporters. It’s pretty obvious that the shows writers are still funny, but the show has yet to recover from losing Mo Rocca and the Steves. And the group that has replaced them is about as humorous as Larry the Cable Guy and Paul Rodriguez. And if you think either of those men are famous please stop reading my blog.
- Stop being so damn preachy. Maybe it’s because I tune it to the show for humor and not to get my opinion from it, but lately the show has been extremely pretentious, listen I’m pretty sure your sh*t smells to. Or maybe it doesn’t, but it sure seems like it does.
Nick and Jessica:
- Listen I loved ‘Newlyweds’ just as much as everyone else, but I feel strongly that this situation doesn’t need fixing. My reasoning for this: I’ve fallen head over heals for Nick’s new single “What’s Left of Me”. And no, I’m not joking. I really like that song.
NBA Refs:
- Start listening to Mark Cuban. While his views are a little extreme, with a little tweaking they would be just what the league ordered. If you haven’t read his take on reffing in the playoffs yet go here: www.blogmaverick.com
- Consistency. This is all you can ask a ref for, is to be consistent. Instead one play the refs will call a player for a foul if he’s with in three feet of his man, then on the next they want call a foul unless someone gets tackled. Have some sort of guide line and stop flying by the seat of your pants out there, you’re embarrassing yourself.
- Let the big men play. I’m sick and tired of seeing tick tack fouls called on big men. I the offense player initiates any contact he’s going to the line, which is BS. I know the NBA wants scoring up, but at least give the defensive player a chance, especially in the playoffs.
- Remember, it’s not about you. Let the players decide the game. I’ve seen to many great games ruined by the refs this postseason. The prime example was the Spurs-Mavs game 3 on Saturday. Dirk, as good as he was, got a call every time he drove, irregardless of what the Spurs defense did. They fouled Tim Duncan out, who was proving once again why he’s the best player in the game, on an awful call and made sure that Dallas would have a chance to win the game at the line. Is it to much to ask for a good post season game in which I don’t have to talk about the refs afterward? Seriously, I just want to see the players determine the outcome of the game,
unassisted.
My Blog:
- Editing. Seriously this thing is so damn sloppy, the least I could do is spell check.
- Drop the ego. Most of the time I come off like a pragmatic, egocentrical a-hole. My posts would probably be a lot more readable if I had a little bit of humility.
- Branching out. Let’s face it, I’m really not that diverse. I only have opinions about sports, music, TV/Movies and every now and then video games. My blog would probably be better if I was interesting.
Well that’s it for now. Hopefully that will sustain you for sometime, because I’m pretty winded after all that typing. Stay pure readers.
Until We Meet Again.
* With apologies to Chuck Klosterman. I meant that more as a reference then blatant plagerism, honest.
