Saturday, April 30, 2005
Friday, April 29, 2005
Top 5 Euphemisms for Heterosexual Intercourse.
Our newest segment: Top 5 lists. Here’s this weeks installment.
5. Doing the DEW!!?!?!?!?!?!?
4. Bumping Nasties.
3. Genital Bowling.
2. That thing my parents do when they think I’m asleep.
1. Balls to taint slapping.
5. Doing the DEW!!?!?!?!?!?!?
4. Bumping Nasties.
3. Genital Bowling.
2. That thing my parents do when they think I’m asleep.
1. Balls to taint slapping.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Hot Stuff Coming Through
Now that crisis has narrowly been evaded at my college, I figure it’s time for another hot list.
Things I’m hot on:
Dirk Nowitzki’s NBA Playoffs ad: If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re missing out. He calls the NBA Championship trophy a ton of times, telling it that he loves it and wants to be with it. On paper, not really funny, but Dirk is pure unadulterated gold in this commercial, trust me.
Kung Fu Hustle: Plain and simple, the story sucked. But the actions scenes were probably the coolest and most original I’ve ever seen. Also, what’s not to like about Kung Fu(besides the Asians of course.).
I’ll Be Your Huckleberry: The scene in Tombstone where Val Killmer says this line, gets me everytime.
Music: This is the section where I give my musical shout outs, here goes…
Spoon – I Turn My Camera On, Stereophonics – Dakota, Ladybug Transistor – Oceans in the Hall, Josh Rouse – Flight Attendant, Decemberists – On the Bus Mall, Blink 182 – Damnit (F*** all of you for judging me,, I am who I am.), Tom Petty – Something in the Air, Snow Patrol – Mahogany, Joe Firstman – After Los Angeles, Third Eye Blind – Loosing a Whole Year (See the Blink 182 song), Frausdots – Dead Wrong and Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash – Last Goodbye.
Things I’m not hot on ( a.k.a. The Not Hot List):
The fact that I’m either gay or A Sexual at best: More on this later, I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about this. No it’ll be a while…
Smoking: Before any of you get the wrong idea, I absolutely love smoking. But with my campus being a dry and pure air campus, I have to walk at least ten minutes to smoke, which is a hardcore pain in the ass. And once I get off campus and behind the motel which I smoke at, I have my head on a swivel as I’m looking around to make sure no one from my school is around. I can’t really even enjoy the grits anymore, which is just a damn shame.
Indians: I know I’ve been over this before, but this time I have a fun story. My senior year of high school basketball at regionals is our setting. We’re playing a team from the Sells Indian reservation, and they had probably close to 500 fans in the gym. So late in the game while my boy Will was at the foul line, I went over to talk to my coach. Since it had been a rough game an abundance of sweet was resting on the ball. Before he shot his free throws Will asked the officials to wipe the ball off, b/c of all the sweat. As this was happening a rather large Indian man stood up right behind my coach and yelled “It’s not sweat it’s the cum on our hands faggot.”. Needless to say I immediately started to dry heave. Good times.
Things I’m hot on, but really wish I wasn’t (a.k.a Guilty Pleasures):
Felicity, Season 2: Even more evidence that I’m probably gay, but I don’t care. I half way through the season, 3 discs, 12 eps, and the show has it’s handcuffs firmly encased on me, and I’m not even putting up a fight.
Star Wars Episode III Trailer: Personally I can’t wait for this movie and I’m not really ashamed of that. But me acting like a kid on Christmas morning every time I see the trailer just makes me feel like the huge virgin I am. Yep.
My ‘Back to the Future’ Fan Fiction: I don’t have any yet, but the mere thought of it is a guilty pleasure.
Until We Meet Again
Things I’m hot on:
Dirk Nowitzki’s NBA Playoffs ad: If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re missing out. He calls the NBA Championship trophy a ton of times, telling it that he loves it and wants to be with it. On paper, not really funny, but Dirk is pure unadulterated gold in this commercial, trust me.
Kung Fu Hustle: Plain and simple, the story sucked. But the actions scenes were probably the coolest and most original I’ve ever seen. Also, what’s not to like about Kung Fu(besides the Asians of course.).
I’ll Be Your Huckleberry: The scene in Tombstone where Val Killmer says this line, gets me everytime.
Music: This is the section where I give my musical shout outs, here goes…
Spoon – I Turn My Camera On, Stereophonics – Dakota, Ladybug Transistor – Oceans in the Hall, Josh Rouse – Flight Attendant, Decemberists – On the Bus Mall, Blink 182 – Damnit (F*** all of you for judging me,, I am who I am.), Tom Petty – Something in the Air, Snow Patrol – Mahogany, Joe Firstman – After Los Angeles, Third Eye Blind – Loosing a Whole Year (See the Blink 182 song), Frausdots – Dead Wrong and Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash – Last Goodbye.
Things I’m not hot on ( a.k.a. The Not Hot List):
The fact that I’m either gay or A Sexual at best: More on this later, I’m not sure if I’m ready to talk about this. No it’ll be a while…
Smoking: Before any of you get the wrong idea, I absolutely love smoking. But with my campus being a dry and pure air campus, I have to walk at least ten minutes to smoke, which is a hardcore pain in the ass. And once I get off campus and behind the motel which I smoke at, I have my head on a swivel as I’m looking around to make sure no one from my school is around. I can’t really even enjoy the grits anymore, which is just a damn shame.
Indians: I know I’ve been over this before, but this time I have a fun story. My senior year of high school basketball at regionals is our setting. We’re playing a team from the Sells Indian reservation, and they had probably close to 500 fans in the gym. So late in the game while my boy Will was at the foul line, I went over to talk to my coach. Since it had been a rough game an abundance of sweet was resting on the ball. Before he shot his free throws Will asked the officials to wipe the ball off, b/c of all the sweat. As this was happening a rather large Indian man stood up right behind my coach and yelled “It’s not sweat it’s the cum on our hands faggot.”. Needless to say I immediately started to dry heave. Good times.
Things I’m hot on, but really wish I wasn’t (a.k.a Guilty Pleasures):
Felicity, Season 2: Even more evidence that I’m probably gay, but I don’t care. I half way through the season, 3 discs, 12 eps, and the show has it’s handcuffs firmly encased on me, and I’m not even putting up a fight.
Star Wars Episode III Trailer: Personally I can’t wait for this movie and I’m not really ashamed of that. But me acting like a kid on Christmas morning every time I see the trailer just makes me feel like the huge virgin I am. Yep.
My ‘Back to the Future’ Fan Fiction: I don’t have any yet, but the mere thought of it is a guilty pleasure.
Until We Meet Again
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
WARNING: This post is not for the feint of heart, or anyone with a conscience.
As some of you may know, my college has recently undergone a bit of a crisis. Minority students had to be taken off campus to a safer location on Thursday night and didn’t return until Sunday afternoon. For more info go here: http://abclocal.go.com/wls/news/042105_ns_hatemail.html
Now most people put in this situation would be appalled and frightened, but for me and a select few students, we were neither. Instead we were what many students would call “insensitive” and “a$$-holes”. While no of us ment to downplay the seriousness of this event, we just decide to ease our minds by making a slew of tasteless and racially insensitive jokes. Here are some of the highlights:
(Spaces means the comments are unrelated. For multiple reasons I’m going to keep everyone’s identity sort of hidden. Word.)
Thursday, day of the evacuation.
Me: So the first girl had money taken from her car and the hate letter was left in the car.
?: Yeh she had 200 dollars stolen.
J(suitemate): Yeah but it was probably just drug money anyway.
(We didn’t want to laugh at this, but it was really funny.)
After the evacuation…
K (suitemate): Yeah so they whitewashed the entire campus.
ME: Yeah this whole thing is unnerving, now let’s go watch American History X.
N(friend of a friend): I don’t know about you guys, but I certainly feel safer now.
Friday and Saturday:
Me: It sucks that the minorities are all gone, but at least I finally feel like I have a big penis.
Me: I just have a feeling something bad is going happen. I’m not going to class the first day the minorities come back.
D(friend): To show your disapproval for their safe return?
Me: No dipsh*t, are you kidding me?
D: Sorta.
? (Source asked to remain anonymous): Wow an all white campus, now I know what kids feel like at a real Christian College.
Note: Some comments were either not funny enough or too tasteless to be posted. All of these were jokes, at least I think so. In related news I’m headed straight to hell.
Until We Meet Again
Now most people put in this situation would be appalled and frightened, but for me and a select few students, we were neither. Instead we were what many students would call “insensitive” and “a$$-holes”. While no of us ment to downplay the seriousness of this event, we just decide to ease our minds by making a slew of tasteless and racially insensitive jokes. Here are some of the highlights:
(Spaces means the comments are unrelated. For multiple reasons I’m going to keep everyone’s identity sort of hidden. Word.)
