It’s been almost a month since I’ve posted anything. I know most of you have probably been wondering “what’s going on with Calvin? Why’s he not writing anything? Is it my fault?”. The answer, dear reader(s), is that it isn’t your fault. It’s just that for the past or month or so I’ve been over come with a crippling case of writer’s block. Well, like everything I say and write, that’s an over-exaggeration. What I’ve actually had these past few weeks is a bad case of Samuel Clemens Syndrome.
For those of you who don’t know… ah who am I kidding, everyone knows that Samuel Clemens is Mark Twain’s real name (Twain was a stage name). In Clemens 2nd most famous book, The Adventures of Huck Finn, he was overcome with a severe case of writer’s block about 2/3 of the way through the book. Because of the deadlines his publishing company had administered , Twain was forced to rush out the third of the book and that’s why it has the sort of helter-skelter, seemingly rushed ending*. So what does any of this have to do with me? Well for the past few weeks I’ve started several different posts and have been unable to find a satisfying way of ending them. So instead of mucking up potential gold like Clemens did, I’ve just decided not to write anything. Yet at the same time, I don’t want to go a month or more in between posts, so I’ve been at a loss about what to do.
Finally an idea came to me that was just crazy enough to work, I thought “Why don’t I write about not being able to write anything”. Then the more I thought about it, I started to dislike the idea. I mean writing a blog about writing, isn’t that like those a—holes in Hollywood who go ‘Hey, why don’t we make a movie about making a movie!’ and then everyone nods in agreement thinking it’s a great idea. But honestly how many movies have you seen with that premise that didn’t entirely suck? Did I really want to be potentially associated with those types of people. The answer is no, I don’t want to be ‘that guy’. But desperate times call for desperate measures, so I am going to be one of those a-holes… kinda.
Below you’ll find a brief summary of some of the things I almost wrote about in the past month. I guess in a way this is like my b-sides album. Enjoy.
Title: A Different Kind of Cool
Synopsis: A self indulgent story of me attending a Rouge Wave concert and remembering when I actually use to do things, i.e. have a social life.
Potential Jokes: A joke/question about which group has a bigger disparity in the attractiveness of couples, hipsters or Mormons**.
Title: A Truly Super Sunday (working title)
Synopsis: A post about, you guessed it, the Superbowl
Potential Jokes: Not too many jokes would have made it into this post. I would have reiterated how it was the best Superbowl ever and that after the game I had the same pleased look on my face that Viggo Mortenson had in the scene from “A History of Violence” where his wife came to bed wearing her high school cheerleader uniform. I then would have noted, most likely in a footnote, that Viggo and I had different reasons for sporting the ‘completely shocked and extraordinarily happy’ face. I also had some a few Tiki Barber jokes to throw in there as well.
Title: That’s Amore
Synopsis: An autobiographical piece about how I’m always disappointed by any slice of pizza I order
Potential Jokes: No jokes here, this one’s a tragedy.
.
Title: Time to Finally Give Peace a Chance
Synopsis: My reaction to the news that Israel is finally apologizing to the Beatles for canceling the bands tour there 43 years ago.
Potential Jokes: Me wondering how the New York Times writer missed the obvious gag of something along the lines of: 'apparently the Israeli government didn’t want their youth corrupted by songs like Come Together and Give Peace a Chance'. And I had another one about hoping that the Israeli government showed their musical chops by sending George Harrisons’ apology letter to Eric Clapton. I also probably would have noted that Ringo still sucks.
Title: A Roller Coaster Ride (Probably would have changed the title once I realized that no one associate it with the Belle & Sebastian song like I intended)
Synopsis: An investigative look into the highs and lows of online sports gambling
Potential Jokes: The one about how I won 260 dollars on a 5 dollar 3-team parlay bet and then lost most of my winnings by betting on Rodger Federer in the Australian Open. Wait, that wasn’t a joke, that actually happened to me. F*ck! In other news, I have a gambling problem.
