NCAA Tournament Manifesto V.2: The Final Countdown

Yes, it’s finally here. My March Madness Manifesto that will truly show my full genius. Sit back relax, and let me do all the work. What follows are a a couple of rules and guidelines and helpful tips/games so that you get the full March Madness experience. Also today I’ll breakdown the Brackets. Enjoy.

Guidelines and Other Miscellaneous Things:

A 12 seed will beat a 5 seed: happens every year, just trust me on this. My pick this year is Texas A&M over Syracuse. Other options include Washington getting upended by Utah State, which plays a similar style to Wazzu. Also on any given night Pitt can struggle to get 20 points, so they might also be a good pick.
A Team(s) that made a deep run in last years tourney,and returns most of it’s players, will flop this year: West Virginia fits the bill, but I personally want nothing to do with them. Nothing they do would surprise me. They could either win it all or loose in the first round and I wouldn’t be shocked either way. Outside of them no other team really fits this one.
At least on of your Final Four picks will not make it past the first weekend: Maybe I’m just bad at picking teams, but this almost always happens to me.
One potential match up will get over hyped by the media so much that you can be certain it won’t happen: Put your money this year on Duke-Texas rematch in the regional final. I don’t think either of these teams will make it that far, and I’d bet my life one of them doesn’t.*
One white guard will shoot lights out and garner comparisons to Larry Bird, Jimmy Chitwood and Bryce Drew: You have to play for a mid-major for this rule to apply, so thankfully, J.J Redick is out. My picks this year are: John Goldsberry (UNC- Wilmington), Jaycee Carroll (Utah State)**, Ben Jacobson (Northern Iowa) and David Bagga (Arizona) [Yes it’s a joke, but a boy’s gotta dream.]
You’ll talk yourself into a team that you shouldn’t: For me it seems like every year this team is Iowa, who I have going to the final four this year. Most people have this problem with Gonzaga as well. I've also talked myself into UW-Milwaukee, South Alabama and Wichita State.
You’ll make a list of things you’d give up to be the 12th Man on a Cinderella team: All joking aside this is all I want in my life. You get to lock arms on the bench during close games, you to hold everyone back from rushing the court after your team hits a huge shot and you get to over react to every made basket and get some TV time in the process. Just way to much fun is being had by these guys, oh and they also get to rush the court after the game is over. Man that’s the life. My list includes my Television, Ipod, My autographed Lisa Loeb album and one or both of my kidneys.
Beware of the team that made a deep run in their conference tourney, they may have used up all their luck: West Virginia blew this rule to shit last year, but I see it staying true this year. That means so long to Syracuse, Xavier and Kansas (all though there going home for another reason, which I’ll reveal later.)
The SEC, minus Kentucky, is always way overrated: One tweak to this rule this year is that Kentucky is also horrible. I would personally be shocked if more then one SEC team makes it to the 2nd week.
If you’re in Duke’s bracket rejoice: You rejoice because that means that Duke is the only other good team in your bracket. Seriously though, the Dukies get spoon fed an easy bracket every year, and this year is no exception. The only other scary teams are West Virginia and Iowa, both of whom I’m probably overrating.
A couple of top seeds will be pick to fail by must everyone, expect these teams to make it at least to the Sweet 16: This might actually hold up this year. Everyone will be picking Tennessee and Ohio State to get knocked off early. I agree with the Tennessee, and Ohio State has two tough draws in the second round, so we’ll see.
Cinderella teams usually loose steam after the first weekend: I’m not sure why this is, but it always happens. It could be because teams have more time to scout them and they won’t take them for granted. But if you have a double digit team or a high single digit team making it to the 2nd weekend, don’t expect them to make it to the elite eight.
Possible Drinking Games: Take a shot or drink for every Ben Howland time out (although this could very easily kill you), same for everytime the cameras pan to Ashley Judd at during a Kentucky game***, same for every time Billy Packer and/or Dick Vitale verbally felates Duke, every time and announcer incorrectly calls J.J. Redick one of the best shooters of all-time (c’mon the guy only shoots 43% from the 3pt line, at the college level that’s not very good. I mean Steve Kerr shot 57% from beyond the arc.).
If Billy Donovan, Al Skinner or Bill Self is your teams coach, you’re screwed: If one of these men is coaching your team soak in as much of the first weekend as you can, because you ain’t seeing the second weekend. On paper all of these teams are too talented to not get to at least the sweet 16, especially Kansas and BC. But never underestimate the power of these men’s horrific tourney coaching. One add on to this rule is that despite his teams talent, Rick Barnes will never coach his teams to their full potential. Also it should be noted that if Mike Miller is on your team then they can carry you even with these coaches and make you look like a genius.
Commercials/Promos: One of the most enjoyable subplots of March Madness is all the bad promos for CBS shows that won’t last a month. There will also be some great new
commercials as well. Like last years Diet Coke/Paul Oakenfold master piece, but I doubt will see anything that good this year.