Thursday, day of the evacuation.
Me: So the first girl had money taken from her car and the hate letter was left in the car.
?: Yeh she had 200 dollars stolen.
J(suitemate): Yeah but it was probably just drug money anyway.
(We didn’t want to laugh at this, but it was really funny.)
After the evacuation…
K (suitemate): Yeah so they whitewashed the entire campus.
ME: Yeah this whole thing is unnerving, now let’s go watch American History X.
N(friend of a friend): I don’t know about you guys, but I certainly feel safer now.
Friday and Saturday:
Me: It sucks that the minorities are all gone, but at least I finally feel like I have a big penis.
Me: I just have a feeling something bad is going happen. I’m not going to class the first day the minorities come back.
D(friend): To show your disapproval for their safe return?
Me: No dipsh*t, are you kidding me?
D: Sorta.
? (Source asked to remain anonymous): Wow an all white campus, now I know what kids feel like at a real Christian College.
Note: Some comments were either not funny enough or too tasteless to be posted. All of these were jokes, at least I think so. In related news I’m headed straight to hell.
Until We Meet Again
Friday, April 22, 2005
A whole lot of NBA stuff
I thought it was about time that I enlighten all of you with my NBA season awards as well as post-season preview. First the Awards:
Coach of the Year: Rick Carlise, Indiana Pacers. After the brawl game, the Pacers had no business making the playoffs, and they certainly had no business making it as high as a 6th seed. This proves 2 things. One that the East is still weak, real weak. And two that Carlise is probably the best coach in the NBA.
Runner-Up: Nate McMillan, Seattle Supersonics
6th Man: Ben Gordon, Chicago Bulls. Even though Jerry Stackhouse has better numbers, since Gordon is his teams best scorer, most clutch performer and arguably his teams best player (Hinrich actually is, but that’s neither here nor there) he gets the nod.
Runner-Up: Jerry Stackhouse, Dallas Mavericks.
Rookie of the Year: Emeka Okafor, Charlotte Bobcats. This was easily the hardest category to choose. While Gordon played in more meaningful games and his team ultimately made the playoffs, Okafor was the best rookie this year. Unlike Gordon, who was surrounded by a slew of talented players, Okafor was his teams number one option and if he had an off night his team was done for. Gordon had the luxury of coming off the bench and deferring to his teammates with confidence if he was on. Okafor had no of that and still put up great numbers. Side Note: I’m really not sold on Dwight Howard.
Runner-Ups: Ben Gordon, Andre Igoudla (76ers), Josh Smith (Hawks), Dwight Howard (Magic).
Defensive Player of the Year: Tayshaun Prince, Detroit Pistions. The best perimeter defender in the league, bar none.
Runner-Ups: Bruce Bowen, Ben Wallace, Tim Duncan, Andre Igoudla.
MVP: Shaquille O’Neal, Miami Heat. If I’m a betting man I say Steve Nash takes this one, but O’Neal rightfully should win it. He’s been far more dominate, and as good as Nash has been, he’s defensive liability will be the reason the Suns don’t win it all.
Runner-Ups: Allen Iverson, Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash, Tim Duncan.
All-NBA First Team:
G Allen Iverson + Steve Nash: For my money Iverson has been the best player in the league this year, but Shaq deserves MVP, if that makes any since. It’s hard to leave Lebron off this list, but I can’t justify bumping either Nash or Iverson.
F Dirk and Amare: I know I had Tim Duncan in my MVP voting, but he’s missed to many games to be first team, although he’s still prove that he’s top 5 in MVP voting.
C Shaq: Who the hell else would be here?
All-NBA SecondTeam:
G Lebron James + Ray Allen: James is the easy pick, since he’s 5b on my all-NBA list. Allen gets the nod here because he’s led the league’s most surprising team all year and all people talk about is his contract.
F T-Mac and KG: Even though KG’s teams bombed, he’s still had a great year. Also T-Mac is a 3 in my book, so yeah.
C: Duncan: Plays PF, but he’s a center at heart, that and no other center is worthy of this spot as far as I’m concerned.
Honorable Mention: Gilbert Arenas, Tayshuan Prince, Mike Bibby, Dwayne Wade, Grant Hill, Jason Kidd, Shawn Marion and Reggie Miller.
Playoff Predictions:
For now I’ll just do the first round, I’ll put out the rest of my predictions later.
East:
1 Miami v. 8 New Jersey: Everyone think the Net’s will make a series of this, I have to disagree. If RJ was at full health maybe, but the Heat are going to destroy the Nets inside. Heat in 5, 7 if Shaq misses more then one game.
4 Chicago Bulls v. Washington Wizards: I like the Wizards here. First off the Bulls are banged up, Deng and Curry won’t play at all, and despite the Bulls great defense, I believe they’ll be hard pressed to stop the Wiz’s trio. Washington in 6
3 Boston v. Indiana : This is a dream match up for Indiana. While B-Town has been hot as of late, they don’t match up well with the Pacers. I also have the feeling that Reggie is going to be lights out for the entire playoffs, and the Celtics don’t play D and Jermaine O’Neal is going to destroy Boston if he stays healthy. Add in the fact that the Pacers have a slew of players who can defend Paul Pierce as well as anyone, and the Pacers should be favored in this series. Plus they’re kinda due for some good karma. Pacers in 6
2 Detroit v. 7 Philadelphia: AI is great, but the Pistons are far better then the 76ers. Prince guards Iverson, and everyone for that matter, better then anyone in the league. I don’t see the 76ers winning a game in this series unless AI goes off for at least 40, which I don’t think he’ll be able to do against Prince. C-Webb will flop in the playoffs yet again, with the only difference this time around being that his team was expected to loose. Pistons in 4
West:
1 Phoenix v. Memphis: Memphis matches up very well with the Suns, but I think they lack the offensive punch to contend w/ Phoenix. Memphis is a team that’s built for the regular season, and I they don’t have what it takes to beat the Suns 4 times in 7 games. Suns in 6
4 Dallas v. Houston: This would be a great series if Juwan Howard wasn’t injured. Now the Rockets have no one who can defend Dirk. T-Mac will try, but I doubt he’ll guard Dirk that much considering the offensive burden he has to carry. While Dallas should be a clear favorite in this series, I think Jeff Van Gundy will out-coach Avery Johnson and his humongous lips enough to make this one interesting. Dallas in 7.
3 Seattle v. Sacramento: The Kings are banged up again in the playoffs, what else is new. Yet I still like Sac-town in this series, regardless of their health issues. Mike Bibby is at his best in the playoffs and he’s going to eat up the Supersonics PGs. I also don’t like the way Seattle backed in to the playoffs. While the Kings haven’t played great, the have far more playoff experience then the Sonics. Kings in 6
2 San Antonio v. Denver: The Nuggets have arguably been the best team in the NBA since the All-Star break, it’s too bad for them that they run into the Spurs in the first round. But this is definitely the best time to play the Spurs since TD is banged up and trying to regain his rhythm. Still, I like SA in this series, mainly b/c I think Carmello is gonna get locked down by the Spurs and then he’ll force the issue to much and take his team out of a couple of games. Denver will make is one interesting, and if Anthony doesn’t try to do too much then Denver could very well pull off the upset. But I think the safer bet is Carmello over doing it and crushing the Nuggets chances. Spurs in 6
That’s all for now, and for those of you who aren’t into sports, I apologize b/c this blog will be over taken by the NBA playoffs for the foreseeable future.
Coach of the Year: Rick Carlise, Indiana Pacers. After the brawl game, the Pacers had no business making the playoffs, and they certainly had no business making it as high as a 6th seed. This proves 2 things. One that the East is still weak, real weak. And two that Carlise is probably the best coach in the NBA.
Runner-Up: Nate McMillan, Seattle Supersonics
6th Man: Ben Gordon, Chicago Bulls. Even though Jerry Stackhouse has better numbers, since Gordon is his teams best scorer, most clutch performer and arguably his teams best player (Hinrich actually is, but that’s neither here nor there) he gets the nod.
Runner-Up: Jerry Stackhouse, Dallas Mavericks.
Rookie of the Year: Emeka Okafor, Charlotte Bobcats. This was easily the hardest category to choose. While Gordon played in more meaningful games and his team ultimately made the playoffs, Okafor was the best rookie this year. Unlike Gordon, who was surrounded by a slew of talented players, Okafor was his teams number one option and if he had an off night his team was done for. Gordon had the luxury of coming off the bench and deferring to his teammates with confidence if he was on. Okafor had no of that and still put up great numbers. Side Note: I’m really not sold on Dwight Howard.
