So I’m officially at the point where I’ve shut down for the year. Barring the most ballin’ sh*t ever going down, my posts for the rest of the year will all be dealing with the year that was/still is. Today we’ll start with random highlights (and a few lowlights) from 2006. So enough with the foreplay, let’s get down to business.
Best Sports Moment of ’06:
This one is a three-way tie. (Note: I’ve excluded all World Cup moments because that’s just on a whole other level).
1A. Suns-Lakers, Game 7: As someone who loves sports far too much – and basketball being my favorite sport – for years, the Lakers have been the bane of my existence. I’ve viewed Kobe Bryant, even pre-Colorado incident, as Hitler’s equal. I still hold grudges over their sh*tty role players who’d randomly come through in big games, etc., etc. So watching them blow a 3-1 series lead and the get their a$$es handed to them in Game 7 (by my favorite NBA team no less) was a beautiful, beautiful thing.
1B. Detroit Tigers defeat the New York Yankees in 4 games: I’m not a Tigers fan: In fact, I have a general disdain for all things that come out of Detroit. And while I dislike the Yankees, I don’t go out of my way to root against them anymore. But watching Detroit celebrate this victory was incredible. Watching their fans stay and get sprayed with champagne in 30 degree weather was one of the coolest things I’ve ever witnessed in sports. It’s hard not to be moved when you see a large group of people overjoyed like that, it really is.
1C. University of Arizona defeats Illinois, December 2nd, 2006: If you don’t know why the victory meant so much to me, then you’re probably not a very close friend. The feeling I had after the game was over was incredible (oh, and by the way I was at the game*). It felt like my ex-girlfriend, who had spent the last two years sleeping with my closest friends and family members, had just gained 130 lbs., flunked out of school, been fired from her job, started serving at Hooter’s, and was dating Dave Coulier. Suffice it to say, I’ve rarely felt more vindicated.
Best Game of 2006: Guitar Hero II:
If I had a couple more weeks to play the Wii, then it would probably be here. But at press time, I’ve only played it once, so the amazingly awesome Guitar Hero Duex is here instead. For those of you who haven’t played the game, it’s is pretty much Dance-Dance Revolution, but instead of a pad you have an almost life-size guitar. The guitar has five different colored buttons that you press according to the screen’s commands, while you play a famous rock or metal song. The games immensely fun and also showed me how easily I’m manipulated. When I really get in the zone while playing a song, I half convince myself that I’m actually playing the song on a real guitar. And you know what, I’m completely OK with that.
Worst Musical Trend of ’06:
Surprisingly the musical holocaust that is Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, My Chemical Romance and the 20+ other bands who sound exactly like them weren’t this years worst musical trend. Instead, at least in my eyes, that honor goes to the multitude of indie bands who came out with CD’s this years trying to sound just like the Arcade Fire. Now I like the Arcade Fire, I’m as pumped for their new record as anyone else, but didn’t the music world learn that everyone trying to sound like one band is never a good thing. Didn’t the tens of thousands of bands who tried to be lite versions of Radiohead and U2 teach us all a valuable lesson? I mean if everyone is constantly ripping off the same band it lessens the original bands music. Personally I see the trend continuing, the only thing that’s up in the air is which band everyone will next try to mimic. I just hope that new bands will take a cue from Annuals, Broken Social Scene and (to a lesser extent) Animal Collective and just put out lighter, more listenable version of “Loveless” by My Bloody Valentine. And yes I realize that maybe the ultimate ‘be careful what you wish for’ statement.
Best Frat Guy Induced laughter of ’06:
This may have been the toughest field to narrow down, but I’m going to go with my gut on this one. In late July, I was up in Denver visiting some friends of mine. After a night of drinking and carousing (I was drinking club soda of course…), we started to walk back to our car from the establishment we’d been frequenting. As we passed hordes of people on our way back, we began yelling “Spring Break!” at the top of our lungs and giving them the ‘hang loose’ sign. As we were doing this, one dude-brah who was wearing a bandana, or as I’ve been told they call them: “ban-dizzle”, replied, “2K6!!!” and then went in for the high five. Needless to say, hilarity ensued.
Most Bad Ass Moment of ’06:
Yet another tie!?!?!
1A: Raja Bell hitting the game-tying 3 pointer with 1.8 seconds left in the first overtime of game 5 in the Suns-Clippers series. After hitting the three, Raja then ran down court yelling either “I told you I’d make that motherf**ker” or “I told you I’m big time motherf**ker.” Either way, it doesn’t get more bad ass then that.
1B: The time I broke out of “The Colony”, a mind-washing assassin training facility, and then teamed up with Dennis Rodman to take down my archenemy and world-renowned terrorist Stavros. Oh wait, that wasn’t me, that was Jean-Claude Van Damme in Double Team. Let’s just move on.
Best Band Name in ’06:
This one easily goes to I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness, whose debut album, “Fear is on Our Side”, came out this year.
Funniest Movie Scene: (Note: At the time of writing this, I’ve yet to see Borat, so this could drastically change).
The Bungee Jump Scene in Jackass 2: I won’t ruin it for those of you who haven’t seen it. But I was laughing and crying so hard at this scene that it took me a few minutes to catch my breath. Seriously, I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard. I was pretty certain I was going die.
Best Concert I went to in 2006:
No contest here.
Andrew Bird at the Rialto: Let me start out by saying that if you want to have a career as a musician, do not go see Mr. Bird live. He will shame you, and just about everyone else making music these days. Bird spends the majority of his time playing and looping multiple instruments, whistling in perfect pitch, singing in a voice so pure you’d swear he was God’s second son, and all the while his lyrics are better and far more clever than everyone else’s. After the show, for which I spent 95% of picking my jaw off the floor because I was in awe of the man’s amazing talent, my brother Luke summed things up perfectly: “If I was a musician, I think I’d go home and blow my brains out, because I’d never even come close to that.” And he was exactly right. Andrew Bird is just playing a different game than everyone else. To put it in simpler terms, I’ll say this: Andrew Bird’s the NBA premier superstar, while everyone else is in the WNBA D-league.***
Best Party of 2006:
The 4th Annual Ugly Christmas Sweater Party (The original, except no imitations): The party hasn’t even happened yet, but I know that something epic will happen at it. For those of you lucky enough to be attending this year’s party, you’re welcome to join me in saying the following prayer/mantra****: Please, oh please, don’t let me be the individual who makes such an a$$ of himself this year that the story of me is relayed all the way up to next year’s party, in which time some one else will f@#$ up and replace me.
Stay tuned in the next few weeks for my Top Songs and Albums list that will be incredibly long and overly pretentious. That’s all for now.
Until We Meet Again
* Thanks Billy
** Circa 2006
*** OK. so that’s an over-exaggeration. But Bird is more musically talented than anyone I’ve ever seen or heard, no joke.
***Whatever your religious preference may be. I don’t discriminate here, unless of course you’re Asian. (It’s a joke, people. I have Asian friends, honest. Ask Aaron if you don’t believe me).
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