Until We Meet Again
* There’s actually a much more viable theory to this, but it’s not nearly as fun and would kill my entire point, so I’m just not going to mention it.
** The Answer: Mormons, by a large margin. While hipsters, scenesters or what ever the hell you want to call them tend to put some lopsided couples out on the market, no one comes close to Mormons in this area. And those f*ckers get have multiple girls that are out of their league. Unforgivable.
Showing posts with label Rogue Wave. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rogue Wave. Show all posts
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, January 04, 2007
The Top 55 Songs of 2006 : An Exercise in Moderation, Sort of
First let me start with a disclaimer. This list is entirely my own, no outside sources joined in the voting process*. This list is as complete as I could make it. Obviously with having a full time job and going to school full time I was unable to listen to every single song that came out this year, thus this list is a little bit incomplete. Within a few months I’ll definitely hear a song I’ll wish I’d put on this list or feel that I overrated and/or underrated certain songs, ect. But as of the time of writing/posting, this list is as complete as I can make it.
More then any year I can remember this was much more a year of great songs then of great albums. Not to say this year’s albums were bad, because there were quite a few spectacular ones. It’s just that after last year’s handful of amazing/epic albums, this year’s albums sort of paled in comparison. Yet overall this year’s crop of songs might be better then it’s ‘05 counterparts.
Anyways, I was going to do a long drawn out list in which I‘d do a short review every song, but I’m lazy and I kinda need to get this list out while it’s still semi-relevant. So instead I’m just going to give you my list as is, sans anecdotes. The albums in which these songs can be found is in parenthesis after the song title**. I realize how much of a cop-out it is to just list the songs and not saying anything about them, so if you want to know more about these songs or want to discuss this list then you can stop me in the streets and talk to me about it. Seriously that wouldn’t be weird at all… Ok it would annoy and creep the living sh*t out of me, but that’s the sacrifice I’m willing to make for the 3-5 people who read my blog. Anyhow here’s the list:
55.) Polyphonic Spree – Sonic Bloom (Wait EP)
54.) Rhett Miller – Meteor Shower (The Believer)
53.) Justin Timberlake – Lovestoned/I Think That She Knows (Future Sex/Love Sounds)
52.) Gym Class Hereos – Clothes Off! (As Cruel as School Children)
51.) Guster – One Man Wrecking Machine (Ganging Up on the Sun)
50.) Decemberists – Sons and Daughters (The Crane Wife)
49.) Badly Drawn Boy – Time of Times (Born in the UK)
48.) Hawksley Workman – When These Mountains Were the Seashore (Treeful of Starling)
47.) The Flaming Lips – The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song (At War with the Mystics)
46.) Figurines – Race You (Skeleton)
45.) Eric Bachmann – Man O’ War (To The Races)
44.) Ghostface Killah (Featuring Trife) – Be Easy (Fishscale)
43.) Grant Lee Phillips – Age of Consent (Ninteeneightes)
42.) Eef Barzlay – I Wasn’t Really Drunk (The Ballad of Bitter Honey)
41.) Band of Horses – St. Augustine (Everything All The Time)
40.) Willie Nelson – Songbird (Songbird)
39.) Calexico – Cruel (Garden Ruin)
38.) Angels and the Airwaves – The Adventure (We Don’t Need to Whisper)
37.) Beyonce – Irrpalceable (B-Day)
36.) Mewithoutyou – A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains (Brother, Sister)
35.) The Killers – Read My Mind (Sam’s Town)
34.) Lily Allen – Smile (Alright, Still)
33.) Ben Kweller – Sundress (Ben Kweller)
32.) Lupe Fiasco – Sunshine (Food and Liquor)
31.) Casiotone for the Painfully Alone – New Years Kiss (Etiquette)
30.) Snow Patrol – You Could Be Happy (Eyes Open)
29.) Paris Hilton – Nothing in this World (Paris)
28.) Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Cheated Hearts (Gold Lion)
27.) Divine Comedy – A Lady of a Certain Age (Victory for the Comic Muse)
26.) Hellogoodbye – Here (In Your Arms). (Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!)