Well that’s enough of that. Now let’s break down the brackets.

Oakland: The West Region

Tough Outs a.ka. the team(s) no one wants to play: These are the teams that won’t necessarially win, but they’re going to scare the bejesus out of people. In this region my picks are Bucknell, Indiana and the winner of the Marquette-Alabama game.

Upset Specials: I may not have any of these on my bracket, but these are the most likely upsets in my opinion. Anyone beating Kansas in the first two rounds. Bucknell over Memphis, Indiana over Gonzaga.

Sleeper Teams: These are teams that I could see making a deep run, maybe even making the final four. In this region my sleeper picks are Indiana and Pitt.

Best Player(s): Adam Morrison, SF Gonzaga. Morrison is one of the best scorers I’ve ever seen at the college level. In my mind he’s been the best player in America this year. While his defense is a liability and he doesn’t rebound enough, his scoring and clutchness more then make up for his short comings. Unfortunately for Morrison and Co. they’re going to lose to UCLA in the Sweet 16. In fact I would have Gonzaga losing in earlier, except I believe Morrison can carry them into the 2nd round.

Best Games (Potentially): UCLA-Gonzaga: This would be a great game. The best way to beat Gonzaga is to let Adam Morrison get his and just stop everyone else. But Ben Howland maybe to arrogant to let this happen because of how great of a defensive coach he is. This game is also for the best team on the west coast title. UCLA-Pitt: Ben Howland’s new team versus his old team and former assistant. Always a fun and over played story line. Indiana-Gonzaga: Because Mike Davis is resigning at the end of the tournament, every Indiana game is most see. Also the Hoosiers have the talent and style of play that could drive Gonzaga nuts.

Fearless Prediction(s): Every announcer will over-hype/over-praise Jordan Farmar, while being unaware that Aaron Affalo is actually the key to any success UCLA might have. Also that Memphis’s tournament exit will be mainly self ionflicted.

Sweet 16 Teams: Memphis, Pitt, Gonzaga and UCLA.

Bracket Winner: UCLA. The Bruins are one of the best defense teams in the nation. They play Big East Style defense and west coast style offense. They match up well with just about every team in this bracket. Sure Memphis beat them earlier in the year, but Memphis peaked in December, no one knows that yet because they haven’t played anybody good since then. The Bruins are peaking now and I believe that they should win this division.

Atlanta: Southeast Region

Tough Outs a.ka. the team(s) no one wants to play: George Washington (especially if Pops Mensah-Bonsu plays.), UNC-Wilmington, Iona, Southern Illinois and UCBerkley (otherwise known as Cal.)

Upset Specials: Again, I may not have them in my bracket, but here’s the most likely of the upsets in this region. Texas A&M over Syracuse (trust me, ‘Cuse is dunzo.), Iona over LSU, West Virginia over everyone, Cal over Texas.

Sleeper Teams: George Washington (especially if Pops Mensah-Bonsu plays.), West Virginia(if they can actually be considered that), California, Iona.

Best Player(s): J.J. Redick, Duke. With Pops Mensah-Bonsu likely out for the tournament, this honor has to go to the overrated Redick. While I’m tempted to give in to Leon Powe, Redick has almost earned the non-stop praise he’s received this year. He’s become a great scorer and leader, although he’s still overrated as a shooter.

Best Games (Potentially): West Virginia –Iowa: Could be the game of the tournament. These teams match up really well and it will be one of the few times I’m not rooting for an upset in the 1st round because I want to see this game that badly. Duke-GW: Only if Pops Nebsah-Bonsu plays.

Fearless Prediction(s): The winner of the West Virginia –Iowa 2nd round match up is going to the Final Four. Duke will get at least one controversial late game call that won’t decide the game, but it will definitely push it in their favor.

Sweet 16 Teams: Duke, LSU, Iowa, Texas. (Say it with me now: BORING!)