** This joke here is referring to the Death Cab for Cutie single that plays every 30 minutes.
*** For the musically uneducated these are the bands you hear on the radio and think are Coldplay.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
The Rasheed Wallace of Loews Ventana Canyon Resort
CTC. Cut the check. How could any of us forget the once infamous words of ‘Sheed telling the world that the only thing that mattered to him was getting paid. I know I can’t. Rasheed said this back when he was playing for the Portland Trailblazers, mere months away from being shipped to Detroit via hotlanta. And just look at him now, he’s the X-Factor, toughest match up and arguably the best player on the best team in the league. So what does all this have to do with you and me? Well I really don’t know or care how it relates to you to you, but as for me, I can no longer relate to ‘Sheed. Even though I’ve never smoked pot*, I found it much easier to relate to the Portland version of ‘Sheed. He was a man that was complete insane and completely honest.. He only cared about one thing and one thing only: gettin’ paid. Which brings us back to myself and Loews Ventana Canyon Resort (LVCR for short). While I still do my job, my effort is getting more and more half assed. Like the old ‘Sheed all I care about is my pay check, which are getting smaller and smaller do to less people staying at the resort. And when I’m honest with myself, there’s really no reason for me to try any harder then I currently am. I’m suppose to bridge the gap from the evening crew to the a.m. crew. My main duty is making sure the morning crew isn’t over whelmed when they get in and covering the p.m. crews arses. But here’s the problem with all that, there’s not single redeemable person in the entire staff of people I work with. There’s butt f*ck Chuck, the am crew’s manager who’s so gay he’s almost over doing it. He spends his entire day eating and flirting with boys and over weight women. Needless to say I’m extremely jealous. In fact the entire morning crew us pretty much a train wreck. The only semi-redemable person is this one over weight chica, but I’m pretty sure she talks sh*t about me in Spanish to the other over weight chicas**. Then there’s the pm shift, who might be an even more motley crew. They’re lead my a manager whose going through mid-life crisis so badly that I’m half convinced it’s an act. Despite the fact that’s he’s balding pretty badly he still tries to spike his hair up and pretend like nothings wrong. I’m also pretty sure that he dies his hair, but I can’t prove it. Then there’s the Chinese guy I work with, who despite being married and having a four month old child insists of giving be a recap of all the ‘tits’ in the room he just delivered food to. And we haven’t even touched on the goofy foreigner, the whinny/emo/constantly bitching about something guy., or the biker guy whose hearing is so shot he shouts everything he says and repeats every sentence to you at least 4 times. Wait, I forgot there is one redeemable soul in this gawd awful work place. That would be the heavy set cashier who has impeccable music taste and is extremely funny. But other then that I doubt I’d shed a tear if I never saw the rest of my co-workers. And now on to NBA playoffs thoughts and other news.
- Two years in a row I’ve thought Steve Nash probably didn’t deserve the MVP, and two years in a row he’s used the playoffs to prove me wrong. In related news I apologize to all Suns fans out their as I no doubt just jinxed the man.
- What’s the difference between Tony Parker and Steve Nash defensively? Tim Duncan, Robert Horry and Bruce Bowen. Both Nash and Parker are horrible defenders, but one player just has a plethora of great defenders around him so he doesn’t look half as bad. PG defenense is the easiest to cover up, you just need good defenders in other spots to be able to cover for him. Remember this next year when Nash is flanked by Raja Bell and Shawn Marion on the wings and Kurt Thomas and Amare Stoudamire in the post and everyone’s talking about how much he’s improved as a defender.
- Pat Riley should be fired for not putting a single decent defender or shooter around D-Wade and Shaq. It was painful to watch both of them get quadruple teamed by the Nets and have no one to kick it out to. That said if RJ’s not 100% healthy the Heat will take this series in 6.
- Fearless prediction: If Dallas somehow upsets San Antonio, the Suns are going to the NBA finals. Steve Nash won’t let his team lose to the Mavericks and all in all the Suns are the worst possible match up for them. But Dallas isn’t going to get by San Antonio, so it doesn’t really matter.
- If you enjoy basketball pray that RJ is healthy so the Nets have a chance at up ending the Pistons and we can be spared from yet another Piston-Spurs finals.
Well that’s it for now. Enjoy watching the Suns attempt to reach 200 points tonight.
Until We Meet Again
* Mainly because I’m certain I’d enjoy it far too much.
** For those of you scoring at home, that’s 3 heavy set Latino women that I work with in the morning.
- Two years in a row I’ve thought Steve Nash probably didn’t deserve the MVP, and two years in a row he’s used the playoffs to prove me wrong. In related news I apologize to all Suns fans out their as I no doubt just jinxed the man.
- What’s the difference between Tony Parker and Steve Nash defensively? Tim Duncan, Robert Horry and Bruce Bowen. Both Nash and Parker are horrible defenders, but one player just has a plethora of great defenders around him so he doesn’t look half as bad. PG defenense is the easiest to cover up, you just need good defenders in other spots to be able to cover for him. Remember this next year when Nash is flanked by Raja Bell and Shawn Marion on the wings and Kurt Thomas and Amare Stoudamire in the post and everyone’s talking about how much he’s improved as a defender.
