Sorry I broke your heart… I was 17

Disclaimer: While the following story is true, some points have been exaggerated (i.e. the first sentence) for comedic and dramatic effect.

When I was a Senior in high school the only think I hated more then my parents and being sober (hyperbole) was being in class. I would take any and every excuse to get out of class. I’d average 4.73 bathroom breaks per day. So one day, a day not unlike any other, I decided to go to the men’s water closet before heading off to my first class (I would also show up late to classes’ b/c I didn’t give a hell). So I walk into the bathroom and find some kid brushing his teeth. Wierd Sh*t uh. Anyhow, this kid was a junior and for security reason’s he’ll be called “Mike D”. Anyhow, so there’s Mike D brushing his teeth in the men’s bathroom. It was one of those days when I had the music in me, so I was singing to myself and playing some sort of air instrument as I walked into the bathroom, I think it was air drums, but that’s neither here nor there. So as I walk in the bathroom, playing air drums, I spot this go-tard brushing his teeth, but I decide to let it slide and not say anything. So he then turns and sees me, still playing air drums as I walk into the stall, and says “What are you pumping yourself up before you go (to the bathroom)?” I turn to see this goober with the biggest sh*t eating grin I’ve ever seen. So I drop my face and pretend to be sad. I get real serious and say to the kid:

“No you a$$-hole, I have tourette's!”

And all of a sudden he stops smiling and his face drops. Now I’m thinking to myself, good one bro, you made this guy feel bad and you don’t tourette's. Woot. Unfortunately that was not the case, Mike D’s face had dropped for a reason other then guilt. After a few seconds he looks back up at me, his face deadly serious and says:

“Well actually you’re the a$$-hole, because I really do have tourette's”

At first I just stood there and wonder if this kid had pulled a fast one on me. I soon realized that he had not, because he wasn’t quick or clever enough to do so. So instead of doing the humane thing and making an over the top apology, I just stated laughing at the kid. He just stood there, ready to cry and stared at me. I then shut the door to the stall, so as to put some barrier between me and him. It didn’t help as he could still hear me laughing at him for his tourette's, but at least he was no longer staring at me.

And so the moral of the story is: be careful who you joke with, they may have tourette's.

Until We Meet Again