Bracket Winner: Iowa. Maybe it’s because I dislike Duke, or I’m just smart enough to see that they’re falling apart, but I don’t see them getting out of this region. Iowa is the second best team in this region, followed closely by their second round opponent West Virginia. All things considered Duke should make it out of this region, but I think Iowa has the right combination of shooting, defense and senior leadership to get to the finals.

Minneapolis: The Midwest Region

Tough Outs a.ka. the team(s) no one wants to play: Arizona(hey stfu, seriously stop laughing.), Nevada, UW-Milwaukee, Northern Iowa and Georgetown.

Upset Specials: South Alabama over Florida (The Gators always choke, and South Alabama is actually a pretty good team, I feel confident about this one.), UW-Milwaukee, Arizona over Villanova (honestly now it could happen. Right? Right?), Georgetown over Ohio State.

Sleeper Teams: Georgetown, Neveda, Arizona (Ok I’ll admit it, I’m mildly insane and a huge homer.) and South Alabama.

Best Player(s): Nick Fazekas, Nevada. The 6-11 forward plays mostly like a 2-guard. He’s drawn compasions to Dirk Nowitski, but he has a better back to the basket game and he’s a better defender. Fazekas has a great all-around game.

Best Games (Potentially): Boston College-Nevada: The match-up of two of the best forwards in the nation between BC’s Jared Dudley and Fazekas. Villanova-Ohio State: Both teams play 4 guard oriented offenses. The both match up well with each other, could be a great game.

Fearless Prediction(s): Mustafa Shakur’s homecoming will last two games. Too much attention will be paid to Allen Ray’s injured eye.

Sweet 16 Teams: Villanova, Nevada, Ohio State and South Alabama

Bracket Winner: Villanova: Even with out Allen Ray at full strength the Wildcats should take this region. It all comes down to guard play in the tournament and Villanova’s quartet of guards, led by Randy Foye will be a tough match up for everyone. Even if they go cold one night I think Ohio State and BC (although we all know the Eagles are going to choke) are the only teams that can beat them in this bracket.

Washington D.C.: The East Region

Tough Outs a.ka. the team(s) no one wants to play: Brandon Roy, er, I mean Washington, Murray State and Utah State.

Upset Specials: Michigan State over UNC, Wichita State over Tennessee, Utah State over Washington (Read: Brandon Roy)

Sleeper Teams: Brandon Roy, Michigan State (even though everyone expects them to make a deep run), Wichita State and Utah State.

Best Player(s): Dee Brown, Illinois. Brandon Roy, Washington. Tyler Hansbrough, UNC. Marcus Williams, UCONN. Brown is arguable the best floor leader in the country, and despite his poor shooting percentage is the main reason Illinois is still competitive this year. Roy just might be the best scorer in the country. Hansbrough is the countries best Freshman and is easily a top 5 post player in college. Rudy Gay gets all the pup for UCONN, but Marcus Williams, the countries best play maker, is the difference maker for the Huskies.

Best Games (Potentially): UNC-Michigan State: Another potential game of the tournament that will be played in the second round. UNC-MSU winner-UCONN: While UCONN should win this bracket, whomever wins the 2nd round game between the Tarheels and the Spartans will give them a great game.

Fearless Prediction(s): Soon as Dee Brown goes cold the Illini are done. Tennessee will flame out before the sweet 16.

Sweet 16 Teams: UCONN, Washington, Michigan State and Wichita State.

Bracket Winner: UCONN. They have the most talent in the country and a great coach. They can go 9 deep and felon turned PG Marcus Williams just might be the best floor generals in the country

My Final Four & Champion:

UCONN-Villinova: This is the real championship game.
Iowa-UCLA: Two great defense teams slugging it out what will be a very boring game by comparison to it’s counterpart.

Championship: UCONN over Iowa: This game will be close for about 25-30 minutes before UCONN’s athleticism and talent take over.

Well writing all of this has taken a lot out of me. I barely have the strength left to wrap this all up. Just enjoy the next three weeks, they’re the best in sports.

Until We Meet Again


*Please don’t hold me to that.
** Speaking of Utah State, nothing can prepare for how scaring looking there 27 year-old, formerly accused of rape point guard David Pak is. Trust me, you don’t want small children anywhere near the television when Utah State is playing.*** Sorry about that, but it’s industry standard to have at least one Ashley Judd per. March Madness write up. It should also be noted that I don’t condone underage drinking of any kind.