- Pat Riley should be fired for not putting a single decent defender or shooter around D-Wade and Shaq. It was painful to watch both of them get quadruple teamed by the Nets and have no one to kick it out to. That said if RJ’s not 100% healthy the Heat will take this series in 6.
- Fearless prediction: If Dallas somehow upsets San Antonio, the Suns are going to the NBA finals. Steve Nash won’t let his team lose to the Mavericks and all in all the Suns are the worst possible match up for them. But Dallas isn’t going to get by San Antonio, so it doesn’t really matter.
- If you enjoy basketball pray that RJ is healthy so the Nets have a chance at up ending the Pistons and we can be spared from yet another Piston-Spurs finals.
Well that’s it for now. Enjoy watching the Suns attempt to reach 200 points tonight.
Until We Meet Again
* Mainly because I’m certain I’d enjoy it far too much.
** For those of you scoring at home, that’s 3 heavy set Latino women that I work with in the morning.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Top 5 List: Reasons to Love the Suns-Lakers Series
Happy Cinco De Mayo. Since today is the fifth of May I’ve decided to give you five reason why you should love the Suns-Lakers series. This will be a short, sports related post, so as usual you artsy types may want to stay away. With out further ado: The Top 5 Reasons to Love the Suns-Lakers Series.
1. Game 7: In all of sports there’s nothing better (I’m ducking as I type this for fear that the March Madness gods will smite me). Game 7 is always dramatic, tension filled, and usually lives up to its billing because both teams are playing so hard to keep their seasons alive. This game should be no exception, because not only is both teams, but Phil Jackson has never lost a first round series. And that’s just one of the many subplots of this great series that will get into… now.
2. Raja vs. Kobe: The media will over hype this and beat it to the ground by tip off tomorrow, but holy balls is has this turned into one bad ass feud. You could tell something was brewing for the first 4 games and then with out warning Raja gave Kobe his version of the “Clothesline from Hell”. As if that wasn’t great enough Kobe got right up trying and tried to play it cool, but it looked to me like he was holding back tears. That right there is all you need for a good feud, but God bless these two they decided to make it great. If you haven’t heard or read the war of words that transpired after the clothesline, then track it down on. To summarize Raja pretty much called Kobe a stuck up, arrogant c*nt. In response Kobe suggested that maybe Raja wasn’t hugged enough as a child. Just classic. The tension between these two will be electric Saturday night, and it could lead to a baseball style bench clearing brawl. Thanks to these to the ceiling of this series has been removed. Anything’s possible.
3. The Redemption Angle: Three months ago it looked like Tim Thomas might not play at all this season. And last night he just hit the biggest shot of the Suns season. When most people think of Kwame Brown they think of Ryan Leaf, not a good sign. But at times in this series Kwame has looked like and all-star, other times he’s looked like a skinny Oliver Miller. I’m actually shocked that journalist aren’t making a bigger deal out of this. I think both of these guys are the X-Factors for their teams, whichever one of them steps up more tomorrow will help their team when the series. And speaking of redemption, that guy on the Lakers who scores a lot was once accused of rape.*
4. Bad Blood and Posterizing: Due to the fact that both are MVP candidates, the tension between Nash, Kobe and their respective teams has been at an all-time high for a first round series. Several times a game the teams have gotten into shoving matches and Kobe and Steve are always in the middle of everything. And if that’s not enough Kobe dunked on Nash, although is it really dunking on someone when you’re 6-8 and their 6-2 and white? Yeah I didn’t think so either. Well last night Shawn Marion, who’s apparently no longer afraid to play basketball, nutted all over Kobe’s forehead in overtime. Thanks to all this tensions will be even higher tomorrow night. And they’ll rise even higher when one of the Lakers scrubs, by money’s on Kwame or Devon George, delivers a payback foul to Raja Bell. To quote Paul Westernberg, I can’t hardly wait.
