I haven’t written anything in a while, so hopefully this will satisfy my writing jones. The title of this post is pretty self-explanatory, so I’m just gonna dive right in
Things I Almost Wrote About
- “The Summer of George”: I’m essentially unemployed (working 5-10 hours a week) and I’m leaving for the summer in 2 weeks so there’s no way I can get another job. I now have a scary amount of time on my hands which I mainly spend being unproductive. Most of my day is spent wandering around my house, or to be more specific my parents house (my life is all kinds of awesome). I do read a lot, things ranging from pseudo-pretentious literature I don’t understand to the lowest of low internet ramblings. Since the better part of my day is spent lounging I’m normally dressed like some sort of hipster/jock/vagabond hybrid. Now as long as I don’t leave the house there’s nothing wrong with this get up. Unfortunately, I’ve had to run several errands as of late and I end up going out in public wearing things like UofA basketball shorts and a Yellow Bird Project tee. Combine this with my bad hair cut (I seem to get an endless amount of those) and I look like a complete mess every time I leave the house. I guess since I know that I won’t see anyone in this town for the whole summer I’ve just completely stopped caring about my personal appearance*. The lesson to be learned from all of this: The combination of (almost) unemployment and leaving for 3 months is lethal.
- “Why Lost is Criminally Overrated”: Whenever I have an abundance of time on my hands, I tend to think really deeply on matters that shouldn’t be thought about deeply, i.e. movies, TV shows, music, etc.; I’m like the Thomas Merton of pop culture. The latest victim of my musings has been the uber hit drama(?) Lost. I’ve watched all 5 seasons of this show, and with the exception of the very first one, have almost stopped watching in the middle of every season. I keep coming back because the show generally ends and begins their seasons on high notes. All in all it’s a decent show that tries too hard and whose writers think they’re much more clever than they actually are.
Yet every review I read talks about this show as if it were the greatest thing to ever be played on television. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why this is, I mean if an amateur like me can see that for everything this shows does well there’s at least 2-3 things it does poorly than why can’t these critics see it as well? And then I realized what it was. Art folks are always bemoaning for some time the loss of shared cultural experiences, i.e. ‘the current musical landscape will never allow for another Beatles’ or ‘I don’t think they’ll ever be another film like It’s a Wonderful Life, that everyone sees and is effected by’. Lost is probably the last big shared cultural experience that Gen Xers, who make up the majority of the publishing world, will have. Therefore this show has to be great, since nothing like this will never come around again (teen crazes like Harry Potter and Twilight don’t count).
In the end I didn’t write this because I’m fairly certain none of my 8 readers watch Lost and because I’m not nearly smart enough or a good enough writer to fully expound on this idea to my liking.
-“He’s Just Not That Into You”: I went to see this movie at the dollar theatre for anthropological reasons. I somehow made it to the end of this train-wreck and no longer had any interest in anthropology, or humanity for that matter. This film was watching a two hour abortion, and I’m not saying that to be hyperbolic or shocking, it was honestly that bad.
Ok, this next one needs its own bullet point list. All points are condescended as possible for everyone’s benefit
Why the Bulls-Celtics Series Wasn’t Actually Great
-Vinny Del Negro is probably the worst coach of all-time, at any level
- Game 7 was largely decided by an Eddie House hot streak. I rest my case
- Just about every great moment in this series was due in large part to extremely low basketball IQ (see: BEN GORDON, John Salmons, Paul Pierce in Game 6, Stephon Marbury, etc.) or some horrendous coaching decisions (such as Doc Rivers adjusting his line-up when the Bulls played small ball, everything the aforementioned Vinny D did)
- As far as I could tell Vinny Del Negro was drawing up the double alley-oop play from NBA Jam for all of the Bulls end of game plays. That seems to be the only logical explanation for all the double-teamed, fall away 18-footers Ben Gordon took in big situations throughout this series
- Um, Mr. Del Negro, when the Celtics are down 3, it may be in your best interest to guard their best shooter, Ray Allen
- On that note, Mr. Rivers, when Ray Allen is on his way to a 51 point night and is literally making everything he throws up, you should probably run your offense through him instead of Paul Pierce. And you should absolutely let him take the final shot instead of drawing up a play for Rajon Rondo who was 4-17 and can’t score if he’s further than 8 feet from the basket
- Oh and Mr. Del Negro, Derrick Rose got to the rim at will this series and positive things happened about 70% of the times he drove, so maybe just spread the floor and let him work instead of running Gordon, Salmons and Kirk Hinrich off screens as your primary offensive set
- Also, Vinny, Tyrus Thomas hit a slew of big jumpers in game 1, including the eventual game winner, and had 6 blocks in game 2. Barely playing him in the next 5 games may not have been the best decision
- In the end, this series produced a several great moments, the large majority of which should never have happened had competent coaches been involved. The games weren’t particularly well played, they were just all close. Just because these close games produced a ton of fun highlights doesn’t mean it was a great series, it really doesn’t
- I also had a point about how sports fans now care more about highlights than the entire package, i.e. the rest of the game, being high quality. And how this has led us to anointing this series, in which ignorance was often the main reasons the games were close, as the best first round series of all-time. But that point seems a bit farfetched and rather ostentatious, so really it’s a good thing that I didn’t write about this series
And We Conclude with a Mini-Post of Sorts
Besides my own personal heart ache and horrible officiating, the NBA Playoffs are also known for running their sponsors commercials into the ground. Since the NBA Playoffs actually last an absurdly long time and since the same companies sponsor each round (and usually don’t have the courtesy to change their commercials), viewers are liable to see the same commercial tens-of-thousands of times. Below is a video of this year’s heir apparent to this horrific trend.
What exactly is the point of this commercial? Beyond keeping up Sprite’s name brand recognition? This is supposed to make me want to drink Sprite? Why would I drink something that makes people combust on impact? And why are people so thrilled to be getting drenched by this liquid? Forget for a moment that this downpour is the remnants of their friends. I think we can safely assume that the liquid that’s raining down on them is Sprite. So why again are they happy that Sprite if cascading down on them? If I were to get drenched by Sprite, I’d be extremely anger and sticky, not laughing and pumping my fist. And if this Sprite also happened to be the result of two of my friends spontaneously combusting then I’d be irreparably scared, both mentally and emotionally. This commercial makes my head hurt.
Until We Meet Again
* Damnit I’ve become a hippie. I’d just like to say eff you to all my friends here in town who did nothing to prevent this
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