Maybe I’ll See You Again… When the fighting stops.

As the majority of you read this, I’ll be in a carembarking a 28 hour trip from Chi-Town to T-Town. Iregret to inform you all that this will be my lastpost, at least until August 23rd or so. Over thesummer I’ve taken a job as a camp counselor and willbe unable to reach a computer daily or even weekly. Iwant to take this moment to thank of all of you forstopping by, reading my thoughts, stories andquarries. And for commenting and all that. You’ve allhelped make this blog not only one of a kind, but thebest blog EVAH!!!!!! Now before you start to patyourself on the back, don’t fool yourself intobelieving that you had to much to do with it. We allknow that I was the master and architect of this workof genius. I just thought I’d allow for a moment ofhumility and let you all know that, like 2pac said,you are appreciated. Well I’m off, I’ll see you all inlate August.

I'm Wide Awake. It's Morning

So against my better judgment I recently purchased Bright Eyes' new CD I’m Wide Awake. It’s Morning. Once upon a time Bright Eyes was one of my favorite bands, then I got over the fact that my father didn’t hug me enough when I was younger. But seriously, Bright Eyes and I had a bad break up after Conor Oberst went all emo and sh*t on me in a concert in Tucson. I’m still not entirely ready to talk about all that went on. Needless to say Bright Eyes only played 10 songs, including encore, maybe even less. I’ve been bitter ever since. So when I saw the CD for 9.99 at Best Buy, I was skeptical to say the least. I had heard that the CD was very good from a number of people. Plus I was in a good mood b/c school was almost done and I felt like buying a CD. And it was either this or the new Dave Matthews*. So I bought the CD and was first taken in by the stunning art work. The Cover, the liner notes and the CD itself are all very beautiful. And as for the CD itself… I absolutely love it. Now this isn’t just some old school, guilty pleasure kick I’m on, this CD is real farking good. It’s all acoustic based folk, which Oberst pulls off masterfully. If he sticks to just this style, and Desaparecidos' style, he could actually have a respectable career. This is far and away the least pretentious and melodramatic Conor has ever been; and he's toned down on the bravado too. Even his superiority complex lines, which are few and far between**, are far more subtle this time around. I’m still flabbergasted by how much I like this album. The highlight tracks are Road to Joy, which cleverly samples Beethoven’s Ode to Joy, First Day of My Life, Poison Oak, Train Under Water and We Are Nowhere And It's Now. All in all a very solid album, which I begrudgedly recommend to all of you.

Until We Meet Again

* It’s a joke, I F---ing swear.
** When compared to past Bright Eyes’ Albums

I Got 99 Problems...

We all know how the phrase ends. And I think we can all relate, in some way or another. Some of you may remember that I recently thought that I was either gay or A sexual, but recent events and some deep soul searching have showed me the error in my assumption. So here it goes. In the bane of Randy and that chunky Asdell kid, I’m going to write about love (or lack thereof in my case. LOL)

Anyhow, I went through a stretch a few weeks back where, regardless of how hard I tried, I couldn’t find any girls attractive. Now before your mind starts rushing off in the wrong direction, let me enlighten you. This doesn’t mean I was put off by the female form. I still found girls attractive, but I couldn’t find any worthy of pursuit or daydreaming, and things of that nature. So I began to wonder whether or not I was gay or something like that. I thought about it, and I realized two things that convinced me I was neither gay nor A sexual. First, the thought of intercourse with another man absolutely disgusts me. I’d rather die some slow excruciating death then give or receive, well you know, that S word. And as for being A sexual, the thought of a life with out any sexual gratification is equally as terrifying to me. So why then could I not find a fefe* to have a crush on? I eventually figured it out. My standards, despite being extremely brief, are way too high. I only want a girl who’s attractive, smart, and not a complete emotional basket case. I know, I know, I’m f*cked. Because the only females I find that aren’t emotional wrecks are either A.) Similar and looks and mannerism to that of a dude. Or B.) Painstakingly shallow. So what’s a jigga to do? Should I compromise my standards and beliefs or hold out hope that there’s a girl out there who can actually meet my standards? I realize the latter is about as futile as believing and Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and that not all sailors are gay**. I guess it’s just hopeless. To be honest, all I really want is a girl to kiss me on the cheek when I leave, like in those old timey movies. Is that too much to ask for? I don't think it is. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m now going to slice my wrist why listening to Air Supply.