5. The Battle for Kobe: For the first few games of this series Phil Jackson had mad Mike D’Antoni his bitch. He had absolutely manhandled him in the coaching department and at times seemed to be toying with him. Then finally D’Antoni struck back. He started double teaming Odom, keeping Bryant out of the lane and got his shooters confidence back. He’s done all this with little to no fan fare, but Mike D’Antoni’s adjustments are a huge reason why there’s a game tomorrow night. Which brings us to Kobe. The last two games Kobe’s been scoring more, and as great as he is this creates a problem for the Lakers. When they’re pounding the ball inside they’re controlling the tempo and substantially slowing down Phoenix’s running game. But when Kobe’s scoring, he’s doing it on jumpers and/or with the other four Lakers standing and watching. This makes it much easier for the Suns to run and get in an offensive rhythm. And Phil can get Kobe to be a distributor and pound the ball in the paint, then the Lakers will control the tempo and the game. But if D’Antoni’s game plan works and Kobe tries to do it on his own then the Suns will control the tempo and the game. Which ever coach gets Kobe to run his game plan, that man will be victorious tomorrow night.
And there you have it. Enjoy this game, and remember it a month from now when the Spurs and Pistons are playing for the NBA Finals again and setting basketball’s watchablitiy** back several decades and you’re trying to remember why you like basketball.
Until We Meet Again
* Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
** I realizes this is not a word, but it should.
1. Game 7: In all of sports there’s nothing better (I’m ducking as I type this for fear that the March Madness gods will smite me). Game 7 is always dramatic, tension filled, and usually lives up to its billing because both teams are playing so hard to keep their seasons alive. This game should be no exception, because not only is both teams, but Phil Jackson has never lost a first round series. And that’s just one of the many subplots of this great series that will get into… now.
2. Raja vs. Kobe: The media will over hype this and beat it to the ground by tip off tomorrow, but holy balls is has this turned into one bad ass feud. You could tell something was brewing for the first 4 games and then with out warning Raja gave Kobe his version of the “Clothesline from Hell”. As if that wasn’t great enough Kobe got right up trying and tried to play it cool, but it looked to me like he was holding back tears. That right there is all you need for a good feud, but God bless these two they decided to make it great. If you haven’t heard or read the war of words that transpired after the clothesline, then track it down on. To summarize Raja pretty much called Kobe a stuck up, arrogant c*nt. In response Kobe suggested that maybe Raja wasn’t hugged enough as a child. Just classic. The tension between these two will be electric Saturday night, and it could lead to a baseball style bench clearing brawl. Thanks to these to the ceiling of this series has been removed. Anything’s possible.
3. The Redemption Angle: Three months ago it looked like Tim Thomas might not play at all this season. And last night he just hit the biggest shot of the Suns season. When most people think of Kwame Brown they think of Ryan Leaf, not a good sign. But at times in this series Kwame has looked like and all-star, other times he’s looked like a skinny Oliver Miller. I’m actually shocked that journalist aren’t making a bigger deal out of this. I think both of these guys are the X-Factors for their teams, whichever one of them steps up more tomorrow will help their team when the series. And speaking of redemption, that guy on the Lakers who scores a lot was once accused of rape.*
4. Bad Blood and Posterizing: Due to the fact that both are MVP candidates, the tension between Nash, Kobe and their respective teams has been at an all-time high for a first round series. Several times a game the teams have gotten into shoving matches and Kobe and Steve are always in the middle of everything. And if that’s not enough Kobe dunked on Nash, although is it really dunking on someone when you’re 6-8 and their 6-2 and white? Yeah I didn’t think so either. Well last night Shawn Marion, who’s apparently no longer afraid to play basketball, nutted all over Kobe’s forehead in overtime. Thanks to all this tensions will be even higher tomorrow night. And they’ll rise even higher when one of the Lakers scrubs, by money’s on Kwame or Devon George, delivers a payback foul to Raja Bell. To quote Paul Westernberg, I can’t hardly wait.
