So Tuesday night I reluctantly returned to my school. After several awkward encounters, I finally went to eat. To both my delight and chagrin I found out that the newest edition to my school’s sh!tty cafeteria was a soft serve ice cream machine. Now I, as a fat kid, happen to love ice cream, especially that of the soft serve variety. However, I’m also aware that most members of the opposite sex love ice cream as well. Before the ice cream wasn’t such a huge attraction b/c girls didn’t like to go through all the work of scooping it and they were afraid that guys checked out the back sides when they bent over to scoop it. But the soft serve machine changes all of that. Now girls can eat all the ice cream they want, with out having to work hard to get it or fear of guys scamming on them. So you’re thinking good for them, they deserve it! No, f!ck no. This basically means by November the only attractive girls left on campus will be the anorexic ones, a look I’ve never really cared for anyway(Although my douche roomate sure gets his rocks off on uncomfortably skinny girls.). So not only am I stuck at a school I don’t want to be at, but the schools female population is about to balloon up like a blow fish colony*.
Until We Meet Again
*I’m sorry, my analogies aren’t what they use to be.
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