Pressure, pressing down on me.

So in my continued efforts to get a hot bod, I went to my schools mini workout place located in the girl’s dormitory. This was a mistake; for as I found out moments after I began to run on the treadmill (I know I’m a poon) that the AC in the building had been cut for one reason or another. Anyhow, as those who have seen me exercise (an elite group I can assure you of that) know, I sweat profusely. In fact you probably know this if you’ve been around me and the temperature was above 85. So needless to say I lost probably around 10 lbs of water weight during my run. Midway through, when I was already drenched in sweat, a young lady came into work out as well. Seeing as how I was distracted by my music and the fact that she was by no means a ‘looker’ I didn’t really care. However this soon became a problem. Maybe it was the added heat or the sh*tty cafeteria food I’ve been eating, but none the less my stomach was not in a good mood. So I was faced with a dilemma, because I badly needed to fart. Now I was about as unpressentable as they come, in fact by this time my shirt had morphed with my skin. So not only was I sweaty and disgusting, but my white t-shirt was now see through, so if this coed wanted to she could have easily seen my cha chas. And while I really didn’t care what this girl thought of me, news travels fast on this tiny, God—forsaken campus, so I didn’t need her telling an entire girls dormitory how gross I am, they can find that out for themselves. So I decided to hold it in and maybe slip a few out if possible. Well nothing big happened for awhile, but soon my urge to fart was transformed into one of needing to sh*t, badly. I had a few minutes left in my run, and now I was pushin’ cotton I had to go so badly. So instead of ending early, I just sort of closed up the distance between my legs and hoped for the best. Seeing as it now looked as if I had come out of the shower with out drying off and I was running with my butt cheeks clenched together and my legs at a very close proximity I can only imagine what that girl was thinking. Or what she thought when I stopped running and walked awkwardly out of the room and then rushed off to the nearest bathroom. I’m not sure why I’m sharing this, hopefully enough of you out there are as juvenile as I am and get a good deal of laughs out of this.

Until We Meet Again.