5. The Battle for Kobe: For the first few games of this series Phil Jackson had mad Mike D’Antoni his bitch. He had absolutely manhandled him in the coaching department and at times seemed to be toying with him. Then finally D’Antoni struck back. He started double teaming Odom, keeping Bryant out of the lane and got his shooters confidence back. He’s done all this with little to no fan fare, but Mike D’Antoni’s adjustments are a huge reason why there’s a game tomorrow night. Which brings us to Kobe. The last two games Kobe’s been scoring more, and as great as he is this creates a problem for the Lakers. When they’re pounding the ball inside they’re controlling the tempo and substantially slowing down Phoenix’s running game. But when Kobe’s scoring, he’s doing it on jumpers and/or with the other four Lakers standing and watching. This makes it much easier for the Suns to run and get in an offensive rhythm. And Phil can get Kobe to be a distributor and pound the ball in the paint, then the Lakers will control the tempo and the game. But if D’Antoni’s game plan works and Kobe tries to do it on his own then the Suns will control the tempo and the game. Which ever coach gets Kobe to run his game plan, that man will be victorious tomorrow night.
And there you have it. Enjoy this game, and remember it a month from now when the Spurs and Pistons are playing for the NBA Finals again and setting basketball’s watchablitiy** back several decades and you’re trying to remember why you like basketball.
Until We Meet Again
* Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
** I realizes this is not a word, but it should.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Letters from Readers
Here’s yet another new section for you when I answer questions that my numerous readers have. This here is my first letter to the editor section. Yes it’s a rip off of the sports guy’s mailbag, which is a rip off of Lettermen’s CBS Mailbag, which is probably a rip off of something else. So with out further ado, here’s a little Q + A time for ya.
Q: Hey Calvin long time reader, first time writer, Who’s been a better player for the Lakers so far in the playoffs: Kobe or Odom? Also what’s up with the reefing in this series?
Adam. Spokane, WA.
A: Great question Adam, but I wouldn’t limit it just to those two Lakers. While they’ve both been great I think Shawn Marion has far and away been the Lakers best player. As for the reefing, it’s been horrendous for both teams the entire series. It’s as if the refs are petrified that a basketball game might break out. It’s even more upsetting when you see final 3 minutes of game 4 and overtime showing us just how good this series would be if the refs just stepped back and stopped calling a foul every possession.
Q: You have great musical taste! Any suggestions? Guilty pleasures? Or Song of the Summer we should know about? Music Lover in Mundeline, IL.
A: I sure do music lover. Josh Ritter’s newest album “The Animal Years” is absolutely amazing. It’s the only record I’ve heard so far this year that rivals Destroyer’s Rubies. Check this ish out, the highlight songs are Girl in the War, Thin Blue Flame and Lily, Egypt to name a few. As for guilty pleasures, I’m pretty fond of Angles and the Airwaves, Tom Delong’s new band. Please just don’t tell anyone. As for Song of the Summer, I’m not quite sure yet. I don’t think there’s a sure firer pick like there was last summer with Feel Good INC. Gun to my head I’m going with Gnarles Barkley – Crazy. Hopefully other contenders will step up to the plate, but who knows. It’s been a lack luster year for music so far.
Q: Any thoughts on the NFL Draft? Why didn’t Reggie Bush go #1?
Trevor in Tucson.
A: I don’t know Trevor. All I can say is thinks don’t look to good for Houston, especially after an ecstatic Sam Bowie called thanking Mario Williams and the Texans GM over and over again. But what might be even more upsetting then this horrendous pick is that now the extremely over hyped NFL Draft might not go away. Mel Kiper and ESPN could potentially keep running stories on this from now until next April. So not only did the Texans hurt themselves, but they also hurt all of us as well.
Q: You personally said that Dirk would flop in the playoffs. How do you feel about that prediction now? Don Denver. Dallas, TX
A: Not to good. Dirk and the Mavs got the perfect draw in round one, the Grizzlies might be the worst playoff team in the west, just behind Denver. There’s not a single player on their team who has a prayer of guarding Dirk. So now he can get his confidence up in round 1 and hope it carries over to round 2. That said it won’t matter because they’re not getting by the Spurs.