Runner-Ups: Ben Gordon, Andre Igoudla (76ers), Josh Smith (Hawks), Dwight Howard (Magic).
Defensive Player of the Year: Tayshaun Prince, Detroit Pistions. The best perimeter defender in the league, bar none.
Runner-Ups: Bruce Bowen, Ben Wallace, Tim Duncan, Andre Igoudla.
MVP: Shaquille O’Neal, Miami Heat. If I’m a betting man I say Steve Nash takes this one, but O’Neal rightfully should win it. He’s been far more dominate, and as good as Nash has been, he’s defensive liability will be the reason the Suns don’t win it all.
Runner-Ups: Allen Iverson, Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash, Tim Duncan.
All-NBA First Team:
G Allen Iverson + Steve Nash: For my money Iverson has been the best player in the league this year, but Shaq deserves MVP, if that makes any since. It’s hard to leave Lebron off this list, but I can’t justify bumping either Nash or Iverson.
F Dirk and Amare: I know I had Tim Duncan in my MVP voting, but he’s missed to many games to be first team, although he’s still prove that he’s top 5 in MVP voting.
C Shaq: Who the hell else would be here?
All-NBA SecondTeam:
G Lebron James + Ray Allen: James is the easy pick, since he’s 5b on my all-NBA list. Allen gets the nod here because he’s led the league’s most surprising team all year and all people talk about is his contract.
F T-Mac and KG: Even though KG’s teams bombed, he’s still had a great year. Also T-Mac is a 3 in my book, so yeah.
C: Duncan: Plays PF, but he’s a center at heart, that and no other center is worthy of this spot as far as I’m concerned.
Honorable Mention: Gilbert Arenas, Tayshuan Prince, Mike Bibby, Dwayne Wade, Grant Hill, Jason Kidd, Shawn Marion and Reggie Miller.
Playoff Predictions:
For now I’ll just do the first round, I’ll put out the rest of my predictions later.
East:
1 Miami v. 8 New Jersey: Everyone think the Net’s will make a series of this, I have to disagree. If RJ was at full health maybe, but the Heat are going to destroy the Nets inside. Heat in 5, 7 if Shaq misses more then one game.
4 Chicago Bulls v. Washington Wizards: I like the Wizards here. First off the Bulls are banged up, Deng and Curry won’t play at all, and despite the Bulls great defense, I believe they’ll be hard pressed to stop the Wiz’s trio. Washington in 6
3 Boston v. Indiana : This is a dream match up for Indiana. While B-Town has been hot as of late, they don’t match up well with the Pacers. I also have the feeling that Reggie is going to be lights out for the entire playoffs, and the Celtics don’t play D and Jermaine O’Neal is going to destroy Boston if he stays healthy. Add in the fact that the Pacers have a slew of players who can defend Paul Pierce as well as anyone, and the Pacers should be favored in this series. Plus they’re kinda due for some good karma. Pacers in 6
2 Detroit v. 7 Philadelphia: AI is great, but the Pistons are far better then the 76ers. Prince guards Iverson, and everyone for that matter, better then anyone in the league. I don’t see the 76ers winning a game in this series unless AI goes off for at least 40, which I don’t think he’ll be able to do against Prince. C-Webb will flop in the playoffs yet again, with the only difference this time around being that his team was expected to loose. Pistons in 4
West:
1 Phoenix v. Memphis: Memphis matches up very well with the Suns, but I think they lack the offensive punch to contend w/ Phoenix. Memphis is a team that’s built for the regular season, and I they don’t have what it takes to beat the Suns 4 times in 7 games. Suns in 6
4 Dallas v. Houston: This would be a great series if Juwan Howard wasn’t injured. Now the Rockets have no one who can defend Dirk. T-Mac will try, but I doubt he’ll guard Dirk that much considering the offensive burden he has to carry. While Dallas should be a clear favorite in this series, I think Jeff Van Gundy will out-coach Avery Johnson and his humongous lips enough to make this one interesting. Dallas in 7.
3 Seattle v. Sacramento: The Kings are banged up again in the playoffs, what else is new. Yet I still like Sac-town in this series, regardless of their health issues. Mike Bibby is at his best in the playoffs and he’s going to eat up the Supersonics PGs. I also don’t like the way Seattle backed in to the playoffs. While the Kings haven’t played great, the have far more playoff experience then the Sonics. Kings in 6
2 San Antonio v. Denver: The Nuggets have arguably been the best team in the NBA since the All-Star break, it’s too bad for them that they run into the Spurs in the first round. But this is definitely the best time to play the Spurs since TD is banged up and trying to regain his rhythm. Still, I like SA in this series, mainly b/c I think Carmello is gonna get locked down by the Spurs and then he’ll force the issue to much and take his team out of a couple of games. Denver will make is one interesting, and if Anthony doesn’t try to do too much then Denver could very well pull off the upset. But I think the safer bet is Carmello over doing it and crushing the Nuggets chances. Spurs in 6
That’s all for now, and for those of you who aren’t into sports, I apologize b/c this blog will be over taken by the NBA playoffs for the foreseeable future.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
A New Pope = A New Hope? (Not a Starwars Reference)
So the Catholic Church has finally elected a new Pope, and I for have a slew of questions. First off, could they have gotten someone a little older? I’m mean I know you gotta pay your dues and all, but 78. There’s a good chance he could die as he’s being ordained. And as Pope JP2 taught us, an aged, slightly insane (understatement) cynical Pope is not a good thing. JP2 obviously lost it about 5-6 years ago. So when he finally dies the Catholic Church seemingly decided to rush out to find someone who would be just as loony in the shortest amount of time. Obviously I see the advantage of having an older Pope, but seventy-freaking-eight. GAWDDAUMNNN. Are you telling me there’s no Bishops or Cardinals in the 60-65 age range that were adequate for the job?
Personally I’m not really sure how they choose a Pope, but in the future I think this method needs to change. I envision some sort of combo between American idol and the Dating Game. The Pope’s would be asked a series of questions and/or have to compete a series of trials and then the World could then text message in their votes for who the next Pope will be. Or they could have a slew of celebrity judges such as Bo Jackson, Gilbert Godfrey, Montell, Shannon Doherty, Dear Abby and the keyboardist for Bruce Springsteen’s E-Street Band and they would all collaborate and decide who the next Pope would be. Fox should definitely pick this and name it something along the lines of ‘Pope or Dope?’. I mean who wouldn’t watch this?
Until We Meet Again
* If you are Catholic and are offended by this I apologize, I’m just trying to be funny. Also, is it true you guys believe anal sex doesn’t result in a loss of virginity?
Personally I’m not really sure how they choose a Pope, but in the future I think this method needs to change. I envision some sort of combo between American idol and the Dating Game. The Pope’s would be asked a series of questions and/or have to compete a series of trials and then the World could then text message in their votes for who the next Pope will be. Or they could have a slew of celebrity judges such as Bo Jackson, Gilbert Godfrey, Montell, Shannon Doherty, Dear Abby and the keyboardist for Bruce Springsteen’s E-Street Band and they would all collaborate and decide who the next Pope would be. Fox should definitely pick this and name it something along the lines of ‘Pope or Dope?’. I mean who wouldn’t watch this?
Until We Meet Again
* If you are Catholic and are offended by this I apologize, I’m just trying to be funny. Also, is it true you guys believe anal sex doesn’t result in a loss of virginity?
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
And I claim I’m not excited with my life anymore
I really have nothing to say, haven’t felt any urge to post in the last few days either. But I feel obligated to post b/c of my readers who either read it at work (you know who you are) or just live in Tucson and have pathetic lives (sorry Randy). Anyway, here’s a story for you guys to read as you try to fill the void your own inadequacies have created.
So as those of you with a pulse may remember I recently purchased a ten dollar CD player do get by the weeks the followed that f***ing game which shall never be spoken of, and to ignore the outside world. For the most part this plan worked/is still working. But one day, the Friday before the Final Four, as I was walking to get my mail I hit a metaphorical bump in the rode. So as I was walking to get my mail, obviously listening to by CD player so as to avoid all the bandwagon Illinois fans, and people in general, when I saw a friend of mine. His name is Spencer, and he was one of three Illinois fans I met prior to this year. I see that he’s trying to say something to me, so I foolishly took out one of my ear buds. All I heard was “Illinois baby…” I then replaced my ear plug in my ear and way to loudly said “Eat a dick Spencer.”. As I turned back towards the mail room, I almost ran into a girl who looked as if she had just thrown up in her mouth. I said oh sorry, also probably too loud. She just looked at me as if I had just dropped her infant or killed and molested her grandparents. I just tried to walk away from the situation as quickly as possible. Now whenever I see this girl on campus I could swear she’s always telling her friends something to the effect of “…that’s the pervert right there…”. And that’s all she wrote.