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Until We Meet Again

* Midwest slang for a lady.
** Seriously, does anyone know or ever seen a straight sailor? That’s what I thought.

Everything That’s Beautiful Dies Too Soon

It’s been awhile this I posted anything of substance, and I’m still not sure if I have anything I need to say. My finals week is coming up, so this blog will be updated far less then normal (or far more as I’ll use it as a means of procrastination, we’ll just have to wait and see.) My advertiser recently mentioned to me that readership of my blog has gone down. I told them all not to worry. Because for a while you all can go off and get your cheap laughs at Randy, or give Luke your pity laughs. But in the end, when it’s all said and done and the dust settles* you’ll all come back to me. Because we all know that your love affair with other blogs won’t last long. Eventually you’ll realize those other blogs are just flavors of the weeks and you’ll come rushing back to me. The comfort you felt here that unnerved you so much it caused all of you to flee is something you’ll deeply miss. You’ll return to me dear reader because I’m the only one who knows your true self. I’m the only blogger who allows you to unwind and be who you want to be, not who other bloggers are trying to force you to be. So when you realize you’re not running to someone, just running away from the place where you feel safe**, let me be the first to say: Welcome Back.

Until We Meet Again

* Did I forget any clichés?
** Which dear reader, is just plain wrong. Why would you run from safety? The world is a cold dark place. Come back and allow me to be the shinny beckon of light. Forget your worries and relax, I’m going make everything ok

Top 5 ‘Old School’ Video Games

5. Mega Man 2 – Any of the Mega Man games could go here, but 2 was always my fav.

4. Mario Kart – For either the 64 or SNES, this is still one of the best multiplayer games.

3. NBA Live ’96 – Still my favorite basketball game to date, so damn good.

2. Super Mario Bros. 3 – Best of the best in the Mario games.

1. Tecmo Super Bowl – I miss this game.

Who would want to be such an asshole

As most of you may know (ok who am I kidding, only my friends and family read this blog, all of you know this), I’m a Christian. But despite my faith, I think I hate evangelical Christians more then any other sect. Now I’m generalizing of course, I don’t hate all Christians, but few groups agitate me more then Christians. I’ve compiled a list of the things Christian say and do that piss me off the most. Here are some exerts from my list.

‘Lady in Waiting’ – Not sure if this is even originally a Christian saying, but Christians are currently the only people dense enough to use this term. Needless to say it pisses me off.

‘Here comes trouble’ – Old men at my church always say this when either I walk up or any kids with in the age range from 11-19. It’s old men like this that have forced me to sleep in on Sundays.

Carmen – Maybe the worst musician of this or any era. Yet Christians keep on supporting him by continuing to buy his sh*tty music, like Who’s in the House, JC (Galatians 3:20 Remix!)* Christians, if you want people to take you seriously, never ever, under any circumstance bring up Carmen in a conversation. In fact pretend like he doesn’t exist.

WWJD The Water Color Paint Set – Sadly I’m not making this up, this was an actual product I saw in a Christian book store. WTF does a water paint set have to do with God, this is just one of several examples of people trying to make an easy buck of Christianity.

The picture in my last post – That’s an actual Christian t-shirt. If you think it’s only one of a kind, then go to this site: www.testimonytees.com

That guy who kissed dating good-bye – What was he thinking, and who gives a fly f*** if he kissed dating good-bye. This maybe my main problem with Christianity, everyone feels entitled to tell everyone else their opinion on even the most trivial of things. Keep your opinions to yourself, I really don’t want to hear your views on infant baptism. Seriously I don’t.

V.B.S. – I’m not against V.B.S in general, but few things get my panties in an uproar quite like the hand motions for those stupid f*cking songs.

Until We Meet Again

* May or may not be an actual Carmen song.