Right before the Superbowl I wanted to write a post that was a blatant rip off of Tim Keown's The List articles that runs weekly on espn.com. If you’re unfamiliar with this column, you’re missing out. It’s one of my very favorite on the internet. He's an excellent writer who’s always funny and engaging and every so often there's a subtle hint of racism in his work. So more or less, he's exactly the type of writer I want to be. The List has a similar format each week in which Keown writes a few paragraphs on a certain issue in sports and then finishes the column with a List of other things going on in the sports world. This List is more or less a bunch of humorous one liners, which is probably why I like it so much.
Anyways, I was going to write about watching Andy Roddick get destroyed by Roger Federer and how Roddick’s on the court meltdown was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. It happens every time they play, honestly. I think Roddick might be the most compelling person in sports, mainly because he actually comes off like an actual human being. I was going to write about how Roddick arguing with the center judge to divert his own attention from the ass-whipping he was receiving was so relatable, since I myself have done similar things in sporting events/real life. I had all sorts of things to say about it, but I never found time to write it before the weekend. And then Federer and Nadal had another classic match (which I watched until I fell asleep a set and half in) and then there was the Superbowl and it no longer seemed relevant.
So instead you’re just going get this post which gives a nice synopsis of Keown’s list column and brief outline of my thoughts on Andy Roddick. I’ve also decided to include a few other thoughts that have been bumping around in my head. Enjoy:
- You put down them chicken fingers and listen up, ‘cause your life’s about to change: One part of the Superbowl that I definitely undersold in the moment was Bruce Springsteen's half time show. I was still crushed due to the James Harrison TAINT and thus couldn't fully appreciate the Boss's show. In retrospect though, his performance was really something. He was so enthusiastic and earnest, it's like he legitimately thought he could rock America right out of this recession. Every time I watch or listen to Bruce I think he's either the least self-aware man of all-time or he's a so self-aware that his entire act is some kind of highbrow parody of blue collar rock n’ roll. The truth, as it always does, probably lies somewhere in the middle of those two extremes. I love him either way.
- I guess sometimes things are too obvious: Somehow music critics have failed to mention that Animal Collective's universally hailed Merriweather Post Pavilion sounds a lot more like a Panda Bear record than an Animal Collective album. I personally prefer Panda Bear’s stuff to Animal Collective, so I’m more than ok with it, just think it warrants mentioning that no one is talking about this. My apologizes to anyone reading who’s never heard of either of those bands, just let me assure you that they exist and I’m not speaking in gibberish.
- On a similar note: I recently saw The Wrestler and it was as soul crushing and brilliant as everyone’s been saying it is. I was also thrilled that Aronofsky's trusted his audience enough to get the films point, obvious as it may have been. He practically filmed this thing like it was a documentary. He just got out of the story’s way and doesn't try to influence how the audience interprets it in anyway. It was a very nice and refreshing change to see a director do this.
- The future of Lost: Is it also its past?*:
(***WARNING!!!! Pseudo-Lost Spoiler Alert***)
So I finally watched the first two episodes of Lost Season 5 and I’m continually flabbergasted by this show. The writers come up with some of the most amazing concept, but don’t know how to their strengths. For the last time, just focus on the overarching story line, that’s easily the strongest part of your show. Please stop trying to make me care about the poorly written emotional plights of your two dimensional characters (Unless it’s Desmond). And lastly, if you’re gonna be a full-blow time travel show, at least have the decency to make some Back to the Future allusions. Also, if you’re trying to make a realistic time travel show, don’t explain the rules to us and then provide your loophole to said rules five minutes later. That’s just embarrassing for everyone involved.
(***Pseudo-Lost Spoiler Alert Over***)
- At times, this world is too much for me: So I was recently taking a test at a community college where I encountered sign in front of an office door that read:
Welcome to Disabled Students Resources: Your “I Will” is more important than your “IQ”
Turns out this sign was serious and this was a legitimate department. I’m still not really sure why IQ was in quotations, yet I digress. All unintentional comedy aside, I did see 3 people working inside this tiny office. Now I don’t want to come off as insensitive, but maybe the reason this state’s education is it such disarray and forced to make astronomical budget cuts is because they spend their money on things like 3 full-time employees for a Disable Student Resource department on a remote satellite campus of a community college. But then again, what do I know?
Until We Meet Again
* With apologizes to The Onion
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