Until We Meet Again
So as those of you with a pulse may remember I recently purchased a ten dollar CD player do get by the weeks the followed that f***ing game which shall never be spoken of, and to ignore the outside world. For the most part this plan worked/is still working. But one day, the Friday before the Final Four, as I was walking to get my mail I hit a metaphorical bump in the rode. So as I was walking to get my mail, obviously listening to by CD player so as to avoid all the bandwagon Illinois fans, and people in general, when I saw a friend of mine. His name is Spencer, and he was one of three Illinois fans I met prior to this year. I see that he’s trying to say something to me, so I foolishly took out one of my ear buds. All I heard was “Illinois baby…” I then replaced my ear plug in my ear and way to loudly said “Eat a dick Spencer.”. As I turned back towards the mail room, I almost ran into a girl who looked as if she had just thrown up in her mouth. I said oh sorry, also probably too loud. She just looked at me as if I had just dropped her infant or killed and molested her grandparents. I just tried to walk away from the situation as quickly as possible. Now whenever I see this girl on campus I could swear she’s always telling her friends something to the effect of “…that’s the pervert right there…”. And that’s all she wrote.
Until We Meet Again
Monday, April 18, 2005
Windmill, Windmill for the land. Learn forever hand in hand.
Well it’s Monday and it’s time for my newest installment of the hotlist. I’m going switch it up and try a little something new this time, so let’s have at it.
Things I’m hot on:
Gorillaz – Feel Good Inc.- I was told about this song by my boy Sam (Shout Out), and I haven’t stopped listening to it since I downloaded it on Thursday. I’ve played in on my computer 32 times (Itunes, I wasn’t actually counting myself.) and I’ve listen to it elsewhere, i.e. CD player, cars ect. ect., at least 20 more times. I’ll go out on a limb and predict this as the song of the summer. Just a fun, unique, catchy song that’s sure to put a bounce in your step and a wiggle in your hip, what ever the hell that means.. De La Soul raps in this song, and Danger Mouse produces the beats. With a lineup like that how could you not just stand back and say: DDDDAAAAAMMMMNNN.
Café Hookah – This ‘cafe’ is a small little Hookah bar right next door to a Vietnamese restaurant in down-town Evanston. North Western, the Big 10 school, is in Evanston. The down-town area is like a poor man’s version of Mills Ave. in Phoenix, pretty sexy place. Anyhow, I’m a fan of the hookah as is, but this place becomes frat guy central on the weekends, which always makes things more enjoyable. And the flip side of Frat guys, the sorority girls who come in with fake tans and horribly raspy voices, just a great place. The only down side was that they were playing some weird sh*t India music the whole time, which got old quickly, but all in all was a solid joint.
My school’s cafeteria now having popsicles in their freezer – (Warning, fattest blog post ever.) So my school now has popsicles, which I’m currently having a love affair with. So now I always make sure to wear cargo shorts to dinner. As I leave dinner, I stop by the freezer, which is similar to the ones that carry ice cream at blockbuster(you know, the small ones that are like a treasure chest, and yes that implies what you think it did.) and I stuff several popsicles in my ‘smut carrying pockets’*. Good times.
Spoon –Gimme Fiction – Better then Kill the Moonlight, real solid through out. My hand is starting to cramp up so I’ll be brief with this. Best songs are: I turn my camera on, My Mathematical Mind, I summon you and They Never got you. All in all, a very enjoyable record. Other musical shout outs(A.K.A Music I’m hot on, some are albums (A) others songs(S).): The Wrens – Meadowlands(A), Soul Position – 1 Love (S), Wilco – Company in my back (s), Paul Oakenfold – Starry Eyed Surprise (Song form the Diet Coke Commercial. Oh S.), Stereophonics – Maybe Tomorrow(s), Okkervil River – Kansas City (s), Lambchop – The Man who loved Beer (S, David Bryne’s cover maybe better, but I gotta give the shout out to the original.), Doves – Sky Starts Falling (s), Ivy – Tess Don’t Tell(s), Josh Rouse – Little Know It All (S), M. Ward -Hifi V.2(s), Danger Mouse – Grey Album (A), Mad Villain – Raid (s) and Clem Snide – Donna(s).
Things I’m not hot on ( a.k.a. The Not Hot List):
My school blocking most blogs: I can no longer read everyone else’s blogs b/c of my school’s gay ass filtering system. I got them to unblock my blog so I can view the comments. I next tried to get them to unblock Randy’s, but they refused, saying it had some sketchy material on it. I’m currently writing them a strongly worded letter.
Indians – First off, I’m not a racist person, racial maybe, but that’s a horse of a different color. Anyway, here’s a short list of things I hate about Indians...
Big F***ing heads: Seriously, their noggins are the size of watermelons, how do they stand up with out falling over b/c of their gigantic heads. Talk about top heavy.
Also, they have names like Whispering stream, and running bull. What the F is up with that?
Casino’s: I’d equate what Indian casino’s do to me every time I go there to sodomy, but that would be crude, and probably reassure most everyone, including my mother, that I’m gay. So I want go there.
Sahara – If you thinking about going to see this movie, don’t. Save yourself the time and just pound yourself in the balls for 2 ½ hrs. The experience will be about the same, except you’ll save the money you would have spent on this sh*tty excuse for a movie. Whoever made this movie deserves to be curbed.
Things I’m hot on, but really wish I wasn’t (a.k.a Guilty Pleasures):
Garbage – Run Baby Run – This songs really catchy and really good. But it’s also by Garbage. So keep the fact that I like this song on the DL. Word.
Wicker Park – Truthfully. I only rented it b/c I have a hardcore man-crush on Josh Hartnet (sp?). Seriously though, this movie was pretty alright. It could have been great/unforgettable if they had re-cast Matt Lilard’s part, and had a different ending, but all in all, I like it (sssshhh.)
Fandango ads – I swear on my life I’m kidding, I despise these ads. I just wanted to make sure everyone reading this was still awake.
Well that’s all for now, to all my faithful readers: Stay Black.
Until We Meet Again
* Smut carrying pockets got their name from back in the day. Whenever me and my (2 Live) crew would obtain any sort of product that some might view as offense or immoral, we’d put it into my cargo pockets. Hence the name smut pockets.
Things I’m hot on:
Gorillaz – Feel Good Inc.- I was told about this song by my boy Sam (Shout Out), and I haven’t stopped listening to it since I downloaded it on Thursday. I’ve played in on my computer 32 times (Itunes, I wasn’t actually counting myself.) and I’ve listen to it elsewhere, i.e. CD player, cars ect. ect., at least 20 more times. I’ll go out on a limb and predict this as the song of the summer. Just a fun, unique, catchy song that’s sure to put a bounce in your step and a wiggle in your hip, what ever the hell that means.. De La Soul raps in this song, and Danger Mouse produces the beats. With a lineup like that how could you not just stand back and say: DDDDAAAAAMMMMNNN.
Café Hookah – This ‘cafe’ is a small little Hookah bar right next door to a Vietnamese restaurant in down-town Evanston. North Western, the Big 10 school, is in Evanston. The down-town area is like a poor man’s version of Mills Ave. in Phoenix, pretty sexy place. Anyhow, I’m a fan of the hookah as is, but this place becomes frat guy central on the weekends, which always makes things more enjoyable. And the flip side of Frat guys, the sorority girls who come in with fake tans and horribly raspy voices, just a great place. The only down side was that they were playing some weird sh*t India music the whole time, which got old quickly, but all in all was a solid joint.
My school’s cafeteria now having popsicles in their freezer – (Warning, fattest blog post ever.) So my school now has popsicles, which I’m currently having a love affair with. So now I always make sure to wear cargo shorts to dinner. As I leave dinner, I stop by the freezer, which is similar to the ones that carry ice cream at blockbuster(you know, the small ones that are like a treasure chest, and yes that implies what you think it did.) and I stuff several popsicles in my ‘smut carrying pockets’*. Good times.
Spoon –Gimme Fiction – Better then Kill the Moonlight, real solid through out. My hand is starting to cramp up so I’ll be brief with this. Best songs are: I turn my camera on, My Mathematical Mind, I summon you and They Never got you. All in all, a very enjoyable record. Other musical shout outs(A.K.A Music I’m hot on, some are albums (A) others songs(S).): The Wrens – Meadowlands(A), Soul Position – 1 Love (S), Wilco – Company in my back (s), Paul Oakenfold – Starry Eyed Surprise (Song form the Diet Coke Commercial. Oh S.), Stereophonics – Maybe Tomorrow(s), Okkervil River – Kansas City (s), Lambchop – The Man who loved Beer (S, David Bryne’s cover maybe better, but I gotta give the shout out to the original.), Doves – Sky Starts Falling (s), Ivy – Tess Don’t Tell(s), Josh Rouse – Little Know It All (S), M. Ward -Hifi V.2(s), Danger Mouse – Grey Album (A), Mad Villain – Raid (s) and Clem Snide – Donna(s).
