Quick Hitters

Here some quick hitters for all of you to kill some time before March Madness Starts. (It should be noted for some of you newer readers that for the duration of March Madness this blog will be 97.3% dedicated to March Madness, woot. Anyhow on to with the post.)

- Where has Josh Hartnet gone?
- Isn’t about time that Las Vegas changes it’s slogan from What happens here stays here to Las Vegas: We’re all about debauchery.
- Hassan Adams, go f*** yourself.*
- Stuart Scott: Bad anchor, lazy eye, whiter then the Gumble brothers.
- As bad as Wildcat basketball has been this year watching JJ Redick and Duke implode has brought a smile to my face and a hop to my step. But don’t worry Blue Devil fans, I’m sure the Selection Committee will gift wrap a region for you, while putting UConn, UNC, Gonzaga, West Virginia, Villanova, Michigan St., Texas, UCLA and Memphis all in the same region.
- Music Recommendations: Stars – Set Yourself on Fire**, Southland – Influence of Geography.
- If given the option to attend the Women’s NCAA Final Four and having colon cancer I’m not sure which I’d choose.
- Word on the street is that Allen Iverson was left off Team USA because Jerry Calangelo didn’t want a hip-hop image. Yet he’s made an acussed rapist the team’s spokesperson. Curious.
- On a similar note how the hell did Calengelo get this job? This is the same man who traded “Thunder Dan” Marjlie in his prime for John “HOT Rod” Williams and Jason Kidd straight up for Stephon Marbury. Yep that sounds like the man I want putting together Team USA.
- For those of you wondering about the last two years in which the Suns have made excellent moves, well those were all done by Jerry’s son Brian.
- On the subject of Brokeback Mountain I have this to say: I’m sick and tired of this sh*t. I mean honestly, is it just me or does everyone feel like this was the punch line unfunny people have been waiting all their lives for? I mean how can you not make a funny Brokeback Mountain joke? Trust me this is going to end badly. In a few months they’ll be hundreds of unfunny people believing that they’re funny because of Brokeback Mountain.
- I made a 125 dollars at the Casino last night. Nothing to add here, just thought you all should know.
- Catholics all over the world rejoice as Crash is named best picture. ***
- Years ago my friends and I tried to start a trend of getting people to say make me beautiful whenever someone lit their cigarette for them. This never really caught on and I still haven’t gotten over it. Sorry, just thought you’d like to know that as well.
- Spring is arriving, and whenever spring comes around everyone seems to get a little more happy. Such has always been the case for me. However this year when the increased happiness was met with an odd amount of guilt and disappointment. I feel as if I haven’t earned the happiness because I didn’t suffer through a sh*tty Midwest winter. In related new I’m clearly insane.

Well I’m done.

Until We Meet Again

* Is this a reference to his DUI or his game-ting three pointer attempt that missed the rim by about 5 feet? You decide.
** Arguably a top 10 album of 2005.
*** If you don’t get this joke, see the movie. If you’ve seen the movie and still don’t get it, consider this word: guilt.