25.) M. Ward – Chinese Translation (Post-War)
24.) The Sleepy Jackson – You Need More (Personality)
23.) Mason Jennings – To You (If You Need a Reason EP)
22.) Built to Spill – Going Against Your Mind (You In Reverse)
21.) The Walkmen – Louisiana (A Hundred Miles Off)
20.) Bruce Springsteen – Pay Me My Money Down(We Shall Overcome)
19.) Starflyer 59 – Ideas for the Talented (My Island)
18.) Josh Ritter – Thin Blue Flame (The Animal Years)
17.) The Strokes – You Only Live Once (First Impressions of Earth)
16.) Camera Obscura – Lloyd, I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken (Let’s Get Out of This Country)
15.) I’m From Barcelona – Barcelona Loves You (Let Me Introduce My Friends)
14.) Destroyer – European Oils (Destroyer’s Rubies)
13.) Sparklehorse – Shade and Honey (Dreamt for Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain)
12.) Annuals – Sway (Be He Me)
11.) Scissor Sisters – I Don’t Feel Like Dancing (Ta-Dah)
10.) Regina Spektor – Fidelity (Begin to Hope)
9.) Cat Power – Lived in Bars (The Greatest)
8.) TV on the Radio – I Was a Lover (Return to Cookie Mountain)
7.) M. Ward – Poison Cup (Post-War)
6.) Destroyer – Rubies (Destroyer’s Rubies)
5.) The Hold Steady – Citrus (Boys and Girls in America)
4.) Sunset Rubdown – Stadiums and Shrines II (Shut Up I Am Dreaming)
3.) Rogue Wave – Eyes (Publish My Love EP)
2.) Belle and Sebastian - Dress Up in You (The Life Pursuit)
1.) Josh Ritter – Girl in the War (The Animal Years)
Once again I listen to way too much music and I apologize for my laziness and not writing at least a little blurb about all these songs. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it and check back next week, when there’s potential for multiple updates!!?!?!?!!?!?
Until We Meet Again
* Ok I lied, I don’t actually have a voting process. But if I did it would probably be similar to the BCS, only not entirely f*cked up.
** The lone exception to this is the Hellogoodbye song, which has parenthesis in the song’s title. I’ve placed the album name afterwards in parenthesis, hope that’s not too confusing.
More then any year I can remember this was much more a year of great songs then of great albums. Not to say this year’s albums were bad, because there were quite a few spectacular ones. It’s just that after last year’s handful of amazing/epic albums, this year’s albums sort of paled in comparison. Yet overall this year’s crop of songs might be better then it’s ‘05 counterparts.
Anyways, I was going to do a long drawn out list in which I‘d do a short review every song, but I’m lazy and I kinda need to get this list out while it’s still semi-relevant. So instead I’m just going to give you my list as is, sans anecdotes. The albums in which these songs can be found is in parenthesis after the song title**. I realize how much of a cop-out it is to just list the songs and not saying anything about them, so if you want to know more about these songs or want to discuss this list then you can stop me in the streets and talk to me about it. Seriously that wouldn’t be weird at all… Ok it would annoy and creep the living sh*t out of me, but that’s the sacrifice I’m willing to make for the 3-5 people who read my blog. Anyhow here’s the list:
55.) Polyphonic Spree – Sonic Bloom (Wait EP)
54.) Rhett Miller – Meteor Shower (The Believer)
53.) Justin Timberlake – Lovestoned/I Think That She Knows (Future Sex/Love Sounds)
52.) Gym Class Hereos – Clothes Off! (As Cruel as School Children)
51.) Guster – One Man Wrecking Machine (Ganging Up on the Sun)