Things I’m not hot on ( a.k.a. The Not Hot List):
My school blocking most blogs: I can no longer read everyone else’s blogs b/c of my school’s gay ass filtering system. I got them to unblock my blog so I can view the comments. I next tried to get them to unblock Randy’s, but they refused, saying it had some sketchy material on it. I’m currently writing them a strongly worded letter.
Indians – First off, I’m not a racist person, racial maybe, but that’s a horse of a different color. Anyway, here’s a short list of things I hate about Indians...
Big F***ing heads: Seriously, their noggins are the size of watermelons, how do they stand up with out falling over b/c of their gigantic heads. Talk about top heavy.
Also, they have names like Whispering stream, and running bull. What the F is up with that?
Casino’s: I’d equate what Indian casino’s do to me every time I go there to sodomy, but that would be crude, and probably reassure most everyone, including my mother, that I’m gay. So I want go there.
Sahara – If you thinking about going to see this movie, don’t. Save yourself the time and just pound yourself in the balls for 2 ½ hrs. The experience will be about the same, except you’ll save the money you would have spent on this sh*tty excuse for a movie. Whoever made this movie deserves to be curbed.
Things I’m hot on, but really wish I wasn’t (a.k.a Guilty Pleasures):
Garbage – Run Baby Run – This songs really catchy and really good. But it’s also by Garbage. So keep the fact that I like this song on the DL. Word.
Wicker Park – Truthfully. I only rented it b/c I have a hardcore man-crush on Josh Hartnet (sp?). Seriously though, this movie was pretty alright. It could have been great/unforgettable if they had re-cast Matt Lilard’s part, and had a different ending, but all in all, I like it (sssshhh.)
Fandango ads – I swear on my life I’m kidding, I despise these ads. I just wanted to make sure everyone reading this was still awake.
Well that’s all for now, to all my faithful readers: Stay Black.
Until We Meet Again
* Smut carrying pockets got their name from back in the day. Whenever me and my (2 Live) crew would obtain any sort of product that some might view as offense or immoral, we’d put it into my cargo pockets. Hence the name smut pockets.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
The Grand Finale
Unless you’ve been hospitalized or in a cave the last few days, you should know I’m counting down my top 30 favorite songs… EVAH!!!! We’re now at the final 10. (Note: For 30-11, scroll down, this will also give you a better feel/explanation for what I’m doing here.)
10 . Desaperecidos – Man and Wife, the Latter (Damaged Goods): (All right from here on out they’re all obviously going to be 10’s, so I’ll just do the BT to save time.) BT: Summer Nights, but it works whenever.
Comment: I hate myself for loving this song. I hate the fact that a Conor Oberst led band is on my top 10 list. But this maybe the most kick ass song since ‘When the Levy Breaks’. I love this song in it’s entirety, and will always associate it with both my senior year of HS and Summer. Easily the sketchiest song on the Top 10 list.
9 Rhett Miller – Come Around: BT: Afternoon.
Comment: I probably have more nostalgia with this song then any other on this list. I love Rhett’s voice, lyrics, and hot bod. Add in the fact that I have a hard on for the Alt. Country the size of South Dakota and well, how could this song not be on my top 10 list.
8. Creeper Lagoon – Wonderful Love: BT: Mornings.
Comment: Everyone remembers the first crush they ever had on a girl, well this was my first crush on an indie song. Even though I listen to stuff the was more underground/indie, this was the first song I distinctly remember falling in love with. Just gorgeous.
7. Ugly Casanova – Barnacles: BT: Anytime, preferably warm weather.
Comment: Best opening line to a song EVER! When listening to this song I’m struck with vivid memories of the summer right before and all of my Senior Year of HS.
6. Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplanes over the Sea: BT: Summer, Afternoon.
Comment: For my money the best indie love song ever. One of the best love songs ever, irregardless of genres. And how can you not love a guy with the name Jeff Mangum.
5. Mason Jennings – California: BT: Night.
Comment: Mason is definitely one of favorite artists of all-time. So how could the first song of his that I fell in love with not be at least Top 5.
4. James – Just Like Fred Astair: BT: Mornings.
Comment: I don’t if I’ll ever be able to talk about what this song means to me. Seriously though, the James were the first indie band I listened to, even though I didn’t know they were indie nor what the hell indie was at the time. This song has it all, just trust me.
3. Modest Mouse – Broke: BT: Night.
Comment: The band that changed the way I look at music (That is before they got popular). How can this song not be on here. For it’s the song that started what was.is the most torrid love affair in my musical (and actual) life. So damn good.
2. Doves – Pounding: BT: Dusk.
Comment: Most will say this is to high, that I have way to big of a hard on for the Brit pop, and while I can’t refute the letter, I’ve got a few things to say to the first comment. First off, this song kicks a whole lot of ass. It hits in all the right places and keeps you spell bounded for the entire 4:47 of heavenly harmony. And second, it’s the greatest Brit rock song ever. So of course it’s going be real f*cking high on my list.
1. Wilco – Jesus Ect.: BT: Mornings
Comment: Yeah, that’s right. While other songs may be better in certain aspects, as a whole this song puts all others to shame. Just the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. 'Last cigarettes, all you can get, turning your orbit around.'
And so there you have it. Thank you all for following me on what I hope was a wonderful journey. Truthfully though, I can’t think of anyone who was the least bit interested in this, outside of the biggest version I know (Yeah Max Michael, that’s a shot at you!?!?!?!? Lard Ass.).
Until We Meet Again.
10 . Desaperecidos – Man and Wife, the Latter (Damaged Goods): (All right from here on out they’re all obviously going to be 10’s, so I’ll just do the BT to save time.) BT: Summer Nights, but it works whenever.
Comment: I hate myself for loving this song. I hate the fact that a Conor Oberst led band is on my top 10 list. But this maybe the most kick ass song since ‘When the Levy Breaks’. I love this song in it’s entirety, and will always associate it with both my senior year of HS and Summer. Easily the sketchiest song on the Top 10 list.
9 Rhett Miller – Come Around: BT: Afternoon.
Comment: I probably have more nostalgia with this song then any other on this list. I love Rhett’s voice, lyrics, and hot bod. Add in the fact that I have a hard on for the Alt. Country the size of South Dakota and well, how could this song not be on my top 10 list.
8. Creeper Lagoon – Wonderful Love: BT: Mornings.
Comment: Everyone remembers the first crush they ever had on a girl, well this was my first crush on an indie song. Even though I listen to stuff the was more underground/indie, this was the first song I distinctly remember falling in love with. Just gorgeous.
7. Ugly Casanova – Barnacles: BT: Anytime, preferably warm weather.
Comment: Best opening line to a song EVER! When listening to this song I’m struck with vivid memories of the summer right before and all of my Senior Year of HS.
6. Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplanes over the Sea: BT: Summer, Afternoon.
Comment: For my money the best indie love song ever. One of the best love songs ever, irregardless of genres. And how can you not love a guy with the name Jeff Mangum.
5. Mason Jennings – California: BT: Night.
Comment: Mason is definitely one of favorite artists of all-time. So how could the first song of his that I fell in love with not be at least Top 5.
4. James – Just Like Fred Astair: BT: Mornings.
Comment: I don’t if I’ll ever be able to talk about what this song means to me. Seriously though, the James were the first indie band I listened to, even though I didn’t know they were indie nor what the hell indie was at the time. This song has it all, just trust me.
3. Modest Mouse – Broke: BT: Night.
Comment: The band that changed the way I look at music (That is before they got popular). How can this song not be on here. For it’s the song that started what was.is the most torrid love affair in my musical (and actual) life. So damn good.
2. Doves – Pounding: BT: Dusk.
Comment: Most will say this is to high, that I have way to big of a hard on for the Brit pop, and while I can’t refute the letter, I’ve got a few things to say to the first comment. First off, this song kicks a whole lot of ass. It hits in all the right places and keeps you spell bounded for the entire 4:47 of heavenly harmony. And second, it’s the greatest Brit rock song ever. So of course it’s going be real f*cking high on my list.
1. Wilco – Jesus Ect.: BT: Mornings
Comment: Yeah, that’s right. While other songs may be better in certain aspects, as a whole this song puts all others to shame. Just the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. 'Last cigarettes, all you can get, turning your orbit around.'
