As most of you may know (ok who am I kidding, only my friends and family read this blog, all of you know this), I’m a Christian. But despite my faith, I think I hate evangelical Christians more then any other sect. Now I’m generalizing of course, I don’t hate all Christians, but few groups agitate me more then Christians. I’ve compiled a list of the things Christian say and do that piss me off the most. Here are some exerts from my list.
‘Lady in Waiting’ – Not sure if this is even originally a Christian saying, but Christians are currently the only people dense enough to use this term. Needless to say it pisses me off.
‘Here comes trouble’ – Old men at my church always say this when either I walk up or any kids with in the age range from 11-19. It’s old men like this that have forced me to sleep in on Sundays.
Carmen – Maybe the worst musician of this or any era. Yet Christians keep on supporting him by continuing to buy his sh*tty music, like Who’s in the House, JC (Galatians 3:20 Remix!)* Christians, if you want people to take you seriously, never ever, under any circumstance bring up Carmen in a conversation. In fact pretend like he doesn’t exist.
WWJD The Water Color Paint Set – Sadly I’m not making this up, this was an actual product I saw in a Christian book store. WTF does a water paint set have to do with God, this is just one of several examples of people trying to make an easy buck of Christianity.
The picture in my last post – That’s an actual Christian t-shirt. If you think it’s only one of a kind, then go to this site: www.testimonytees.com
That guy who kissed dating good-bye – What was he thinking, and who gives a fly f*** if he kissed dating good-bye. This maybe my main problem with Christianity, everyone feels entitled to tell everyone else their opinion on even the most trivial of things. Keep your opinions to yourself, I really don’t want to hear your views on infant baptism. Seriously I don’t.
V.B.S. – I’m not against V.B.S in general, but few things get my panties in an uproar quite like the hand motions for those stupid f*cking songs.
Until We Meet Again
* May or may not be an actual Carmen song.
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3 comments:
"I'm so blessed" should have made the list. Every time something good happens someone says that. Like God blessed them with that parking spot close to the door.
Another note regarding Christian smoking paranoia. I went through this with bdb at the Naz (we got caught). Don't give up smoking yet! Once you find a spot near by where no one will ever find you, you'll have some of the best smokes of your life. Don't quit yet.
just thought of one more.
"how's your walk"
as in your walk with the lord
number one naz ice-breaker used by RA's
There were several others that I could have added, I just rushed this out before i went to bed. The one I hate and get the most is "So why'd God bring you to (insert wherever you are)"
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