Nocturnal State

As those of you who keep reasonable hours or have some semblance of a social life may not know, Nocturnal State is the name of VH1’s after-hours video show. There’s no host and no talking, they just show music video’s with limited commercial interruption until 6 or 7 a.m. I bring this up because not only is it what I’m currently watching because I can’t fall asleep, but I also thought it would be a good title for a blog about the current mixture of thoughts churning about my head. Or perhaps more accurately, the thoughts going through my mind at two in the morning. So please enjoy my random, mostly nonsensical thoughts.

- Speaking of VH1, for those of you who haven’t seen ‘The White Rapper Show’ believe me when I say you’re missing out. The show is about 10 white rappers competing for a shot at 100 Grand. As if the idea wasn’t good enough to begin with, no one on the show can rap for sh*t. Imagine all the crappy contestants on American Idol, then imagine all of them rapping and you’ve got this show. Just some incredibly high comedy going on here.

- Five for Fighting might be the most subtly terrible band of all-time. They won’t shock in awe you with their atrociousness like the Nicklebacks, Fergies and James Blunts of the world, but they’re absolutely dreadful. Between their d-bag lead singer singing about two octaves too high, their unbearably bad lyrics and incredibly bland music this band is easily one of the five worst bands/people making music.

- Foolishly I waited until last week to see The Departed and all I can say is wow. This movie is exactly what everyone said it was: Amazing. It’s nice to know Scorses can still make an incredible film now and again. Also who would have ever guess that the front man of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch would play one of the best characters in cinema history 16 years after releasing “Good Vibrations”?

- Life experiences taught me this week that one of the most humiliating places to run into a coworker outside of work is at Walgreens at 1 a.m. buying a plunger.

- After re-listening to “The Information” by Beck I’m convinced the problem with his last few albums have been that all his songs go on for about a minute too long. This isn’t to say that his music is now bad, it’s still quite exceptional. However I think he shortchanges a lot of his newer songs by making them longer then they need to be.

- Few things are as disheartening to me as the Christopher Lloyd’s Direct TV commercial. Here’s man who played one of the best movie characters ever in one of the best trilogies ever, whoring himself out for a crappy TV commercial. It’s not so much that the commercial is epically unfunny and that Lloyd looks like death in it, but it also cheapens one of my favorite movies ever. Every time it comes on part of my childhood dies. It’s gotten to the point where I’m not sure if I even believe in time travel anymore.

- The problem with these random thought blogs, beside the obvious incoherencies, is that no one gives a sh*t about ¾ of these thoughts other then me. And in all honesty my thoughts aren’t that interesting to begin with…

- The Killers video for “Read My Mind”, which was my favorite track off “Sam’s Town”, is very close to surpassing Lily Allen’s Smile as my favorite current music video. If you haven’t seen it yet, youtube it. It’s tremendous.

- Since the earliest I ever work is noon I generally don’t get up until 11:30ish. But lately I’ve been trying to wake up by 10 to watch of my favorite game shows of all-time, The Price is Right. This is the show I’d always watch in the mornings in my days as a home schooler as well as sick days in high school. Before last week I hadn’t watched the show in 5+ years and there’s quite a bit I’ve never noticed. For starters everyone like’s to make jokes about Dick Clark being a robot, but shouldn’t Bob Barker be the punch-line to these jokes? I’m mean honestly the man looks the exact same, maybe even younger, then he did we he made a cameo in Happy Gilmore. Did Bob discover the fountain of youth or something, because I know I’m not watching reruns and he looks far to fit for someone pushing 90. Hell he looks better the 92% of the contestants. And speaking of the contestants and audience members, those people are just way too excited. By comparison women in labor are much more subdued then these people. It’s like the show’s producers found a way to oxygenize crack and pump it through the air vents. Honestly, how excited can you possibly be about winning a Victorian floor clock? As for the audience members, does the military guy who looks like he just sh*t himself and won the lottery at the same time really need you to yell “ONE DOLLAR” at him at the top of your lungs? The show has been on since 1972, is there really anyone left in America who isn’t aware of the one dollar bid? Despite all of this it’s still a great show and I will most likely wake up for tomorrow morning.

- In other syndicated game show news: John O’Hurley, whom I once delivered a bottle of wine to, is now the host of Family Feud. In related news the guy who played Al Borland is now a cutter.

- Another omission I’m regretting from my Best Albums of 2006 list is “Casino Twilight Dogs” by Youth Group. Not only does the band have a phenomenal name, but they put out one of the best melodic indie pop albums I’ve heard in some time.

- This is normally where I’d discuss the state of Arizona basketball, but I can’t. I’m half-heartedly giving up on this team. I’ll still watch every game and scream at the television like a raving lunatic while hoping and praying for victory, but I no longer expect a victory, regardless of the opponent. On the other hand I don’t necessarily expect them to lose every game either. Basically there’s no way to predict what on earth this team is going to do. I’m just going watch the rest of the season devoid of expectations, because this team seems to get off on defining every possible one. Hopefully this approach will keep me from getting mentally, spiritually and emotionally crushed after every loss. Man I really wish I was joking about all of this.

- This week I officially added “Boston” by Augustana to my list of songs “That Are Good in the Worst Way” list. Songs make this list because I like them, but really shouldn’t. These songs aren’t bad enough to be labeled as guilty pleasures, but aren’t good enough for me to justifiably like. Songs on this list include, but are not limit to: “Look What You’ve Done” by Jet, “Drive” by Incubus, “One Thing by Finger Eleven”, every Keane Single and “Collide” by Howie Day.

- Speaking of music, I currently have a plethora of new music that I want to listen to but can’t. It’s not because of lack of time or anything like that, it’s just that I can’t stop listening to Andrew Bird’s newest CD Armchair Apocrypha. The CD comes out on March 20th, but by God’s grace it leaked on the internet about three weeks ago. Since I downloaded it I listen to it twice a day and have yet to find a single song I’d ever consider skipping on it*. I was going to write a long, drawn out review of it but I realize I could never do it justice. This is honestly one of the best albums I’ve ever heard. This isn’t me be hyperbolic, this CD is just staggeringly brilliant. I’d love to explain its greatness to all of you, but I can’t possibly put into words how great I think it is. The best description I can think of for it came from my older brother Luke, who came up with this perfect analogy “I feel like I’m a King who commissioned the best musician in the land to compose a symphony for me. After he had played it for me, I realized it was the best thing I’d ever heard it my life. It brought me back to music.” This legitimately describes how I feel about this record. It’s like Andrew Bird wrote it exactly for me to remind me why I love music so much. I’m being completely serious about all of this. You need to get this CD immediately, at any and all costs. Or just have patience and buy it as soon as it comes out. I’m ready to declare it not only the album of the year, but it’s probably the album of the Millennium**. I’d now like to take this moment and apologize to everyone for probably ruining this album by over-hyping it, but I’m completely in love with this record.

- As I’m about to go to sleep some All-American Rejects video comes on. Never before have I noticed the similarities between emo kids and refugees.

Until We Meet Again

* Which, for my money is the true measure of an album’s greatness. That is if you’re able to listen to it the whole way through without wanting to skip a single track. I can honestly say that I can do this with very few records.
** Oh I’m sorry, Willennium.