50.) Decemberists – Sons and Daughters (The Crane Wife)
49.) Badly Drawn Boy – Time of Times (Born in the UK)
48.) Hawksley Workman – When These Mountains Were the Seashore (Treeful of Starling)
47.) The Flaming Lips – The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song (At War with the Mystics)
46.) Figurines – Race You (Skeleton)
45.) Eric Bachmann – Man O’ War (To The Races)
44.) Ghostface Killah (Featuring Trife) – Be Easy (Fishscale)
43.) Grant Lee Phillips – Age of Consent (Ninteeneightes)
42.) Eef Barzlay – I Wasn’t Really Drunk (The Ballad of Bitter Honey)
41.) Band of Horses – St. Augustine (Everything All The Time)
40.) Willie Nelson – Songbird (Songbird)
39.) Calexico – Cruel (Garden Ruin)
38.) Angels and the Airwaves – The Adventure (We Don’t Need to Whisper)
37.) Beyonce – Irrpalceable (B-Day)
36.) Mewithoutyou – A Glass Can Only Spill What It Contains (Brother, Sister)
35.) The Killers – Read My Mind (Sam’s Town)
34.) Lily Allen – Smile (Alright, Still)
33.) Ben Kweller – Sundress (Ben Kweller)
32.) Lupe Fiasco – Sunshine (Food and Liquor)
31.) Casiotone for the Painfully Alone – New Years Kiss (Etiquette)
30.) Snow Patrol – You Could Be Happy (Eyes Open)
29.) Paris Hilton – Nothing in this World (Paris)
28.) Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Cheated Hearts (Gold Lion)
27.) Divine Comedy – A Lady of a Certain Age (Victory for the Comic Muse)
26.) Hellogoodbye – Here (In Your Arms). (Zombies! Aliens! Vampires! Dinosaurs!)
25.) M. Ward – Chinese Translation (Post-War)
24.) The Sleepy Jackson – You Need More (Personality)
23.) Mason Jennings – To You (If You Need a Reason EP)
22.) Built to Spill – Going Against Your Mind (You In Reverse)
21.) The Walkmen – Louisiana (A Hundred Miles Off)
20.) Bruce Springsteen – Pay Me My Money Down(We Shall Overcome)
19.) Starflyer 59 – Ideas for the Talented (My Island)
18.) Josh Ritter – Thin Blue Flame (The Animal Years)
17.) The Strokes – You Only Live Once (First Impressions of Earth)
16.) Camera Obscura – Lloyd, I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken (Let’s Get Out of This Country)
15.) I’m From Barcelona – Barcelona Loves You (Let Me Introduce My Friends)
14.) Destroyer – European Oils (Destroyer’s Rubies)
13.) Sparklehorse – Shade and Honey (Dreamt for Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain)
12.) Annuals – Sway (Be He Me)
11.) Scissor Sisters – I Don’t Feel Like Dancing (Ta-Dah)
10.) Regina Spektor – Fidelity (Begin to Hope)
9.) Cat Power – Lived in Bars (The Greatest)
8.) TV on the Radio – I Was a Lover (Return to Cookie Mountain)
7.) M. Ward – Poison Cup (Post-War)
6.) Destroyer – Rubies (Destroyer’s Rubies)
5.) The Hold Steady – Citrus (Boys and Girls in America)
4.) Sunset Rubdown – Stadiums and Shrines II (Shut Up I Am Dreaming)
3.) Rogue Wave – Eyes (Publish My Love EP)
2.) Belle and Sebastian - Dress Up in You (The Life Pursuit)
1.) Josh Ritter – Girl in the War (The Animal Years)
Once again I listen to way too much music and I apologize for my laziness and not writing at least a little blurb about all these songs. Anyhow, hope you enjoyed it and check back next week, when there’s potential for multiple updates!!?!?!?!!?!?
Until We Meet Again
* Ok I lied, I don’t actually have a voting process. But if I did it would probably be similar to the BCS, only not entirely f*cked up.
** The lone exception to this is the Hellogoodbye song, which has parenthesis in the song’s title. I’ve placed the album name afterwards in parenthesis, hope that’s not too confusing.
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