Gotta go to work, gotta go to work. Gotta have a job.

First off let me apologize that I haven’t posted in a while. As most of you know I’m currently in a sh*t load of debt. And after returning from a weekend extravaganza to So. Cal I had to intensify my job search. The good news is that I now have a job, one that will probably allow for me to update frequently, but more on that later. Anyhow here are some of the highlight moments from my job search.

Sunglass Hut:

- My sit down interview was held in the middle of the mall. This was problematic, because the woman who was interviewing me was clearly unattractive. She looked like the classic nerd best friend in the geek-to-chic teen movie who warns the suddenly more attractive lead actress to be careful, because all the jocks that want her are probably just acting that way so they can pull a huge prank on her latter. Anyhow, back to my point. Oh yes, the interview. The interview took place around 4:30 p.m. Due to this the mall was crawling with several beautiful babies, all of whom were probably still in Junior High*. So through out the interview my eyes are darting around the mall like a diabetic in a candy store. Needless to say this interview wasn’t one of my best.

- After my sit down interview I took a phone survey for the company. The phone interview was all multiple choice or true false questions that you answered with a touch tone phone. The questions were all ridiculous, but my favorite one was this: “True or false: If you could live your life again you wouldn’t change anything.” I’m really not sure how this question helps them to evaluate whether or not you’re competent for the job. In fact I can’t see any purpose to this question at all. What’s the right answer? ‘He said he wouldn’t change anything about his life, huh. Well good. Clearly this young man is cut out for Sunglass sales.’ I mean seriously, what’s the point of this question?

Starbucks:
- During my first interview at Starbucks I was asked the following question: “What one drink on our menu best describes your personality?” As I sat there contemplating which one of the vanilla bull sh*ts I was going to use in my answer I was struck by several things. 1.) This was a serious question they asked to someone to whose going to get hired to make coffee. And 2.) They’re people out there who are actually shallow enough that their personalities can be described by Starbucks drinks. In fact I think the girl who interview after me nearly did a back flip for joy when she was asked this question. As I sat down and finished filling out the application I heard her give, and I sh*t you not, a 5 minute answer to this very question. At that point I decided that I didn’t really want to work at Starbucks, because everyone I worked with would be talking to me about how the Strawberry Mocha Frapochino Latte personified their relationship with their father. F*ck that place.

Trader Joes:

- During my interview at Trader Joes they asked me why I wanted to work there (For those of you who don’t know Trader Joes is a health food store). I was cut slightly of guard, mainly because the interview took place before 2 p.m., and it seemed like an odd question, because no one ever really wants to work anywhere. So I froze for about 5 seconds and weighed my options. At first I thought about explaining to the guy that I owed a lot of money to a lot of people. I decided against that and quickly wonder whether or not it would be good to say that I wanted the job just because they get to where Hawaiian shirts to work. Instead I made up some BS that the guy bought and that was that. Well I’m getting tired of typing so let’s wrap this up.

I now have a job. I’m working overnight room service at Ventana Canyon Resorts, which is a 4-Star resort here in T-Town. The job pays pretty well and should bring up so interesting situations. Well I’m outtie 5000, bitches!!! Hang loose.

Until We Meet Again

Coming Soon:
- Part 1 of My Job Memoir
- Sports Quick Hitter
- March Madness Coverage out the arse.

* Yeah that’s right, a pedophile joke. But truth be told you can’t help it at the mall.