Sugar Free Jazz

Here’s another series of my unedited, generally incoherent thoughts (Note: I’m looking for a name for this thingy, suggestions are welcome.)

- Something I’ve always wondered, does the night really belong to lovers?
- While listening to Jimmy Eat World’s new album Futures I had a life long query that I never wanted answered, answered for me. The query was: what would it sound like if U2 was an emo band.
- I find it a little depressing that some of my fondest childhood memories are those in which I was playing Tecmo Super Bowl.
- After weighing the options and doing some serious soul searching, I still can’t decide which I’d be more disappointed in: If my daughter became a stripper or a goth kid.
- Would anyone really miss New Mexico it was captured by some foreign country? Would the U.S. even mount a counter strike, or would they send out a thank you note?
- If someone tells you that you look like the lead singer of Maroon 5, is that a complement?
- Is there any board game out there that’s more underwhelming then Clue?
- Do people really think they’re being clever when they say “Is the hokey pokey really what it’s all about?” God I hope not.
- If a note says ‘Do Not Open Until xxxx’ has anyone ever waited till the appointed time to open it?
- Looking back at it, the 25 dollars I spent on that beard and mustache trimmer was probably the best 25 dollars I’ve ever spent.
- Denny’s should change it’s slogan to: ‘The late night hang out where no one wants to go, but everyone ends up.’
- Isn’t about time that Paul McCartney apologizes for his song Vanilla Sky.
- My vote for biggest a-hole ever: The prick who first decided to call retarded people ‘a breath of fresh air’.
- My biggest disappointment of March: The fact that I’ve yet to see Vin Diesel’s The Pacifier.
- Speaking of which, has anyone figured out whether or not Vin Diesel is a stage name or not. I’m mean, is his last name really Diesel?
- All things end badly or else it wouldn't end…