And so there you have it. Thank you all for following me on what I hope was a wonderful journey. Truthfully though, I can’t think of anyone who was the least bit interested in this, outside of the biggest version I know (Yeah Max Michael, that’s a shot at you!?!?!?!? Lard Ass.).
Until We Meet Again.
A Continued Journey
As most of you should know, I’m counting down my favorite 30 songs. Today we’re going through 20-11. For 30-21, as well as an explanation for all this, scroll down to the first post of this series. Word.
20. Ugly Casanova – Hotcha Girls: SPF:9, NSF: 7, LSF: 10, BT = Fall, Dusk.
Comment: Great combination of F*cked up lyrics and gorgeous music. Word.
19. Iron + Wine – Bird Stealing Bread: SPF: 9, NSF: 8.5, LSF:10, BT: Rainy Days, Afternoons.
Comment: A whole lot of Beam’s songs could go here. This one’s here do to nostalgia.
18. Pixies – Hey: SPF:10, NSF: 7.5, LSF: 8, BT: Night(?)
Comment: And the whores like a choir go *** all night (this one could/should be higher).
17.Badly Drawn Boy – The Shinning: SPF: 9, NSF: 9.5, LSF: 8.5, BT: Winter, Snowy/Foggy Days.
Comment: Maybe the best winter time song ever. See 15 for more details on its placing.
16. Travis – Why Does it Always Rain on Me: SPF: 9, NSF: 10, LSF: 9, BT: Fall, Spring.
Comment: My first ‘indie’ band which I found on my own. Also, I’m a sucker for Brit Pop.
15. Badly Drawn Boy – Silent Sigh: SPF: 9.5, NSF:9, LSF: 9, BT: Night.
Comment: Could easily have been switched with #17, but in the end this one’s more poppy, and I’m a whore for a good pop song.
14. Ryan Adams – Come Pick Me Up: SPF: 10, NSF: 10, LSF: 10, BT: Summer Nights.
Comment: I know, I know. 3 Ryan Adams songs, I know. And all 10’s, how is it not higher, at least top 10. Well these are all good questions that will be answered shortly…
13. James – Out to Get You: SPF: 10, NSF: 10, LSF: 10, BT: Night.
Comment: Another fringe top 10er along with #14, one of the most heart wrenching songs (Also like #14)… EVAH!!!!!
12. Decemberists – Engine Driver: SPF: 9.5, NSF: 9.5?, LSF: 10, BT: Still haven’t decided.
Comment: This one’s too high, should be 14 at the most, maybe lower. But I love this song and I’m too lazy to change my Itunes playlist which I’m working off of for this list. Great song though, definitely in the 17-12 area. It’s hard to rank this song since I just got about 3-4 months ago.
11. Van Morrison – Tupelo Honey: SPF: 10, NSF: 9, LSF: 10, BT: Night.
Comment: This is a sure fire top 10er, but since I just discovered it a couple of weeks ago, I can’t put it up there. (Note: Since my brother Max prolly just had an aneurysm reading the last sentence, I should note that I did not discover this song myself. In this case discover means listening.) Might be the best old-school love song…EVAH!!!!!
That’s all for today. Coming soon: The final 10 (I still haven’t decided if I’m going to do all 10 at once, or 10-6 and then the final 5. I guess will cross that bridge when we come to it.)
20. Ugly Casanova – Hotcha Girls: SPF:9, NSF: 7, LSF: 10, BT = Fall, Dusk.
Comment: Great combination of F*cked up lyrics and gorgeous music. Word.
19. Iron + Wine – Bird Stealing Bread: SPF: 9, NSF: 8.5, LSF:10, BT: Rainy Days, Afternoons.
Comment: A whole lot of Beam’s songs could go here. This one’s here do to nostalgia.
18. Pixies – Hey: SPF:10, NSF: 7.5, LSF: 8, BT: Night(?)
Comment: And the whores like a choir go *** all night (this one could/should be higher).
17.Badly Drawn Boy – The Shinning: SPF: 9, NSF: 9.5, LSF: 8.5, BT: Winter, Snowy/Foggy Days.
Comment: Maybe the best winter time song ever. See 15 for more details on its placing.
16. Travis – Why Does it Always Rain on Me: SPF: 9, NSF: 10, LSF: 9, BT: Fall, Spring.
Comment: My first ‘indie’ band which I found on my own. Also, I’m a sucker for Brit Pop.
15. Badly Drawn Boy – Silent Sigh: SPF: 9.5, NSF:9, LSF: 9, BT: Night.
Comment: Could easily have been switched with #17, but in the end this one’s more poppy, and I’m a whore for a good pop song.
14. Ryan Adams – Come Pick Me Up: SPF: 10, NSF: 10, LSF: 10, BT: Summer Nights.
Comment: I know, I know. 3 Ryan Adams songs, I know. And all 10’s, how is it not higher, at least top 10. Well these are all good questions that will be answered shortly…
13. James – Out to Get You: SPF: 10, NSF: 10, LSF: 10, BT: Night.
Comment: Another fringe top 10er along with #14, one of the most heart wrenching songs (Also like #14)… EVAH!!!!!
12. Decemberists – Engine Driver: SPF: 9.5, NSF: 9.5?, LSF: 10, BT: Still haven’t decided.
Comment: This one’s too high, should be 14 at the most, maybe lower. But I love this song and I’m too lazy to change my Itunes playlist which I’m working off of for this list. Great song though, definitely in the 17-12 area. It’s hard to rank this song since I just got about 3-4 months ago.
11. Van Morrison – Tupelo Honey: SPF: 10, NSF: 9, LSF: 10, BT: Night.
Comment: This is a sure fire top 10er, but since I just discovered it a couple of weeks ago, I can’t put it up there. (Note: Since my brother Max prolly just had an aneurysm reading the last sentence, I should note that I did not discover this song myself. In this case discover means listening.) Might be the best old-school love song…EVAH!!!!!
That’s all for today. Coming soon: The final 10 (I still haven’t decided if I’m going to do all 10 at once, or 10-6 and then the final 5. I guess will cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Hallelujah
Every once in a while a man feels whole, complete. He feels as if the world stops turning and all the stars of align to shine just on him. For me that moment was around 6:45-7:10 on Tuesday the 12th of April, 2005. My day had been pretty sh*tty so far. I had gotten free tickets to a Cubs game, but it was rained out. F*** the Midwest. And a slew off other misfortunes had befalling me this day as well. So as I sat down to play game 3 of my divisional series against the Mets (I’m the Diamondbacks), I had little reason to expect anything good to happen. But when it was all said and done as the dust settled and the smoke cleared, God was smiling down on me. Casey Fossum, with me at the helm, pitched the game of his young life, of any life for that matter. Despite his offense only giving him a single run of support, Casey came out victorious. And he did something that’s as rare as finding a girl in Illinois with a real tan, he pitched a perfect game!!!! That’s right, he faced 27 batters and didn’t walk a single one of them, nor did he allow any of them to reach base. Following the game Casey was immediately signed to a luxurious 3 year contract as D-Backs management hopes for future days like the current one. Although it’s unlikely that any will be as great as today.
- Back tomorrow as I’ll continue with my music list, which everyone seemingly could give 2 shits about. Well tough luck, it’s my (expletive deleted) blog.
Until We Meet Again
- Back tomorrow as I’ll continue with my music list, which everyone seemingly could give 2 shits about. Well tough luck, it’s my (expletive deleted) blog.
Until We Meet Again
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
A song to pass the time
So I was bored as sh*t in class the other day when I came up with a brilliant game/thingy to do. I decide to list my top 10 favorite songs of all-time. But before I did that I need a list to work off of so I listed my 30 favorite songs in no particular order, and then ranked them. My ranking system was as complex as the electoral college and the BCS combined. I’d give some songs the nod over another if I’ve listen to them longer, I called this the Staying Power Factor(SPF). Nostalgia (NSF) was also highly factored into this list. And probably the most important factor into this list was listenability(LSF), a word I made up. What listenability means is this: do you have to be in a certain mood to listen to the song, certain weather or season and so on and so forth. This game made two class periods blow by. For the 2+ hrs I was in class, it felt no longer then 20 minutes. I recommend this game to everyone as an incredible way to pass time. Anyhow, for the next few days we’re going to be running through my top 30 songs. I know incredibly pretentious and self absorbed, but this my blog, so deal with it. Today we have 30-21.
(Note: All scales are 1-10, BT= Best time to listen to it, the rest of the keys are explained above.)
30. Lou Reed – Coney Island Baby: SPF: 10, NSF: 6. LSF: 6, BT: Summer Nights.
Comment: My favorite Lou Reed song, so it makes the list.
29. Stereophonics – Have a Nice Day: SPF: 8.5, NSF: 9, LSF: 7.5, BT: Morning
Comment: Best song to wake up to… EVAH!!!!!??!?!?!?!