Q: How is Steve Nash goin’ win the MVP? Kobe’s team is beating him in the playoffs, # 8’s the real MVP!!!!!?!?!!?!?
Back on the Bandwagon in LA, CA.
A: Great point bandwagoner, ‘cause the MVP is decided in the playoffs. Listen, everyone who’s making the argument that Nash doesn’t deserve the MVP award and then trying to use the Lakers-Suns series their main reason, please stop before you make us all dumber. The MVP is a regular season award, not a first round of the playoffs award. During the regular season seven Suns players had career years, thanks mainly to Steve Nash. During the regular season several Lakers players contemplated suicide thanks in large part to Kobe’s efforts to put up the first ever single-digit passing season. I’m not about to make the argument that Nash is better then Kobe, and he’s far from the best player in the league. But during the regular season no player played better, or had a more important role for their team then Steve Nash. Combine that with that fact that most people assumed the Suns would miss the playoffs this year and it’s pretty easy to see why Nash won his second MVP.
Q: What are your thoughts on Lost, is it really the best show on TV?
Duncan K. Neptune, CA.
A: While Lost is great, several HBO shows are better then it. I personally think it’s the 2nd best non-HBO show on TV. Veronica Mars is first. In fact Veronica Mars just might be the best show ever, and honestly I’m not joking. But anyway, back to Lost. I really like the show, but it’s over hyped, especially for all the wrong reasons. The best part of the show is the over arching story line of why they’re on the island and what the hell is up with the island. Yet everyone I know raves about the characters and how moving the show is. I really wonder what show these people are watching because the only good character on the show is John Locke. Other then that the only characters I care about are the attractive ones. Just about every other character is boring and one-dimensional. And I’ll be the first to admit that there was about 3-4 episodes in the first season that I found very moving. But the second season, with every episode ending with the slow-mo camera shots and swelling strings and piano, has been like a girl who doesn’t wear underwear, it’s trying way to hard.*
Q: Are there any other blogs that we should know about?
Craig. Omaha, NE.
A: Yes there is. While most people don’t update their blogs anymore, there’s still one exception to the rule: greatvision.blogspot.com Check him out.
Q: hey cal i read u’re blog once and it was sweet. anyway I have a question for u: i played sports in hs and now i can’t seem to move on. i can’t decide what I want to do as a career, it just doesn’t seem like i’m right for anything. u got some advice bro?
p.s. i scored 13 touchdowns my senior year at halfback.
brad taylor. yuma, az.
A: Have you considered becoming a personal trainer?
Well that it’s for today. Enjoy the NBA playoffs, if the refs will allow you to.
Until We Meet Again.
* Oh f*ck. Did I just reference Blink 182
Q: Hey Calvin long time reader, first time writer, Who’s been a better player for the Lakers so far in the playoffs: Kobe or Odom? Also what’s up with the reefing in this series?
Adam. Spokane, WA.
A: Great question Adam, but I wouldn’t limit it just to those two Lakers. While they’ve both been great I think Shawn Marion has far and away been the Lakers best player. As for the reefing, it’s been horrendous for both teams the entire series. It’s as if the refs are petrified that a basketball game might break out. It’s even more upsetting when you see final 3 minutes of game 4 and overtime showing us just how good this series would be if the refs just stepped back and stopped calling a foul every possession.
Q: You have great musical taste! Any suggestions? Guilty pleasures? Or Song of the Summer we should know about? Music Lover in Mundeline, IL.
A: I sure do music lover. Josh Ritter’s newest album “The Animal Years” is absolutely amazing. It’s the only record I’ve heard so far this year that rivals Destroyer’s Rubies. Check this ish out, the highlight songs are Girl in the War, Thin Blue Flame and Lily, Egypt to name a few. As for guilty pleasures, I’m pretty fond of Angles and the Airwaves, Tom Delong’s new band. Please just don’t tell anyone. As for Song of the Summer, I’m not quite sure yet. I don’t think there’s a sure firer pick like there was last summer with Feel Good INC. Gun to my head I’m going with Gnarles Barkley – Crazy. Hopefully other contenders will step up to the plate, but who knows. It’s been a lack luster year for music so far.
Q: Any thoughts on the NFL Draft? Why didn’t Reggie Bush go #1?
Trevor in Tucson.
A: I don’t know Trevor. All I can say is thinks don’t look to good for Houston, especially after an ecstatic Sam Bowie called thanking Mario Williams and the Texans GM over and over again. But what might be even more upsetting then this horrendous pick is that now the extremely over hyped NFL Draft might not go away. Mel Kiper and ESPN could potentially keep running stories on this from now until next April. So not only did the Texans hurt themselves, but they also hurt all of us as well.
Q: You personally said that Dirk would flop in the playoffs. How do you feel about that prediction now? Don Denver. Dallas, TX
A: Not to good. Dirk and the Mavs got the perfect draw in round one, the Grizzlies might be the worst playoff team in the west, just behind Denver. There’s not a single player on their team who has a prayer of guarding Dirk. So now he can get his confidence up in round 1 and hope it carries over to round 2. That said it won’t matter because they’re not getting by the Spurs.
Q: How is Steve Nash goin’ win the MVP? Kobe’s team is beating him in the playoffs, # 8’s the real MVP!!!!!?!?!!?!?
Back on the Bandwagon in LA, CA.
A: Great point bandwagoner, ‘cause the MVP is decided in the playoffs. Listen, everyone who’s making the argument that Nash doesn’t deserve the MVP award and then trying to use the Lakers-Suns series their main reason, please stop before you make us all dumber. The MVP is a regular season award, not a first round of the playoffs award. During the regular season seven Suns players had career years, thanks mainly to Steve Nash. During the regular season several Lakers players contemplated suicide thanks in large part to Kobe’s efforts to put up the first ever single-digit passing season. I’m not about to make the argument that Nash is better then Kobe, and he’s far from the best player in the league. But during the regular season no player played better, or had a more important role for their team then Steve Nash. Combine that with that fact that most people assumed the Suns would miss the playoffs this year and it’s pretty easy to see why Nash won his second MVP.
Q: What are your thoughts on Lost, is it really the best show on TV?
Duncan K. Neptune, CA.
A: While Lost is great, several HBO shows are better then it. I personally think it’s the 2nd best non-HBO show on TV. Veronica Mars is first. In fact Veronica Mars just might be the best show ever, and honestly I’m not joking. But anyway, back to Lost. I really like the show, but it’s over hyped, especially for all the wrong reasons. The best part of the show is the over arching story line of why they’re on the island and what the hell is up with the island. Yet everyone I know raves about the characters and how moving the show is. I really wonder what show these people are watching because the only good character on the show is John Locke. Other then that the only characters I care about are the attractive ones. Just about every other character is boring and one-dimensional. And I’ll be the first to admit that there was about 3-4 episodes in the first season that I found very moving. But the second season, with every episode ending with the slow-mo camera shots and swelling strings and piano, has been like a girl who doesn’t wear underwear, it’s trying way to hard.*
Q: Are there any other blogs that we should know about?
Craig. Omaha, NE.
A: Yes there is. While most people don’t update their blogs anymore, there’s still one exception to the rule: greatvision.blogspot.com Check him out.
Q: hey cal i read u’re blog once and it was sweet. anyway I have a question for u: i played sports in hs and now i can’t seem to move on. i can’t decide what I want to do as a career, it just doesn’t seem like i’m right for anything. u got some advice bro?
p.s. i scored 13 touchdowns my senior year at halfback.
brad taylor. yuma, az.
A: Have you considered becoming a personal trainer?
Well that it’s for today. Enjoy the NBA playoffs, if the refs will allow you to.
Until We Meet Again.
* Oh f*ck. Did I just reference Blink 182
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