28. Ryan Adams – Call Me on your way back home: SPF: 9, NSF:8.5, LSF: 8.5 BT: Night (Any season).
Comment: Arguably the best harmonica in any song I’ve ever heard. And as my boyz and I decided in HS, any song w/ a harmonica is better song for it. So yeah.
27. Mason Jennings – Hospitals and Jails: SPF: 9, NSF: 7, LSF: 8, BT: Summer @ Dusk.
Comment: There were about 5-8 Mason songs I wanted to put here, in the end I’m not sure how I came up with HJ. Maybe that’s why, the initials!!!!
26. Boo Radleys – Wishing I was Skinny: SPF: 10, NSF: 9, LSF: 8.5, BT: Morning, warm weather.
Comment: Incredible love song whose title doubles as my first wish if I ever found a genie.
25. Creeper Lagoon – Wrecking Ball: SPF: 9, NSF: 10, LSF: 7.5, BT: Summer.
Comment: For my money, one of the best power pop songs… EVAH!!!!!!!!
24. Weezer – Tired of Sex: STF: 8.5, NSF: 10, LSF: 8, BT: Night.
Comment: The soundtrack of my sophomore year of HS was Pinkerton; this songs rocks major ass.
23. Modest Mouse – Talking Sh*t about a Pretty Sunset: SPF: 10, NSF: 8.5, LSF: 9, BT: Sunset (NO SH*T).
Comment: Should/could be higher, but I got distracted in class, and put it here.
22. Wilco – Theologian: SPF: 9.5, NSF: 6, LSF: 9.5, BT: Summer, Mornings, Afternoon.
Comment: Has great potential to move up the list, one of my favorite songs to dance to after tests/finals/work. And no, I;m not gay. I just love to dance.
21. Ryan Adams – From You to Me: SPF: 8.5, NTF: 8, LSF: 9.9, BT: Summer Nights.
Comment: I love this song, but if I did this again this is the one most likely to get bumped from the list. Still a great song though.
That’s it for today. Check back soon (i.e. Tomorrow) for 20-11 and the rest of the list.
(Note: All scales are 1-10, BT= Best time to listen to it, the rest of the keys are explained above.)
30. Lou Reed – Coney Island Baby: SPF: 10, NSF: 6. LSF: 6, BT: Summer Nights.
Comment: My favorite Lou Reed song, so it makes the list.
29. Stereophonics – Have a Nice Day: SPF: 8.5, NSF: 9, LSF: 7.5, BT: Morning
Comment: Best song to wake up to… EVAH!!!!!??!?!?!?!
28. Ryan Adams – Call Me on your way back home: SPF: 9, NSF:8.5, LSF: 8.5 BT: Night (Any season).
Comment: Arguably the best harmonica in any song I’ve ever heard. And as my boyz and I decided in HS, any song w/ a harmonica is better song for it. So yeah.
27. Mason Jennings – Hospitals and Jails: SPF: 9, NSF: 7, LSF: 8, BT: Summer @ Dusk.
Comment: There were about 5-8 Mason songs I wanted to put here, in the end I’m not sure how I came up with HJ. Maybe that’s why, the initials!!!!
26. Boo Radleys – Wishing I was Skinny: SPF: 10, NSF: 9, LSF: 8.5, BT: Morning, warm weather.
Comment: Incredible love song whose title doubles as my first wish if I ever found a genie.
25. Creeper Lagoon – Wrecking Ball: SPF: 9, NSF: 10, LSF: 7.5, BT: Summer.
Comment: For my money, one of the best power pop songs… EVAH!!!!!!!!
24. Weezer – Tired of Sex: STF: 8.5, NSF: 10, LSF: 8, BT: Night.
Comment: The soundtrack of my sophomore year of HS was Pinkerton; this songs rocks major ass.
23. Modest Mouse – Talking Sh*t about a Pretty Sunset: SPF: 10, NSF: 8.5, LSF: 9, BT: Sunset (NO SH*T).
Comment: Should/could be higher, but I got distracted in class, and put it here.
22. Wilco – Theologian: SPF: 9.5, NSF: 6, LSF: 9.5, BT: Summer, Mornings, Afternoon.
Comment: Has great potential to move up the list, one of my favorite songs to dance to after tests/finals/work. And no, I;m not gay. I just love to dance.
21. Ryan Adams – From You to Me: SPF: 8.5, NTF: 8, LSF: 9.9, BT: Summer Nights.
Comment: I love this song, but if I did this again this is the one most likely to get bumped from the list. Still a great song though.
That’s it for today. Check back soon (i.e. Tomorrow) for 20-11 and the rest of the list.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
A humble review, by a modest man
So last Thursday I went down town to see Okkervil River and the Decemberists. Since all by friends here are a combination of cheap, poor, busy or have a surplus of sand in their vaginas, I went to this show alone. This predicament turned out to be bitter sweet. While it was nice to not have to worry about someone else are making pointless conversation, and the show was far more relaxing because of this, it was unfortunate that I had no one to share the memories with. Anyhow, here’s the breakdown of how the show went.
Okkervil River:
Firs off, these guys were real good. I was upset with myself for not being more familiar with this bands discography. I also felt bad for them for a couple of reasons. One reason, this was one of the goofiest looking bands I’ve ever seen. Most of their stage mannerism seemed forced, like they were trying to look like what they sought a rock band should look like. Also, their lead singer looked like a coked-out Conor Oberst combined with the emo kids answer to Robert Smith (Now I know what you’re thinking: But Calvin, isn’t Conor Oberst the emo kids answer to Robert Smith? Well yes, but…). Okkervil’s keyboardist was defenitly ready for this show, as it appeared that he had spent the entire day in his parent’s basement on Star Trek message boards and searching for lost episodes of Babylon 5 all the while he wrote Back to the Future fan fic. Seriously, I thought they got this kid from the set of some teen comedy. He looked like the typical nerdy kid in that movie who gets got beating off in some disgusting way. The rest of the band was pretty normal, except for the guitar/bass player who looked to be at least 12 years older then everyone else in the band. Eerie. The other reason I felt sorry for them is while they were good, the Decemberist were a whole lot better.
Best Song: Easily It Ends with a Fall. They sped the song up a little for the live show, and it still doesn’t miss a beat.
Song that you knew of before, but after they played in live you couldn’t stop listening to it: From now on this will be know as ‘That Song’. Every good band has one song that which is pretty good, but seeing them play it live makes the song a 100 times better. I can’t remember the name of the song for Okkervil that did it for me, something to due with Anna in the title. (After some investigative work, the song might have been Auntie Alice, I’m pretty sure it was.)
Biggest Letdown: That they didn’t play The velocity of Saul at the time off his Conversion, which is arguably their best song.
Decemberists:
Wow, just wow. One of the better live shows I’ve ever been to. The band came out dressed like, well I don’t really know but they were all wearing khaki colored over jackets. The band looked pretty normal, at least in comparison the Okkervil. And they also have a female violinist, who also sings harmony lines, who you’ll fall in love with by the end of the show.
Best Song: Engine Driver. While some many of their songs were great, this one was the big winner. This song is quickly climbing the charts as one of my favorite songs ever (Foreshadowing of future posts/updates.). And after seeing it live, it just gets better. This song narrowly beat out Red Right Ankle which Meloy played solo.
“That Song”: July, July! This song is even better live, due to the female singing back up vocals, which makes the harmony line even better.
Biggest Letdown: This one’s a toss up. I can’t decide if it was that they didn’t play Mya Goldberg or I was meant for the stage, or the fact that they ended with the Tain.
Until We Meet Again
Okkervil River:
Firs off, these guys were real good. I was upset with myself for not being more familiar with this bands discography. I also felt bad for them for a couple of reasons. One reason, this was one of the goofiest looking bands I’ve ever seen. Most of their stage mannerism seemed forced, like they were trying to look like what they sought a rock band should look like. Also, their lead singer looked like a coked-out Conor Oberst combined with the emo kids answer to Robert Smith (Now I know what you’re thinking: But Calvin, isn’t Conor Oberst the emo kids answer to Robert Smith? Well yes, but…). Okkervil’s keyboardist was defenitly ready for this show, as it appeared that he had spent the entire day in his parent’s basement on Star Trek message boards and searching for lost episodes of Babylon 5 all the while he wrote Back to the Future fan fic. Seriously, I thought they got this kid from the set of some teen comedy. He looked like the typical nerdy kid in that movie who gets got beating off in some disgusting way. The rest of the band was pretty normal, except for the guitar/bass player who looked to be at least 12 years older then everyone else in the band. Eerie. The other reason I felt sorry for them is while they were good, the Decemberist were a whole lot better.
Best Song: Easily It Ends with a Fall. They sped the song up a little for the live show, and it still doesn’t miss a beat.
Song that you knew of before, but after they played in live you couldn’t stop listening to it: From now on this will be know as ‘That Song’. Every good band has one song that which is pretty good, but seeing them play it live makes the song a 100 times better. I can’t remember the name of the song for Okkervil that did it for me, something to due with Anna in the title. (After some investigative work, the song might have been Auntie Alice, I’m pretty sure it was.)
Biggest Letdown: That they didn’t play The velocity of Saul at the time off his Conversion, which is arguably their best song.
Decemberists:
Wow, just wow. One of the better live shows I’ve ever been to. The band came out dressed like, well I don’t really know but they were all wearing khaki colored over jackets. The band looked pretty normal, at least in comparison the Okkervil. And they also have a female violinist, who also sings harmony lines, who you’ll fall in love with by the end of the show.
Best Song: Engine Driver. While some many of their songs were great, this one was the big winner. This song is quickly climbing the charts as one of my favorite songs ever (Foreshadowing of future posts/updates.). And after seeing it live, it just gets better. This song narrowly beat out Red Right Ankle which Meloy played solo.
“That Song”: July, July! This song is even better live, due to the female singing back up vocals, which makes the harmony line even better.
Biggest Letdown: This one’s a toss up. I can’t decide if it was that they didn’t play Mya Goldberg or I was meant for the stage, or the fact that they ended with the Tain.
Until We Meet Again
Thursday, April 07, 2005
The Gymnast, High Above the Ground
Well I’m going to see the Decemberists and Okkervil River tonight, which means I need to give you all my newest Hot List installment.
Things I’m hot on: Uproar.com’s Family Feud game (This game will own your soul, seriously it deserves it’s own post), Myself, Europe – The Final Countdown, Bruce Webber’s voice, The Real Cancun (still), Joe Firstman, Randy’s blog (chooseyourownmanifesto.blogspot.com), I ♥ Huckabees (Maybe), Sin City, Bandannas (a.k.a. Bandizzys), Sunrises, The Onion’s news in short on Terri Shiavo (Note: Extremely Tasteless), MVP Baseball 2005 for Gamecube and Johnny Cash’s cover of One.
Things I’m not hot on ( a.k.a. The Not Hot List): 50 Cent – The Candy Shop, Chris Rodgers, Jason Hughes, My tool box friend who looks like the lead singer of Maroon 5 (Or so he’s told), JLO’s a$$, Shawn Green’s season ending injury in my MYP Baseball 2005 dynasty, The fact that Shaq’s biological didn’t bother, Joan Bonvicini, Asians (still) and Beck’s new album Guero.
Things I’m hot on, but really wish I wasn’t (a.k.a Guilty Pleasures): The Coach K commercial where the re-live Laetner’s shot in the guy’s driveway (ya know which one), Using the word ‘pooper’ in a sexual way, Fake Emo glasses, Ebay, Weezer, Justin Timberlake, Ashlee Simpson – Pieces of Me, Baseball season and the war on terrorism.
Until We Meet Again
Things I’m hot on: Uproar.com’s Family Feud game (This game will own your soul, seriously it deserves it’s own post), Myself, Europe – The Final Countdown, Bruce Webber’s voice, The Real Cancun (still), Joe Firstman, Randy’s blog (chooseyourownmanifesto.blogspot.com), I ♥ Huckabees (Maybe), Sin City, Bandannas (a.k.a. Bandizzys), Sunrises, The Onion’s news in short on Terri Shiavo (Note: Extremely Tasteless), MVP Baseball 2005 for Gamecube and Johnny Cash’s cover of One.
Things I’m not hot on ( a.k.a. The Not Hot List): 50 Cent – The Candy Shop, Chris Rodgers, Jason Hughes, My tool box friend who looks like the lead singer of Maroon 5 (Or so he’s told), JLO’s a$$, Shawn Green’s season ending injury in my MYP Baseball 2005 dynasty, The fact that Shaq’s biological didn’t bother, Joan Bonvicini, Asians (still) and Beck’s new album Guero.
Things I’m hot on, but really wish I wasn’t (a.k.a Guilty Pleasures): The Coach K commercial where the re-live Laetner’s shot in the guy’s driveway (ya know which one), Using the word ‘pooper’ in a sexual way, Fake Emo glasses, Ebay, Weezer, Justin Timberlake, Ashlee Simpson – Pieces of Me, Baseball season and the war on terrorism.
Until We Meet Again
Monday, April 04, 2005
Sorry I broke your heart… I was 17
Disclaimer: While the following story is true, some points have been exaggerated (i.e. the first sentence) for comedic and dramatic effect.
When I was a Senior in high school the only think I hated more then my parents and being sober (hyperbole) was being in class. I would take any and every excuse to get out of class. I’d average 4.73 bathroom breaks per day. So one day, a day not unlike any other, I decided to go to the men’s water closet before heading off to my first class (I would also show up late to classes’ b/c I didn’t give a hell). So I walk into the bathroom and find some kid brushing his teeth. Wierd Sh*t uh. Anyhow, this kid was a junior and for security reason’s he’ll be called “Mike D”. Anyhow, so there’s Mike D brushing his teeth in the men’s bathroom. It was one of those days when I had the music in me, so I was singing to myself and playing some sort of air instrument as I walked into the bathroom, I think it was air drums, but that’s neither here nor there. So as I walk in the bathroom, playing air drums, I spot this go-tard brushing his teeth, but I decide to let it slide and not say anything. So he then turns and sees me, still playing air drums as I walk into the stall, and says “What are you pumping yourself up before you go (to the bathroom)?” I turn to see this goober with the biggest sh*t eating grin I’ve ever seen. So I drop my face and pretend to be sad. I get real serious and say to the kid:
“No you a$$-hole, I have tourette's!”
And all of a sudden he stops smiling and his face drops. Now I’m thinking to myself, good one bro, you made this guy feel bad and you don’t tourette's. Woot. Unfortunately that was not the case, Mike D’s face had dropped for a reason other then guilt. After a few seconds he looks back up at me, his face deadly serious and says:
“Well actually you’re the a$$-hole, because I really do have tourette's”
At first I just stood there and wonder if this kid had pulled a fast one on me. I soon realized that he had not, because he wasn’t quick or clever enough to do so. So instead of doing the humane thing and making an over the top apology, I just stated laughing at the kid. He just stood there, ready to cry and stared at me. I then shut the door to the stall, so as to put some barrier between me and him. It didn’t help as he could still hear me laughing at him for his tourette's, but at least he was no longer staring at me.
And so the moral of the story is: be careful who you joke with, they may have tourette's.
Until We Meet Again
When I was a Senior in high school the only think I hated more then my parents and being sober (hyperbole) was being in class. I would take any and every excuse to get out of class. I’d average 4.73 bathroom breaks per day. So one day, a day not unlike any other, I decided to go to the men’s water closet before heading off to my first class (I would also show up late to classes’ b/c I didn’t give a hell). So I walk into the bathroom and find some kid brushing his teeth. Wierd Sh*t uh. Anyhow, this kid was a junior and for security reason’s he’ll be called “Mike D”. Anyhow, so there’s Mike D brushing his teeth in the men’s bathroom. It was one of those days when I had the music in me, so I was singing to myself and playing some sort of air instrument as I walked into the bathroom, I think it was air drums, but that’s neither here nor there. So as I walk in the bathroom, playing air drums, I spot this go-tard brushing his teeth, but I decide to let it slide and not say anything. So he then turns and sees me, still playing air drums as I walk into the stall, and says “What are you pumping yourself up before you go (to the bathroom)?” I turn to see this goober with the biggest sh*t eating grin I’ve ever seen. So I drop my face and pretend to be sad. I get real serious and say to the kid:
“No you a$$-hole, I have tourette's!”
And all of a sudden he stops smiling and his face drops. Now I’m thinking to myself, good one bro, you made this guy feel bad and you don’t tourette's. Woot. Unfortunately that was not the case, Mike D’s face had dropped for a reason other then guilt. After a few seconds he looks back up at me, his face deadly serious and says:
“Well actually you’re the a$$-hole, because I really do have tourette's”
At first I just stood there and wonder if this kid had pulled a fast one on me. I soon realized that he had not, because he wasn’t quick or clever enough to do so. So instead of doing the humane thing and making an over the top apology, I just stated laughing at the kid. He just stood there, ready to cry and stared at me. I then shut the door to the stall, so as to put some barrier between me and him. It didn’t help as he could still hear me laughing at him for his tourette's, but at least he was no longer staring at me.
And so the moral of the story is: be careful who you joke with, they may have tourette's.
Until We Meet Again
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